Brad Pitt to retire

Los Angeles -- American actor Brad Pitt announced last night that he would no longer be acting in movies, and that he was going to be focusing the rest of his life on his family and helping the world become a better place. Pitt, who just finished his "last film" with director David Fincher entitled "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button", said that as much as he used to love acting in his earlier years, he simply can't seem to find the passion one requires to do the work these days, "I just can't keep pretending that I'm challenged by my acting roles anymore. My eyes have been opened to the world."

Pitt, very pensive, and who over the past two years has confirmed a relationship with fellow thespian Angelina Jolie, wants to focus on his growing family with Jolie -- which now includes four children -- and get into more humanitarian efforts, much like Angelina. Pitt said that he would finish up the remaining four projects to which he's already contractually obligated, including his "last movie ever" with director Marc Foster entitled "Dallas Buyer's Club", and then sell all of his belongings in Hollywood and move to a Castle in Ireland with Jolie and their children, so that they can have closer access to Africa and the other countries to which they're always traveling and buying kids.

"We've got so much money that it doesn't matter if I don't work another day in my life...", said Pitt, as he joked about how Jolie would now be the "bread earner" in the family. Referring back to one of his earlier roles in Tony Scott's "True Romance", Pitt said that he "wasn't gonna pull a Floyd" and just sit around in his dirty underwear and smoke pot all day, but did say that he had always enjoyed smoking marijuana, and that the laws in many of these other countries allowed him to smoke it, without all the hassle. He also said that most of the other countries have "better shit".

The good news for fans of the "Tomb Raider" series is that Jolie also announced that she has signed on for three more sequels to the smash videogame series, each of which will feature her in "less and less clothing". Jolie joked that by the 5th film in the series, "...we might actually turn it into an X-rated movie entitled "Boob Raider", in which different archeological nerds take turns tit-mashing me".

Pitt, who has made peace with his past, didn't seem to have any issues burning his Hollywood bridges now that he's "seen the light". Pitt confirmed that Fincher's "Fight Club" was actually a subconscious call for all men to become homosexual, and that he once slept with Tom Cruise and Antonio Banderas, but that "we only kissed and shit". He also confirmed that "Bruce Willis knows how to party" and that George Clooney, well...nothing bad to say about George Clooney, apparently he's just a class act, all around