What, you think I wouldn't have a brass turkey?

Lots of cool flicks to enjoy, and plenty of clunkers to make fun of, resulted in a good time for H-Fest.  I really enjoyed myself.  Kudos to Azzie for putting the whole thing together and big thanks to those who participated.  Can't wait for next year!

I'll pass on the turkey kiss, by the way.

Thanks everyone for making a great weekend of horror watching.  Lots of first-timers this year (as opposed to everyone being new timers last year, ).  I had a great time, and I hope all of the attendees did, too.

Attendess:
(Movies attended- 1 full for time, ½ for part time or just chatting without watching the film.  This came from the log thread.  The winner gets a kiss from the bronze turkey Stephano.  If I got anything wrong, let me know and I'll fix it.)

Az              1 1 1 1 1 0.5 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0.5 0.5 0.5 0.5 1 0.5 = 18
Creature       1 1 1 1   = 4
Garden         1 1 1 1   = 4
Golem          1 1 0.5  1 1 0.5 1 1 1
HQ               1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0.5 1 1 1 0.5 0.5 0.5 0.5 1 1 1 0.5 = 16.5
Lon              1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0.5 0.5 1 1 1 1 1 1  = 21
Panda          1 1 0.5 0.5 1 1   = 5
Scavenger    1 1  = 2
SheSaid        1 1 1 0.5 1  = 4.5
Vampy          0.5  = 0.5
Vasquez        1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 0.5  = 10.5
Vengey           1 1  = 2

So pucker up, Lon. 

So here is the roll up for the weekend.

Friday-

Halloween 3:
Az, Lon, Panda, Scavenger

A lot of discussion why people didn't like this movie (a Halloween without The Shape).  Panda's computer's mic volume kept going crazy, and his roommate was screaming a lot in the background (something about a game, ).

Dawn of the Dead (2004):
Az, Lon, Vasquez

Lon came up with the idea of using the zombie baby as a football.  I commented on the use of a chainsaw in a confined environment.  Vas & Lon were making comparisons to the game Left 4 Dead.  Lon's guest cabin had a malfunction in the middle of the film.  You'll have to ask him.

Creepshow:
Lon, Scavenger, Vasquez, HQ, Panda
(Lon ran this one since I had shopping to do.)

I know they talked about the bug episode, because I caught Lon sending pictures of bugs to HQ and Scav.  I had to send a pic of a kitten hugging a teddy bear to soothe them.

Drag Me to Hell:
Az, Creature, Vasquez

Vas was quite disappointed with the CGI.  Creature & I were discussing directorial styles between Drag and the Evil Deads.  Also, don't upset crazy old Gypsy women!

Slither:
Az, Lon, HQ, Creature

Not a lot interesting talk, besides Lon & HQ going through lists of attractive women.

Night of the Creeps:
Az, Lon, HQ, Creature, Vasquez

First watch for HQ.  She was upset at Cynthia for being a wimp at the beginning.  HQ warmed up to her by the end.  Of course, Lon & I were running lines-  "Banshee, he he."  "Thrill me."  Speaking of which, instead of the countdown ending in "Play," for the rest of HFest is will end in, "Thrill Me."    We had fun pointing out all the horror-related names and visuals in the film.

Saturday-

Zombie:
Az, Creature, Lon

Had a discussion about "Lon, shark tamer," during the shark scene.  I asked him, "What if it was an Italian shark?"  He replied, "Then I'd Italian punch him."  Me- "???"  Creature was all into the eyeball scene.  I mentioned I get whiny when I get dust in my eye.  We appreciated the score and the makeup/FX.

Then the 3 of us feel asleep, .

Demons: ?

House on Haunted Hill (1959): ?

Night of the Living Dead (1968): ?

House of 1000 Corpses: ?

Devil's Rejects:
HQ watched.  Az and Panda stayed to chat.

Here is HQ's comments-
HQ enjoying the soundtrack.
She's afraid of clowns.
She's digging the dialogue
Impressed with the insane facial hair
She also think Rob Zombie is a very lucky guy (wife).

