[edit- the previous spam post has been deleted. It was a bunch of nonsense.]
Oh thank you Cthulhu! It's been a week.
You have not read our Spammers Beware thread. Now you shall pay.
I was having a discussion with Lon the Loudness just a few hours ago how I was missing spammers recently. But, Mr. Ihamil47, or whatever, who really cares?, you shall feel the shank of the shaft of the bar of the rage monkey. Because you trespassed on my grounds. I eat raccoons for looking at me funny, and poop them out at swans so they may grow beautiful. I am not a vengeful monkey. I have no need for vengeance, for I am powered by by a black hole of pure darkness that will devour all dare spam in my domain.
I have hobbits that track everyone, monkeys that implant urine detectors (no, I'm not really sure what they do, but they assure me it is important), and cantaloupes that turn into penguins that sing musicals at bus drivers for some reason. What, you want something useful?
OK, I will hide hidden RC cars all over your neighbors house with your name on them, and have them shave their pets and lick their children. (Note to self, develop licking RC cars) Trees will follow you. Clouds will fill your house. Elves will giggle at you in public and make rude signs about you. I will hire an aardvark to follow you around just to spank you with hot pants all day. And hot pink hot pants at that. All your clothes will randomly turn inside out, including your shoes. Any belt will not spank itself rather than be used. Fish will fly into your TV and turn it into a volcano.
Do not trifle with the primal forces here. I am just vanguard of evil. We have a Panda that likes to oil himself and pose with Sofia Varga. We have a girl that hates dresses so much because they don't have pockets, she welded pockets to her head. My wife once cut off my head because I was snoring to loud, then used thumbtacks to put it back on (she has since apologized, saying she should have used Elmer's glue. We're cool though). My friend here rated at 137% awesomeness, mainly because he just randomly blows shit up with his dong.
We are fear. We are Legion. We are the insane and randomly stupid. Don't come back, or the most hideous horde of deformed, rabid monkeys will attack. Boxlee the Fresh is currently busy, so I asked his nephew, Chibbles the Sharp, to step in.
My blood is acid, my brain is fungus, and I never poop- I just send it to the moon. Never mind how, it hasn't been patented yet. You have been warned. I crave.
Oh, and reported. Almost forgot.
Last edited by azathoth (2012-12-17 06:22:39)