Kevin Smith Takes on the Rapture in Helena Handbag

Jason McDonald

Now that Kevin Smith is nearing completion on his current film, “Tusk”, what does the young man from the little state of New Jersey have next for us? How about a movie featuring a giant Jesus Christ destroying mankind? You hear that? I believe that’s the sound of monocles falling into champagne glasses and old women grasping at their pearls.

Taking to his Facebook Page earlier today, director/writer/actor Kevin Smith announced his intentions to work on a script based on an idea that was pitched during an episode of his Smodcast.  If you’re familiar with the development history of “Tusk”, this was also how that movie came to be.

During the episode, Smith and co-host Scott Mosier talked about what the Rapture would be like if it was led by a giant Jesus Christ destroying humanity ala Godzilla. Which led to this idea:

…the plot of the movie concerns mankind teaming up with Hell to save existence from extinction at the hands of a Rapturing giant Jesus.

The film currently has the title of “Helena Handbag”.  Say it outloud, you’ll get it.  It’s a risque idea, to say the least, and Kevin Smith knows that something like this isn’t going to have mass appeal.

…the budget has to be LOW, because NOBODY’S gonna wanna make that movie. At all. And I know this going in, so I won’t be heartbroken if it never goes beyond the script. But… if the script is funny enough? Who knows? That walrus movie seemed pretty daffy and far-fetched until we were standing on the TUSK set bringing that shit to life four months and change after first making it up in episode 259 of SModcast.

Kevin then goes on to mention that Clerks 3 should start shooting in May, so this movie won’t be seeing the light of day any time soon.  However, the prospect of Kevin Smith working on a low-budget giant monster movie is enough to put this on my list of anticipated films.  Which doesn’t exist, but if it did, it’d be on there.  But now I’m left with one question: will Buddy Christ make an appearance?

Buddy Christ


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      1. Max Valenzuela December 31, 2013 at 7:36 am

        Take my money!!!!

      2. Celene Cole December 31, 2013 at 7:38 am

        I’m there!

      3. Mituzas Joseph December 31, 2013 at 7:40 am

        Going to be great!!!! 😀

      4. Ruben Ramirez Jr December 31, 2013 at 7:47 am

        The Crapture. Man this episode on Smodcast killed & tickled my ear pussy. Him and Scotty Mo! Look it up folks and listen

      5. Noel Sundby December 31, 2013 at 7:49 am

        I’d like to see a giant Jesus fight a giant Mohammed! That would be awesome!

      6. Brian O'blivion December 31, 2013 at 7:57 am

        I’m glad Kevin smith started smoking weed so now he can just toss out terrible movie ideas all day on twitter or his diary.

        • Horror-Movies.ca
          Horror-Movies.ca December 31, 2013 at 5:59 pm

          wait when did he STOP smoking weed?

      7. Daniel York December 31, 2013 at 8:17 am

        That sounds awesome

      8. Roberto-Juan Gonzalez December 31, 2013 at 8:30 am

        Great idea for a movie, especially one that will make religious heads explode… LOL

      9. Dean Waterman December 31, 2013 at 8:46 am

        Would be amazing! Needs to be big budget tho!

      10. NanaDonna Castello December 31, 2013 at 9:13 am

        The fucking Buddy Christ, very cool.

      11. Kent Sylvester December 31, 2013 at 10:38 am


      12. Jerry Rios December 31, 2013 at 11:06 am

        Take your time in writing the script

      13. Jeanette Lucero December 31, 2013 at 11:22 am


      14. Larry Brown December 31, 2013 at 12:09 pm


      15. Andrew Sedlack December 31, 2013 at 12:39 pm

        Lol Ryan David

      16. Rachelle Split Lip Alvarez December 31, 2013 at 2:03 pm


      17. Michael Chervenak December 31, 2013 at 2:48 pm

        It sounds like a hoot. I would go see it.

      18. Tiago December 31, 2013 at 3:37 pm

        Kevin already made some kind of comment on the rapture in the movie red state. And it was so awesome and mature (until the part about blind faith, at least) it is unbeliviable that he is going to have such a childsh aproach. But we arw talking about the guy who did dogma, so…

      19. Lee Stacy December 31, 2013 at 4:09 pm

        This would be awesome.

      20. Jeremy Arruda December 31, 2013 at 4:14 pm

        This is the same person who thought up Red State? That was a good movie but this idea literally took about 5 seconds worth of thought.

        • Horror-Movies.ca
          Horror-Movies.ca December 31, 2013 at 6:00 pm

          Kevin Smith is a really talented writer and as nutty as this concept is the fact Smith is going to do it makes it possible. Dogma is a great example of zany working

        • Jeremy Arruda December 31, 2013 at 6:04 pm

          I am not a fan of most of his films and didn’t like Dogma. Red State was a big step for him because it really showed him maturing. It had interesting things to say and it managed to be suspenseful and entertaining. I think a movie with this idea would get stale after the first 30 – 40 minutes or so. As a short film it would be fine. That’s just my opinion.

      21. bob101910 December 31, 2013 at 5:06 pm

        Wasn’t there a famous guy who said he saw a giant Jesus while he was driving, but only idiots believed him?

      22. Beckie Wilson December 31, 2013 at 5:20 pm

        Dennis Wilson. LMAO

      23. Dennis Wilson December 31, 2013 at 5:26 pm


      24. Scott Rains December 31, 2013 at 10:13 pm


      25. Tadin Talični Biberovic December 31, 2013 at 10:24 pm

        Zionist shit! Jesus was great man and Mohammed too! May Gods peace be upon them

      26. Michael kruger January 1, 2014 at 7:18 pm

        I remember buddy Christ