Topic: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

as I said.

I've been writing poems since a young, young age and would feel rather privileged to share a particular poem with you.

Same goes for everyone else, is there a poem you have ever written that you would feel honoured to share among others, if so then welcome to this thread smile

With a lot of funky love,

BTK

x

P.S (Also this is a thread where I would appreciate it if no-one was analytical or putting poems down. This is not a post where you can have a go, but simply to share yourself with everyone else. Any thoughts or comments that are not appropriate for the thread direct to my PM box thank you)

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

My Poem entitled: Unplatonic Ending

The Ending was so unplatonic
Dark and grim
His face probing in my mind
Forever in my memory he'll swim

He ruined everything dear to me
Stole everything in the blink of an eye
In that moment why didn't I flee?
Make up a tale; lie?

The words were grim
So moody and glum
The lights so gothically dim
I should've just run, run

The blood on the ground, dark crimson
Weeping from his neck
What's done is done
But, oh, everything is such a wreck

Screaming for breath
I tell him I just want him to go
The answer is as he knows it
A resounding no, no, no!

I didn't mean it
I simply wanted him to understand

Myself, I was just defending. Never wanting
This unplatonic Ending.

Last edited by BlackTequilaKiss (2009-04-19 10:03:25)

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

I like the whole thing, but the last half is much stronger than the first. Very very well done...my kind of poem too big_smile

Last edited by Vamp_Slayer (2009-04-19 10:25:11)

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

just a little thing about this poem. it comes from a series of poems i worte the day a really good friend of mine died last year. i sat up all night that night and just wrote poetry. this one is near the end of the series, its was probably around 4 AM at the time and i hadnt slept for over 24 hours.

"Untitled"
I Scream
And all I hear is me
I Scream
Because no one listens
I Scream
So i can stay alive
I Scream
And feel this rage
I Scream
And feel this terror
I Scream
In Silent Halls
I Scream
And all I hear is the Echo



Why does it Echo?

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Wow. That immersed me Death, abosolutely loved it smile

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

I'll play  big_smile
here's something I wrote a while ago:

I'm just the dirt under your feet, a shadow on the wall
I'm words you can't repeat, the bottom of your fall
I'm the itch under your skin, the teardrop in your eye
Your passageway to sin, the darkness in your sky
I'm the rip when you are torn, the love that went astray
The calm before the storm when all is washed away
I'm the voices in your head that no one else can hear
The stranger in your bed that you hold so dear
I'm the knife stuck in your back, the thorn that's in your side
The endless fade to black when all your angels died
I'm the void you thought was heaven, the ending of a dream
The silence from your parted lips when you tried to scream
I'm the future you're expecting, the past you can't erase
The shattered mirror reflecting back at you your face

Last edited by deadhorse13 (2009-04-19 12:44:32)

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

i like it Dead. interesting for sure

and thanks BTK!

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Hi Hi there's an eye in my pie
By the look of the ooze it must have a sty.
Alas though I say as I put it away
the texture was chewy and almost like fly.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

I don't know what mood I was in when I wrote this one, but it clicks with me, so enjoy

Devil
Sitting by the window
Listening to my eyes watch the world
I saw the sun go down
Now it's coming up
Somewhere in the time between something was lost
My brain was ticking
Waiting to explode
Dark clouds reign over me
Something is going to happen
Unexplainable happenings
I sit in my chair
Paralyzed
Seeing sparks fly over me
It's the devil
I waited to hear what he had to say
He smiled at me
"I have your friend now" He gnashed his teeth snarling
And so it was
Another one lost
Another star....burnt out
Dwarfed in the world
I stand alone
Wiser but not happier
I live my life with you in my eye
I see what you see now
The lights go out
Devil take me into your darkness and show me light

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm against religion and this is a poem I wrote shortly after I realized that (to me) praying is as useful as talking to a brick wall,

Nothing Happens When I Pray

Wondering about the world
Wandering the world
Asking for help
Hoping for change
Talking to the sky
A voice?
A whisper?
A sign?
nothing...
Backed by promises never fulfilled
Emptiness became friend
Left alone on a plain of existence
Looking for what's right
Finding out what's wrong
All alone
Wanting help and never receiving
Back turns and walks away
Nothing happens when I pray

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

This is a poem that although I'm a strong person, I break down even when copy pasting it.  My best friend killed himself and the good to come from that was a, literally, career in writing.  This is an updated version of the first poem I ever wrote. 

To Steve:

It only took you 17 years to realize,
To realize that life is too short,
You didn't weigh your options,
You didn't think who would care,
Life moves around,
Unstable and unsecured.
Instead of getting back on track,
You stayed off,
Leaving people alone,
Leaving people scared,
You made me cry,
You made everyone cry,
You thought it was all about you,
Now we are all here,
Wandering around in a world without you,
Taking life is not the way out,
I wish you could have seen that.
I wish you were here.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Beautiful, just Beautiful Garden smile I feel quite honoured that you were willing to share such stunning work.

They were truly gorgeous big_smile

Last edited by BlackTequilaKiss (2009-04-20 16:14:31)

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Thank you, especially that last one is purely written from my heart

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Holy crap you guys!

