DANNY
How did you become like this!

NICK (who's possessed by Johnny Cash)
better watch out or "gods gonna cut u down" and that'll make you "hurt"

DANNY
What are u talking about Nick?!?!

NICK
ya see, i know pain cuz my "daddy sang bass" i told him to "get rythem" then he said u were "a boy named sue"

DANNY
What the FUCK!!!

NICK
You know, i'm just a "son of a preacherman."

DANNY
That's fucking dusty springfield you poser!

NICK
Damn you caught me!

THE END

The Adventures of Matt and Mike in How I Got Possessed by a Serial Killing Elvis
- Derek Huey

A girls runnign through the forest covered in blood. A man's following behind her. She trips over a strick and falls to the gorund on her knees. The guy grabs her and forces her neck upward.

GIRL
Why are you doing this?!

We see the guy and he's Elvis Presley

ELVIS
Why? Becuase I'm the king of rock and roll baby!

Elvis slits her throat and blood starts flying. Elvis slicks his hair back.

ELVIS
Ah! Not blood on my blue suede shoes!

We fade to black...

We open up on Matt (elvis) sleeping in his bed. His alarm goes off and he slowly wakes up.

MATT
God damnit!

He goes to pull the covers off and see's red stuff on his hands.

MATT
What the fuck?

He pulsl the covers off adn see's he's in his full elvis costume.
He stars down for a while

MATT
Wow...

-----

Matts out in the kitchen wearing his work clothes and Mike walks in out his room..

MIKE
Where the fuck were you last night?

MATT
I don't know! How much did I have to drink last night?

MIKE
How should I know? I'm not writign a fucking biography about you.

MATT
Well do you have some sort of idea?

MIKE
No! Because I was too busy trying to get laid and you were cramping my style with your shitty elvis impression.

MATT
Hrmm.. Well did you get laid?

MIKE
Well...

A Guy comes out Mike's room half naked.

GUY
Come back to bed.

MATT
Oh... welll...

MIKE
Yeah...

MATT
So.. your... gay?

MIKE
Yeah.... I... Love the cock.

MATT
Well how about that...

Matt shakes his head.

MATT
So why was i impersonating elvis?

MIKE
Shit! I don't know! Last night you were just sitting there and...

-shows a clip of last night-

Mike and the gay guy are both chatting as we see-
Matt has his shot glass in his hand

MATT
This is for the homies!

Matt takes the shot then his eyes open wide.

ELVIS
Oooooh! thank you, thank you very much. Hrmm!

elvis looks at his hands and feet with a questioning face.

----
back to mike explaining the story

MIKE
And then you kept on doing the stupid elvis impression from then on.

MATT
Oh god, I was drunk.

GUY
I thought it was sooooo funny!

MIKE
Can you go back to my room or sometihng?

GUY
Fiiiiiine!

MATT
Fuck it, yall too queers have fun i gotta jet to work!

Matt leaves.

-LATER THAT NIGHT-

show a clip of the moon or some shit like that then go back to matt in his room sleeping.

Matt's in his bed sleeping. He's tossing and turning.
His eyes open up. He pulls the covers off and grabs his elvis costume...

We go to outside his room in the living room. The gay guy walks out of mikes room, he's walking funny cuz his butt hurts. He enters the bathroom with the door cracked open a little.

GUY
Silly boys always have the toilet seat up.... Man I gotta go pee!

Guy puts the toilet seat down and sits on it.
we see through Elvis's eyes and he has a knife in his hand. He walks toward the restroom and opens the restroom door.
The guy screams in a girls voice!

GUY
Oh Matt! You scared me!

Elvis lifts up the blade and throws it, it hits the gay guys chest and blood flies.

ELVIS
Looks like this blade is, *cocks eye balls and turns his head* stuck on you.

Mike runs into the room.

MIKE
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

ELVIS
It isn't how it looks.

MIKE
MATT WHAT THE FUCK!!!

ELVIS
Maybe it is how it looks.

MIKE
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK !!!!

Elvis shakes and then he looks around it's matt now.

MATT
What the fuck? Mike! I didn't care if you were faggot or not you didn't have to kill him!

MIKE
What the fuck I didn't fucking kill him! You did!

MATT
How the fuck can you blame me!

MIKE
Becuase your fucking here!

MATT
But I didn't fucking do it!

Matt twitches

ELVIS
Yeah cuz it was me baby!

Matt shakes a lil.

MIKE
What the fuck was that?

MATT
Dude I don't fucking know!

Matt shakes

ELVIS
It's not what the fuck, it's who the fuck! I'm Elvis Aaron Presley bitches!

Matt shakes.

MATT
Why the hell can't I controle my self!

ELVIS
Cuz I'm the king baby...

Elvis walks toward the dead gay guy and grabs the knife out of his chest.

MATT
Run Mike!!!!

Mike runs to his room and lock it!
Elvis runs after him.

ELVIS
Open up door! Cmon man! Why you all shook up?

MIKE
Why are you doing this Matt!

ELVIS
It's not Matt's fault baby, for I took all control!

---
outside the suns coming up
---

Matt's asleep next to mike's door. Mike finally opens his door up and starts kicking matt.

MATT
What the!

MIKE
DIE ELVIS!

MATT
Dude I'm not fucking elvis anymore I'm cool now! I guess he only takes control at night... I think I'm fucking posessed dude.

MIKE
We got to stop him!

MATT
Were going to need an excorsism.

Mike nods.

---
we see outside it gets darker and the moon comes up...
---

Matt's tied to Mikes bed.

MATT
I swear your faggot ass better not suck my dick!

MIKE
No dude. I looked up on the internet and i think I know how to get Elvis out of you.

Mike grabs his cd case and starts throwing cds at him. and mike says owe after every cd hits him

MIKE
THE POWER OF RAP COMPELLS YOU! THE POWER OF RAP COMPELLS YOU!

MATT
Thats it? The power of rap? what the fuck is that?

MIKE
u know... Like 2pac and shit.

MATT
Dude, thats not going to work!

MIKE
Well you wont know until I try!

Mike continues throwing cds at him saying "the power of rap compells you."

ELVIS
Look here hound dog, it's not gonna work.

MIKE
What about holy water?

ELVIS
Holy Water??

Mike pulls out a vial out of his pocket.

MIKE
I mean this was for desperate measures but you know... Lets try it.

Mike starts throwing it at him and elvis is burning.

ELVIS
Ahhh! This burns more then genatal warts!

MIKE
The power of rap.. err... christ compells you!

ELVIS
AHHHHHHH!

Elvis screams as his head throws down.
It's now matt and he's exhausted.
Go to elvis's ghost eyes, and see Matt falls and then see him start moving toward Mike.
Mike twitches a lil.

ELVIS (as mike)
Hah! I betchu didn't know i could jump from body to body like that did ya baby?

MATT
I'll fucking kill you Elvis!

ELVIS
Sorry to be yout heart break hotel, but things have got to go my way. Cya Matt!

Elvis walks to the door. He turns and looks at Matt tied to the bed.

ELVIS
Elvis has left the building baby!

Elvis points at Matt. And he walks out.

MATT
NO!!!! NOOO!!!!!

Elvis walks down the street. WE FADE TO BLACK

THE END
Derek John Huey