Bay of Blood/Twitch of the Death Nerve:
Az, HQ, Lon

Az- "It's not an Italian horror film without lots of nudity."  Lon- "It's not a Bava party unless it's a killin' party."  HQ- "You guys are weird."
A fair bit of discussion on 70s fashion, and how the one guy looked a lot like Dexter, from the show.  Lon missed the last 10 minutes of the movie moving a gas tank for a neighbor.  However, his cabin is still intact!

Tenebrea:
az, Golem, HQ, Lon, Vas

Loving the soundtrack (Goblin to boot). Golem used a term I hadn't heard before- prog rock.
Talked about the looong crane shot.  Lon said this is his favorite Argento film.  We talked about how the dog chase must involved a super dog with a jet rocket in his butt. 

Phenomena:
Az, Golem, HQ, Lon, Vengey

Everyone loved the opening scene.  Golem came up with an even more gruesome comic pic featuring scissors.  Had an interesting discussion on the differences between countries about Halloween.  Mourned the loss of Donald Pleasance.  And of course, there was the monkey. 

Cabin in the Woods:
RevengeBiteMe, Vasquez, Lon, HorrorQueen (in & out), Golem (in & out)

Not a lot of chat for this one; Revenge had to bug out due to computer issues; Vas was suspiciously silent; Lon spent five minutes talking about the wrong movie while trying to find golem a link for Hausu

Dead Snow:
Az, Lon, HQ, Garden

A lot of discussion on the scenery and how all the white made the blood stand out.  Found out zombie intestines can be quite useful.  In the meantime, Lon developed a new scoring system for everyone.  Also, let this be a morality story for thieves.

House/Hausu:
Az, Golem, HQ, Lon

Let's start with a quote from HQ-  "All lost our minds. Now off to speak with the banana lord."  That pretty much sums up the movie.  It's completely surreal, things happen, sometimes for a reason, a cat keeps getting thrown around, someone is a ghost, and one of the girls gets eaten by a lampshade, except for her one leg that keeps on doing kung-fu.  Half the time we were asking each other things like, "Is that skeleton really dancing next to the aunt?"  "Why is a flying head going around biting peoples' butts?"  "Did we all drop acid before we started watching this?"   It was so vivid, so frenetic, and so odd it added up to pure fun.

Sunday-

Grave Encounters:
Az, HQ, Lon

Fairly quiet conversation on this one.  Lon was really getting annoyed with the T.C. character, while HQ and I just wished Sasha would just stop screaming.  We found some flaws in the film.

Riki-O: Story of Ricky:
Az, Lon, Garden, HQ (for a while)

HQ cut out early since this "wasn't her type of thing."  Feature the un-killable Riki, a freaky assistant warden, a monster warden, and the most severely dysfunctional child ever as the warden's son.   Add in a heroin growing operation, and 4 mutants heads of the gangs in the prison.  Throw in fights where people get punched through, a guy strangles someone with his own intestines (I mean the guy cuts open his own stomach, pulls out his intestines, and the strangles the other guy).  Crazy action and crazy fun.

The Convent (2000):
Garden riding solo

"I watched The Convent by myself, the movie was boring at some points, quirky at others and I am glad I saw it but wouldn't watch it again."

Psycho III:
Garden again going solo

"Psycho 3, by myself, too, loved it.  The back story on Norman Bates is something that was best left unfilled in, but that they did it, made for a fun horror story.  I miss Anthony Perkins."

Stage Fright:
Az, Golmen, Garden, HQ (for the beginning), Lon (for the ending)

The movie has a guy dancing on stage wearing a gigantic owl-head mask.  Flashback to Hausu resulted.  There's even a cat.  Anyway, I was only ½ watching it, so I'm going by the others' remarks.  They were impressed how the dance/acting troupe really stuck together once the killing started- "Wow, they really stick together."  Discussion on appropriate giant owl-head killer precautions were discussed.  Also very impressed with the ensemble towards the end of the film, lol.  Golem remarked that at the end the killer lost his cool and was screaming like a baby, which was admittedly better than screaming like a banshee or turning into a pile of bananas.

