Alien abduction is the one true thing that scares me. Besides spiders, dust, Barbara Streisand records and dollar-store canned-foods, being taken away by outer-space goons stands high above the rest for keeping me awake at night. The idea that some sort of being with advanced technology that could paralyze and kidnap you within minutes is disturbing to most, while others shrug it off as non-sense. Regardless if you believe in extra-terrestrials or not, let’s see you try going to sleep at night to the X-Files theme song at an early age like I did.
In 1993, Eddie Spaghetti saw a ton of radical new things: the Super-Nintendo, Star Wars themed Pogs, and some weird show called The X-Files that was made by a kid like me (I’m referring to the end credits where a kid exclaims “I Made This!”). Wasn’t exactly sure how somebody at that age was able to create a show about the FBI investigating the paranormal but being a five year-old, anything was possible. As a young viewer, I found the only thing bothersome was the low graphic-content of some episodes but that didn’t matter much once the Greys were introduced.
X-Files fans can be divided between enjoying the alien subplot or preferring the “Monster Of The Week” stories. I’m in the latter bandwagon: every new baddie was unique and felt fresh, while Mulder’s quest to find his abducted sister started to get old. I’ll give the alien stuff one credit though: the abduction scenes were pants-pissing scary. Bright lights, slim figures, amped-up music; creepily well-done to the point where you felt as defenseless as the characters were. I decided that if I were to ever cross paths with a being from another planet with evil intentions, I best brush-up on some information on how to rid them.
Checking-out all the kids books about aliens from the library, I read through pages of eye-witness accounts, spacecraft wreckage details, and a bunch of speculation on some base in Nevada that tourists couldn’t visit. I was not pleased when I found out that aliens don’t specifically have one sort of weakness (although Mr. Spaghetti would probably argue “germs”). Vampires hated garlic, Frankenstein’s Monster didn’t like fire, but there’s nothing you can do about a pissed-off alien. That thought haunted me, especially as I would go to sleep at just the right time to hear that chilling theme-song play off the television set downstairs. The volume wasn’t very high but the tone was, so the high notes were audible through the ceiling.
Eventually, I got lucky when my parents stopped watching The X-Files as often as they did during the first few seasons. No longer did I have to hide under the blankets from a potential martian attack. Even today, the theme song gives me goosebumps and sparks a hint of paranoia. Its like entrance music for a pro-wrestler; I prepare for something out-of-this-world to reveal itself from behind the curtains. Luckily, I have the option to skip the intro with a remote control: its the only way I know of to prevent any thoughts of alien abduction.