A few years ago I did a daily countdown to Halloween that featured some of my favorite scares from 31 different horror movies. This year I’m bringing back the feature, but this time we’re taking a look at some of my favorite guilty pleasures.
There’s no rhyme or reason to how these movies are being listed, so the placement on the countdown doesn’t denote any sort of ranking. Also, my definition of guilty pleasure is a movie that ranges from either being not very good to outright bad, but there’s something about it that still makes it endearing to watch.
It’s Halloween! Somehow we all survived long enough to make it to another one of these magical days. And while everyone is going to tell you about what are the best movies to watch on Halloween day or how “Halloween” is still one of the best horror movies, I’m here to spin you a different tale. What if I were to tell you that “Halloween: Resurrection” is the second greatest “Halloween” movie of all time?
Obviously, the original 1978 “Halloween” is still the best “Halloween” movie. There’s no doubt about it. If you try to come at me and say that Rob Zombie’s “Halloween” is just as good, then I will say good day to you and wish you on your way. The second greatest “Halloween” movie may be a debatable subject for some, but that’s only because those people have not come to the realization that I and many others have: that “Halloween: Resurrection” is a true masterpiece.
Now you might be saying “How it can be a ‘masterpiece’ when Rotten Tomatoes has it at 12%” Sure, that sounds bad, but we all know mainstream critics judge horror films harshly. So that number is probably just a tad bit skewed to the bottom by some short sighted jerks. Instead, let’s look at the back of the “Halloween: Resurrection” DVD that I retrieved from a Walmart bargain bin. It says here that the Knoxville News Sentinel called it “Smart and Scary.” If there’s one thing that Tennessee knows, it’s smarts. Meanwhile the San Jose Mercury news called it “Surprising AND fun!” Who doesn’t like fun? Especially when the fun surprises you. But we don’t have to take their word for it, because through the magic of YouTube we can relive just how good “Resurrection” was.
In “Halloween: Resurrection” Busta Rhymes runs a production company called “DangerTainment” and has the brilliant idea of getting together a bunch of dumb reality star wannabes and putting them into the Michael Myers house on Halloween night. While Busta has filled the house with surprises and his own version of Michael, things take a deadly turn when the real slasher turns up to take back his home.
I’m sure, at the time, people probably had to have hated Busta Rhymes in this movie. For me, though, this movie wouldn’t be as memorable if he wasn’t in it. Very few movies would let some random guy punk out their slasher movie villain, but in “Resurrection” Busta gets to chew Michael out and then instead of killing Busta, Michael just does what he says. Can you imagine this happening to Freddy or Jason? It’s insane.
Like is Michael so thoroughly confused by seeing himself that he can’t kill Busta? No way would old Michael not just straight up stab him, but the fact that he doesn’t makes this scene for me.
And then when you think Busta might finally get killed in a showdown with Michael, he reveals that he has in his arsenal Michael Myers’ greatest weakness: Kung-Fu. In the movie Busta’s character is a big fan of old school karate movies and we even see him at the beginning of the movie watching some of them. So the movie does this amazing cinematic trick called a ‘call back” and we get to see Busta Rhymes strike a martial arts pose and proceed to yell “Hiiiiiii-yah!” before kicking Michael out of a windom.
What a ballsy man! Unfortunately, kung-fu kicks only have a temporary effect on Michael and he’s soon back up and killing again. In a tragic turn of events Michael stabs Busta. Now at this point you might be thinking Busta Rhymes is dead and you’re probably ready to just throw your hands in the air and walk away. But before you do, something magical happens. Like the phoenix rising out of the ashes, Busta Rhymes makes his grand return at a pivotal moment to turn the tide.
Busta Rhymes tazed Michael Myers in the balls. Did you ever think those word would be uttered? Well, there they are. Fun fact: if you start to slow things down at the 1:40 mark you might catch a glimpse of a white guy kicking the door down and not Busta Rhymes. The original ending of the movie would have had Derek, the teen who had been helping Sara over her phone, bust in to try and stop Michael. Could you have believed that? If Busta Rhymes with all his karate know how could barely stop Michael, what chance would a nerdy teen have? Clearly the better ending won out.
Obviously “Resurrection” isn’t my favorite Halloween movie, but this far removed from it’s release there’s something about it that’s just comforting. Somehow it’s combination of cheese and poor quality forms a warm blanket that makes this movie so easy to sit back and watch. It’s the rare horror movie that I could put on after a long bad day and feel better. Thank-you Busta Rhymes. Thank-you.