Re: campfire tale

And then Az dove to tackle Walter and completely missed, falling down a 1,000 foot ravine yelling, "No, my bananas!"

Sorry, you guys have got this going on, all I could think of was some (really sad and lame) comedy. 

Pleae continue, for your skills have outweighed mine, and I'm likey the storey!

Re: campfire tale

Thanks my monkey friend.

Walter suddenly feels he’s had enough window time for one day. He’s getting hungry so he goes to raid the fridge. He finds his mom leaning against the counter on the phone. He can tell it’s a one sided conversation, because of that and the nasally almost rhythmic babble coming from the headset, it had to be Janice. It made sense, if there was anything new or you wanted to know about the goings on in the neighborhood: you called Janice. Walter started digging around in the refrigerator.  "Hold on Janice" his mom said pulling the phone from her ear "hey don’t spoil your appetite, I am about to start dinner.  Hey Janice I need to get busy I’ll call you tomorrow, yeah, thanks bye."

"So you know Janice she saw the moving truck and had to go over and introduce herself to our new neighbor today."  His mom says while walking over and pulling some cans out of the cupboard." Do they have any kids?" Walter asks with mild hope. "Sorry hunny I guess there’s no they, it’s just him. He’s single, Janice liked that, he moved here for business. He says he’s in acquisitions not sure what that means. She said he’s a real gentleman and good looking too." "Well I saw him out by the fence and I think he’s creepy."  Walter says while grabbing a string cheese and shutting the fridge.  "You think everyone’s creepy. Anyhow she said his name’s Mr. Morningstar." "Sounds Indian" Walter says. "No, you know Janice, She likes to know where peoples families are from, he was vague said it’s from the old country and it’s an English translation. She thinks he looks Italian." " Anyway Get the table set, I’ll be done in five minutes" his mom says. "It’s only the two of us why can’t we eat in the living room and watch TV." Walter protests. "I don’t care if it’s just the two of us we’re sitting at the table like a family; now go set the table there will be plenty of time for TV after we eat."

After supper, a shower, and TV, Walter went to bed early in hopes the weather would be better the next day and he could go have some fun outside. But the next day wouldn’t come easy because that night he had bad dreams…..

Last edited by swollenguy (2010-03-10 23:14:51)

Re: campfire tale

Swollen, you ever consider looking to send your stuff to some smaller things to be published or semi-published?

This may or may not be right for you or interest you, and it's only online (though I think you can buy a printed version, maybe), but it's done by a fairly respectable group of sites.  There is also RogueCinema.     Even if just to get some feedback from lesser 'publication' places.  I think you have some talent going on there.

Re: campfire tale

And 2 seconds later I just combined this thread, the story thread from a while back, and BTK's contest thread into one frightfully awesome/stupid idea-

A lot of us like to write, not only reviews but original stuff.  What would a small internet book consisting of a bunch of our different stories look like?  Yeah, yeah, logistics and editing and blah blah, but I'm not talking about publishing.  Just a small thing for anyone who was interested to submit stuff, and get included or get positive feedback (MUST be positive) so we could do our own little thing?

Wouldn't have to have any hard deadlines (of course everything has to have some type of deadline), but just a fun thing mostly for us to do?  If we could convince some of our artists to do some pics, we could have a little cool.. whatever you want to call it.

I know this will go nowhere, but it bonked me in the head and I wanted to toss it out there with the rest of my crazy shiite!

Re: campfire tale

azathoth wrote:

Swollen, you ever consider looking to send your stuff to some smaller things to be published or semi-published?

This may or may not be right for you or interest you, and it's only online (though I think you can buy a printed version, maybe), but it's done by a fairly respectable group of sites.  There is also RogueCinema.     Even if just to get some feedback from lesser 'publication' places.  I think you have some talent going on there.

Thanks I’ll check it out.

Re: campfire tale

azathoth wrote:

And 2 seconds later I just combined this thread, the story thread from a while back, and BTK's contest thread into one frightfully awesome/stupid idea-

A lot of us like to write, not only reviews but original stuff.  What would a small internet book consisting of a bunch of our different stories look like?  Yeah, yeah, logistics and editing and blah blah, but I'm not talking about publishing.  Just a small thing for anyone who was interested to submit stuff, and get included or get positive feedback (MUST be positive) so we could do our own little thing?

Wouldn't have to have any hard deadlines (of course everything has to have some type of deadline), but just a fun thing mostly for us to do?  If we could convince some of our artists to do some pics, we could have a little cool.. whatever you want to call it.

I know this will go nowhere, but it bonked me in the head and I wanted to toss it out there with the rest of my crazy shiite!

I think you might be on to something
Only suggestion might have to have some sort of dead line.
I myself am a pro procrastinator I will seek help for it one of these days but not today.

Last edited by swollenguy (2010-03-10 23:36:08)

Re: campfire tale

Of course there would have to be some deadline, but at the beginning of this thing it would be better to let people drift in rather than "NOW NOW NOW".  If it ever did get going, it would tighten up.  Of course, there is no downside if anyone missed it, because no one is getting paid!  It's only up to their own determination to do it.

This is something I'd might, emphasis on might, like to take on if I had some backers that were also serious.  If some of the writers on here that spend a lot of time on here could combine some of their time with mine, I think we could put out something decent.  The problem is that things like these start strong and erode quickly.  I've been there before, and we're only talking totally amateur stuff.  People have lives, paying jobs, other interests.  So do I, so I completely understand how it's so hard produce a product (stupid MBA speak). 

