20 Things We Would Miss During the Zombie Apocalypse

Recently on our Facebook Community we asked you all to once again take part in a regular feature called You Vote.

This editorial is where we ask you a question and you decide the answers. This go around we asked you what things you would miss most during the zombie apocalypse and true to form you did not let us down with your practical and entertaining answers.

We received a pile of fantastic answers and we have compiled 20 of the more memorable ones to share with you all.

So with no further ado here are the 20 things that you all said you would miss most during the Zombie Apocalypse!

An Ice Cold Beer

I love to have a cold beer after I am done doing some gardening, while I am doing gardening and even before I do the gardening.

Beer is a staple that no man or woman should live without although admittedly it’s not very good for your waist line which in itself is a bad thing if you are trying to out run zombies.

I love beer after any exhausting event or even thinking about an exhausting event so you can only imagine how good a cold beer would be after a long day of kicking zombie ass.

Sure there would be copious amounts of beer kicking around but those of you who drink the stuff know the only thing worse than no beer is a warm beer.

Condoms: Practice Safe Sex

You know what would suck above all suckage? Being stuck in an apocalyptic zombie event without those of the opposite sex. I can not even fathom not being able to copulate on top of being forced to fight off the herds of undead.

What is worse than not having a guy or gal to the horizontal mambo with? Not having any condoms.  Lets suppose I did find a hot woman who looked like Kim Poirier from Dawn of the Dead what good would it do me without condoms?

The only thing worse than no condoms and no women to tango with is a really hot woman to roll in the hay with without protection and getting a sexually transmitted disease!

You should know now that safe sex is important but imagine being forced to fight off the undead and a case of the clap at the same time.

Watching Crappy Movies & TV Shows

I as a rule hate romantic comedies and if they star Jennifer Lopez or Cameron Diaz you can remove the hesitation and say I definitely hate it.

My normal staple is action movies, thrillers and horror movies… shocking I know. That said during the zombie apocalypse I would not only miss my favorite movies and TV shows but my tastes would also be decidedly different.

I am pretty sure that when the zombies come I am going to miss my movies and shows but that I will wish I could watch a cheese laden romantic comedy like Jersey Girl or The Wedding Planner.

Why you ask would my taste in movies suddenly turn to crap? Mainly because I would want something to take my mind off the apocalyptic events around me. What better way to forget my surroundings then to absorb a truly horribly romantic comedy.

Tampons for the Really Bloody Days

Yeah at this point you are probably wondering WTF is going on. Why does a dude want tampons? Well hopefully you remember this list of 20 things we would miss during the zombie apocalypse is based on reader votes.

Lets not forget that 38% of our readers are female which should hopefully explain why tampons were suggested. That said I am sure Macgyver could dream up some cool ways to save the world with Tampons.

Frankly this one stacks right up their with condoms and if I should be so lucky as to find a woman in the apocalyptic zombie landscape I would also appreciate the fact she has tampons.

I am pretty sure that if she asked I would also take on zombies in the local S-Mart to get her some to. Women have power over us men and I will let you all figure out the ways in which they have their grip on us.

Of course if the woman looks anything like the ones from Doghouse its a safe bet that Tampons will be the last thing on your mind.

Air Conditioning for Blood Sweat & Tears

This answer is a good one and not one I had thought about until you all suggested it. I can only fathom being half-starved, no women, no beer and on top of it all sweating my ass off.

Can you imagine how nasty that would be? I at least live in a climate where its cold most of the year but those who live in the warmer areas of the United States or worse yet in the Sudan or Sahara’s of Africa I can only imagine the suffering.

The only way to cool down where ever you are camped out would be to open a window or a door which is a really unintelligent thing to do.

It would not only get you eaten but would allow you to enjoy the aroma of millions of rotting bodies. Its one thing to survive the undead it is quite another to survive without air conditioning but then again perhaps we are just pampered.

Indoor Plumbing & Toilet Paper

My first reaction to the suggestion of missing toilet paper and indoor plumbing was that I did not get it. With 99% of the population now the walking dead I would have all kinds of indoor plumbing and toilet paper to use.

Admittedly I would only want to use that bathroom one time before moving on since the inability to flush would get pretty gross depending on the Number One or Number Two dynamic.

Then I remembered one important detail that you readers clearly clued into. Who the hell wants to go into a confined space to use the bathroom or get Toilet Paper?

Zombieland taught us all to beware of bathrooms and for that reason indoor plumbing and toilet paper would be dearly missed.

Killing Zombies on XBox 360

I love my zombie games and have quite the collection of them from Dead Rising to Resident Evil, and Dead Island I love a good zombie game on the Xbox.

I can however honestly say that playing Xbox would not be on the top of my list of things I miss but clearly some of you did. It is quite obvious we have readers who are not just die-hard horror fans but also die-hard gamers.

Water, food, cold beer would all go far above the ability to kill zombies in Dead Rising. That said you can always look at this from a completely different angle.

In the world of the undead I would definitely miss killing zombies on Xbox360 versus running away from them in real life. So in a way I would agree … yes I would miss killing zombies on my xbox 360.