Intruder:
Az, SheSaid, (Golem didn't watch but chimed in)

Started off complaining about inflation (shrimp was $3/lb back then!).   We decided that shrimp are powerful.  Commented on the quality of the fight scene.  Hint- not so good.  SheSaid lamented that they can't buy beer in grocery stores in Canada, so he has a buddy bring up Old English 40s so he can hang on the steps sipping the OE.  I called him gangsta, and asked if the moose also drink 40s (he said no, they have their own beer, Moose Head, lol).  Had a nice discussion on all the dangerous equipment to be found in a grocery store, since almost every one of them was used to kill somebody.  And wheat germ attack!

Innocent Blood:
Golem, SheSaid, Lon (a bit late), Vas, Az (fist half)

Lon laid out his encyclopedia of knowledge on everyone actor in the movie, including the massive overlap in this movie and The Sopranos.  There was some talk about tax forms in movies, brought up by Golem (?).  Lon got DISCOED.  Vas forgot that he had time change (daylight savings or whatever they call it over there), so he was all confused.  We named Lon's shark "Funkenstein SuperPoop."  I was busy writing another anti-spammer post,   SheSaid said he wants to go get a bigger fish; yeah, got me, too on that one.   Afterward, SheSaid and Vas expressed their admiration.  Lon was shushed when noting cameos (SheSaid will be dealt with later)

Wrong Turn:
Lon (ran this one), SheSaid, Vas, HQ (in and out)

-HQ hates that her youth prevented her from experiencing Carpenter/Craven/ Romero/Raimi in their prime. 
-Shesaid hates when university gets in the way. 
-Lon hates Wrong Turn

Dog Soldiers:
Lon (ran this film), Golem, Vas, HQ (in and out), AZ (partial)

- Golem screams "Someone hold my bowels!"
- Az is the Monkey Lord of Dong
- Lon owns a shark he rides and crotch-punches regularly
HQ - has a jones for candy corn, which has the consistency of wax and can induce a sugar coma
- some talk of an impromptu movie night on Halloween night (nothing concrete yet)

Scream 4:
Az (part time), HQ, Lon, Vas, Golem,

Discussed the various way we would stab each other, and how the cannon fodder girls tend to blondes.    We liked the multiple beginnings.  Lots of talk about how hot Anna Paquin and Neve Campbell are.  Mostly split down the middle. At this point my hamburger came home via my lovely wife Vampy, and I told the crew I shall be back after, "I enjoy the meaty flavor of the meat on meat rolls with meat sauce and meaty toppings!"  (HQ is a vegetarian, )  Then I come back and every is at different times and scenes.  Impressive for only 10 minutes!  Also, there was much confusion between the actresses in the actual Scream movies and the fake Stab movies.
Note from Lon- "Lon and HQ think Neve Cambpell's hot" and "Nobody can tell a Stab from a Scream" "

Trick 'r Treat:
Az (part time), HQ, Lon
SheSaid, Panda & Vas for a various bits

Lots of talk about Halloween outfits.  HQ was complaining Halloween isn't such a big deal across the pond.  Lon has had some elaborate outfits in the past.  Lon and HQ talked about who would make a good Lara Croft.  The redhead from the TV show The Mentalist came up.  Then we got yelled at by HQ for talking about a 3-legged dog, so I had to switch it up to 3-legged hobo goats.  Talked about how it was a fun weekend, but also how it's draining to compress so many movies into that span of time.  Via HQ- "The werewolves were hot and vomiting 30 gallons of blood was slightly off."

Halloween (1978):
Hallowenn (1978)
Az, HQ, Lon, Panda

After a 20 minute delay where Vampy joined us just to chit chat, we spent most of the time discussing the technical aspects of the film.  Plus the history of the film, the sequels, etc.  Not a lot of funny talk this time.

Monday-

Halloween 2 (1981):
Lon, Panda, SheSaid
Az & HQ fell asleep early on.

Lots of talk about tunnel vision and lack of situational awareness.  White-fros are cool.  Panda has a thing for chick and cars and thinks The Shape's mask is creepiest during the hospital attack.  Shesaid was very nearly micturated upon but got off on a technicality.  Lon thinks it's funny that The Shape can pounce a victim from the bottom of the screen.  NINJA MICHAEL!

Halloween (2007): ?

Hatchet: ?

Hobo with a Shotgun: ?

So there you have it, a bunch of something wrapped in horror movies.  I hope everyone had fun, once again thanks for coming out, and let's see what we can come up with next year.

-Azzy