Death that is really sad, I'm sorry. Great poem, you can tell when someone has really put their emotion into the poem. I think it's excellent.

Deadhorse, you poem gave me chills, it was excellently written.

Garden, all of your poems have such great feeling in them.

I'm really glad you all are sharing these. BTK this was an excellent thread idea.
We have such talented people on this site in a wide variety of subjects, it's awesome to share talents.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

THank you, Vamp, I mean that, thank you

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Here is something I wrote... it's more like lyrics than a poem...

Trust in Sleep

Inside the hollow tree of shame
I’m filling up all this empty space
No one else to blame, oh I’m such a waste
But I stay, with longing thoughts
And every day this tree is on display
Time to find another place

There is trust in sleep
In a dream I am lost, but safe
The only place to escape
It’s not real,
But maybe we’ll rest
Forever someday, forever away
From this nightmare

Beside the chimney of hate
You’ve got them lined up to burn today
No you just can’t wait, yah you’ll have your way
But you don’t show remorse
And your fire makes a blinding parade
Through which we must find our way

There is trust in sleep
In a dream I am lost, but safe
The only place to escape
It’s not real,
But maybe we’ll rest
Forever someday, forever away
From this nightmare

And now your fire’s burning bright
And the tree is pulled in by its light
So easy to feed with the one’s you’re insecure about
Does it cause you sadness?
Do you have your doubts?
No, you still love yourself

There is trust in sleep
In a dream I am lost, but safe
The only place to escape
It’s not real,
But maybe we’ll rest
Forever someday, forever away
From this nightmare

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Very deep, Vamp, almost plays out like a movie.  It's the proper amount of dark and hope, I love it!!!!!

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Thanks a lot big_smile. I also welcome criticism from anyone who may want to tear it apart as well! Haha. It can only make me better.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

lol would critique it but that was truly beautiful Vamp, I have been told I am too positive but I'm not going to say that was gorgeous if it wasn't. And that was, Gorgeous! smile

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

i like it vamp. very nice. would def make a great song.
here's another one of mine, i wrote it just the other day.

"Untitled" (several of my poems i have no title for tongue

Sitting here in this silence
Nothing around me, but everything is there
i cant see anything; though
I know its there
I have seen it before, but it was ripped and torn and burned
Taken away by the riptide of Life and Death
Im searching, grasping, crying
trying to find a foothold
So i dont get dragged away myself
why is it like thi? Why me?
why am i lonely?
Why am i scared?
There is nothing to be afraid of
Yet there is everything to fear
I dont know how much more i can take
Im Growing weak
Im growing tired
I cant resist the tide forever
Not where im at, its too strong
I should just let the tide pull me out
And drown out at sea

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Hm...I'm not very good at titles and always criticise mine harshly, but maybe you call it something like: Blank (you talk about emptiness in it a bit and not knowing what to do)
or maybe: Slipped Resistance (Seems like they have been fighting some kind of feeling away and they are now losing that fight, ok that title is a little lame, just trying to help brainstorm haha).

Titles are one of the things that captivate me right away.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Here's one I wrote I think last year.

I’d Never Let it Go

There’s a secret you should know
But it’s a secret I can’t let go
To face the ugly truth would destroy my soul
And though it’s tearing me apart
I’ve stitched it tightly closed
It’s become a stress in my heart
I wish it to be exposed
But to reveal the evil in my head
Would be to take your breath
And leave you numb and dread
The darkness in my mind
And fear this warping path instead
So I guess you’ll never know
But be left to ponder
What my shadows truly show
Nowhere for this mind to wander
And a darkness that forever grows
No, I would never let it go

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

right a lot of these are bleak and sad and strangely enough  i came across something i wrote from the heart , two weeks after my mum died aged 65 just over 6 years ago now, sorry if it's whiny or self indulgent but i thought i'd share it with you guys and you'll be the only people who have seen it:|
               an ode for my mum

It's nearly two weeks since you've been gone
And still my heart is so forloan
I try to think of things ahead,but all that goes through my head is that you're dead
I like to think you are happy where you are, and at peace with your mum and dad
Proberly sitting and chatting about good times and bad.
But is it so?or is it just darkness, jet black,and just an intense cold nothing?
There's got to be something
Something worth all the pain and sadness we go through
If not what are we to do?
God if you exist, and i hope you do
Why all this pain and sadness you put us through?
We  are told on judgement day, we stand and are judged for the things in life we do
Who judges you?If you're there why don't you care?
Why all the cruelty to innocent people, children, tiny babies and animals? what have they done?
What is the point of it all?
But through it all i know one thing my mother could hold her head up high and stand tall.

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

Simply beautiful Wolfy and I admit a tear ran down my cheek at the fact you were willing to share. It's the little things that matter. Thank you for sharing smile

Re: Poetic Corner (for the Artist in us)

BlackTequilaKiss wrote:

Simply beautiful Wolfy and I admit a tear ran down my cheek at the fact you were willing to share. It's the little things that matter. Thank you for sharing smile

thanks btk you really are a beautiful person. i wasn't sure whether i should have put my piece on i know it's self indulgent and everyone loses loved ones and it was 6 years ago and have lost others before and since  friends as well that went long before they should. the pain and hurt never really go away but you have the memories.thanks for your comments:)