A Good Nights Sleep After a Long Days Night

Easily this one is one of the best items mentioned by you our readers and it is also one I never really thought about. I envisioned the stress, the starvation and the carnage but  I never once thought about how tired I would be from lack of sleep. Lets be honest are you willing to close your eyes and take a nap in most locations? I think not.

No TV show or film except for maybe the original Day of the Dead captured the lack of sleep angle and the stresses on the mind it would cause.

We all know that the greatest danger in a world of the undead is not the zombies alone but other people who are out to survive themselves.

Think about how much more dangerous they are when they are hotter than hell, starving, sex deprived and worst yet deprived of sleep. Scary!

Popeyes Chicken

A Popeye’s chicken just opened up around the corner from my house and I have to agree they make some pretty damn good chicken so no surprise our community suggested it as something they would miss.

I think it is a safe bet that in a zombie apocalypse we will not just miss Popeye’s chicken but good food in general. When I was still in school I worked at a local Taco Bell and I for one would kill for a chilli cheese burritos most days of the week already. During a zombie apocalypse my cravings for chillitos would be insane.

Sure at first we will just be content to find that can of stewed beets… it will seem like heaven but over time it will lose its appeal.

For how many weeks, months and god forbid if you are a really good survivor YEARS could you go on eating canned goods and sugary drinks?

Twinkies

There is a major misconception that Twinkies last forever… they do not.  The fact you all suggested it both made me chuckle and think. I would also miss my favorite baked goods from the junk food aisle.

I am not a Twinkie fan but I would definitely miss Wagon Wheels, Donuts and carrot cake…. I am getting hungry now just thinking about it.

I do not have a sweet tooth and never have but I can only imagine the things I would crave from the pantry once the pantry is full of zombies.

Admittedly Twinkies is food and could have fallen under the previous group but because of its important movie symbolism it deserved being mentioned on its own.

Non 70′s Bush

Like a few of the answers this one cracked me up. I really had never given any thought to my personal hygiene from this angle before but it is a valid point.

Gone will be the days of well-groomed men and women because if we are too afraid to go into a washroom stall its a safe bet we wont be sitting down anytime soon to trim our nether regions on the off-chance we run into Brooklyn Decker or some stud for the ladies.

That said I think in the event of an apocalypse involving zombies should you find somebody of the opposite sex they will likely be so excited to have a new friend with benefits your grooming might be secondary.

The old adage will become true and what is old will be new again…. ala 70′s bush.

A Big Bucket of Ice

The lack of cold beer will be a serious let down but even worse will be the lack of ICE.

If you have learned anything from film and TV it’s that a stream would help cool your beverages in your time of need for luke warm beer.

That however does not change that fact that we would still be stuck without the pleasure of ice for our whiskey and scotch. Worse yet you can add popsicles, ice cream and slurpee’s to the list of thing we wont be having.

No ice would definitely suck.

On the reverse side folks in the arctic regions would have lots of ice but would miss other amenities like in door heating

Fresh Coffee

Fresh coffee is an interesting suggestion. You definitely would not be getting your mocha latte at Starbucks since the staff there would be more intent on eating you then serving you fresh brew.

For those of us who drink instant coffee because we lack the skills to brew a good cup of coffee we would have some hope. There would be plenty of Vacuum packed containers of it in grocery stores, variety stores and gas stations around the world.

Frankly the only challenge here is whether you are brave enough to stop, put your gear down, start a fire and brew coffee with a million shamblers around you just waiting for you to signal your location.

A bit off topic but if you love that slogan as much as I do you can buy the T-shirt here

A Hot Shower

Once again a suggestion that I had not thought of comes in from you readers. What makes these You Vote editorials so much fun is you think up things that we would  not.

I am pretty sure a hot shower would not be number one on my list but I also know that it would not be last on my list.

I for one can live without ice, must have beer and if it came down to coffee or a hot shower… I would take the risk for coffee.

The only thing worse than going into a bathroom is getting in the shower and getting trapped in a glass lined coffin as the undead come to see what all the singing of rub-a-dub-dub is about.

My Meds

Easily one of my favorite suggestions on the list was the answer ‘my meds’.  I would at this time like to urge all of you to stock up on your meds. The last thing we need is a bunch of crazies running around with a horde of zombies!

There is something to be said for a case of dementia that makes you an axe wielding assassin but I would prefer if you stayed away from me if you are.

That said those of you who are not on anti psychotics you to should also stock up.  The last thing you would want to do is survive the apocalyptic plague to be taken down by an infected sliver off the deck out back.

Dont forget about things like diabetes medication, asthma inhalers or even a simple Tylenol. We make light but there are some simple drugs that would bring the average joe to his knee’s quickly.

Things you did not mention

Of all the things you all listed as items you would miss in a zombie apocalypse what is most notable is the things that you did not mention.

I was surprised to see that nobody mentioned the Internet and not exactly shocked that nobody mentioned their fat husband or naggy wife, or naggy husband and fat wife… let’s be honest it goes both ways.

Nobody mentioned fresh water, nobody mentioned their kids, pets, paying taxes or most importantly…. missing HorrorMovies.ca

Regardless of what was chosen all were good choices and all made for a fun read so thanks for contributing them in yet another edition of you voted. Be sure to follow us on Facebook so you can participate and share your votes.