Topic: I need an honest opinion..

should I keep going or stop?

His fingers intertwine with mine as a cold wind whips around us. He looks in my eyes and licks his lips. I can feel the heat radiating off of his shirtless chest in waves warming me through my jacket. He pulls me closer; the smell of his skin is intoxicating. He takes his free hand running it through my wind blown auburn hair. He traces my jaw line, leaning down he brushes his lips down my jaw. My heart speeds up as the warmth of his breath hits my neck, the sound so loud I swear he can hear it; it always does when he touches me like this. Back up to my eyes he looks at me with such an intense longing that I lose my breath. He touches my lips with his fingers taunting me, making me want him. He runs his hand down the length of my neck making me shiver. He pushes me against a brick wall and unzip my jacket, a cold rain starts to fall hitting my bare flesh makes me catch my breath. I shiver again as he pulls me closer still against the wall. I can feel the slow rhythm of his steady heart beating silently against my breast. He runs his hands over them a sly smile spreading across his lips. I take my hand and tilt his head up until he is looking me in the eye. His breath warm against my cold skin. I lean up brushing my lips with his. I close my eyes as he kisses me back soft at first, then harder with more passion. My back pressed against the brick wall. He pulls away my eyes still closed.....
I sigh and open my eyes; I'm alone in my room, the beginning of morning shining through my window. I lean back on my pillows I can still feel his warm body pressing against mine, the taste of his lips, the scent of his skin, the way he looked at me with such longing. The only thing I don't know is his name

Doesnt have a name just something I was feeling.....  opinions?

Re: I need an honest opinion..

Um, I got nothing here.

Last edited by azathoth (2011-09-12 03:39:46)

Re: I need an honest opinion..

It’s intriguing.  I am not a romance fan so it’s not my forte. It looks like it really flowed so now form it.

P.S. AZ lied he was going to suggest you add something like this: “His lust was engorged, It pulsated beneath his jeans which were barely able to withstand the building pressure.”

Re: I need an honest opinion..

I like it.....has a sexy vamp type quality to it! Keep going! wink

Re: I need an honest opinion..

swollenguy wrote:

P.S. AZ lied he was going to suggest you add something like this: “His wonder bratwurst was engorged with the slaughtered souls of virgin unicorns. ...”

Re: I need an honest opinion..

lol well thanks guys it was just somthing I was thinking about last night I might just add it to a story I am already writing.  and maybe I will add your line az lol