It's just one of those fun ideas that I toss around.  But if anyone is actually interested... I dunno, speak up or someting?  (Do you not like my firm, authoratative manner I posses?  Another reason why I'm only a so-so manager- I like people too much)

Re: campfire tale

Walter woke up that morning in a cold sweat. Images from the nightmare burned into his head. Visions of blood , an altar, and weird chanting.  And Mr Morningstar... He was in his dream !!  Walter had a headache and tried to remember exaclty what happened in the dream, but the more he tried to concentrate about what happened , the more his head hurt..  He looked at his arm. He had a long scratch or cut ,that was already scabbing up. He looked at his bed and nightstand to see what he could have cut it on. Nothing that he could see. He couldnt show his mother or tell her about the dream. She'd blame his horror movies and want to get rid of them. He walked downstairs for breakfast. His mother was just hanging up the phone " Oh sure I'll send him over today"  Walter didnt like the sound of that. His mother was obviously sending him over to one of her  friends house again to do some chore like mow their lawn.   She turned to kiss him and  served him breakfast..  " Mr Morningstar needs help unpacking. I told him you'd go over today "

Re: campfire tale

azathoth wrote:

Of course there would have to be some deadline, but at the beginning of this thing it would be better to let people drift in rather than "NOW NOW NOW".  If it ever did get going, it would tighten up.  Of course, there is no downside if anyone missed it, because no one is getting paid!  It's only up to their own determination to do it.

This is something I'd might, emphasis on might, like to take on if I had some backers that were also serious.  If some of the writers on here that spend a lot of time on here could combine some of their time with mine, I think we could put out something decent.  The problem is that things like these start strong and erode quickly.  I've been there before, and we're only talking totally amateur stuff.  People have lives, paying jobs, other interests.  So do I, so I completely understand how it's so hard produce a product (stupid MBA speak). 

It's just one of those fun ideas that I toss around.  But if anyone is actually interested... I dunno, speak up or someting?  (Do you not like my firm, authoratative manner I posses?  Another reason why I'm only a so-so manager- I like people too much)

I'd love to do it and it sounds like a good idea, if time permitted, it could gain a relatively good audience. The only problem in my camp right now is we're moving next week, we still have to figure out the net system in the towerblock and how it runs so it might take some time for me to get back online if at all. < Yes you heard me right. But it shouldn't be an issue, just going to take a little time and I'd like to see it, if it does happen, staying in a loop on board. Perhaps a sticky to ensure it doesn't disappear among the rabble. But I'm on board to put it in a nutshell tongue

Re: campfire tale

Walter’s face was panic stricken. This wasn’t like his mom, she didn’t want him talking to strangers let alone going over to their house by himself.  "Are you crazy, I’m not going over to that creeps house!" Walter says almost yelling. "He’s not a creep, he is actually a very nice man. He came over and introduced himself this morning. He even brought me my favorite coffee from Joana’s bakery and some scones, I couldn’t believe it because I had been craving both all morning. When we were sitting at the table having coffee I told him what a weird.." "wait you let him in our house!" walter interrupts. He didn’t know what made him feel worse: having to go over there or that the creep had been let in the house while Walter slept.  "Listen don’t be a shit about this! He’s a nice man and needs help. You should be grateful he’s offered to pay you." His mother replies at first visibly angry. Walter was stunned she’s never spoken to him like that and she was acting really weird. "Fine I got to finish getting dressed" he says while stomping back to his room.

Walter was almost queasy when he went to the door. He lifted his fist to the door but before he could muster the will to knock the door swung open. "Well hello Walter, thanks for coming." Mr. Morningstar was tall and thin man; he was wearing a black suit and had olive skin. His face had sharp features and a thin goatee, his eyes seemed almost black. Walter was so nervous he hadn’t moved his out stretched arm. Mr. Morningstar grabbed it gently but firm by the wrist, "oh it looks like you hurt yourself." Walter jerked his hand back "yeah I hurt it climbing a tree." Walter didn’t know why he lied but then again he didn’t really know how he got it. "Well come on in its going to rain soon and I have some errands to run in town later." Walter spent the afternoon unpacking boxes and pushing furniture around. The furniture was all dark wood that reminded him of something you might see in the movies in an English lord’s house. The unpacking was mostly curious knickknacks, some of which Walter did think were pretty cool like a monkeys hand and a sword. Mr. Morningstar asked a lot of questions. Mostly things like: did he like this or that but some more personal things like it must have been hard when his dad died. Those questions made Walter uncomfortable. They were done by two, Mr. Morningstar paid him fifty bucks which was the most money Walter had ever got even from a birthday. He said it was too much his mother wouldn’t approve but Mr. Morningstar said "Don't worry. Tell her I paid you ten, I won’t tell. Oh and Walter I’ll probably need some help again soon I’ll let you know."
While Walter was walking back to his house he got the chills "eww the creep touched my arm" he thought. Then a surprise when he was looking at his arm the scab was gone and no trace of the scratch at all! weird….

Last edited by swollenguy (2010-03-11 23:32:14)

Re: campfire tale

BlackTequilaKiss wrote:
azathoth wrote:

Of course there would have to be some deadline, but at the beginning of this thing it would be better to let people drift in rather than "NOW NOW NOW".  If it ever did get going, it would tighten up.  Of course, there is no downside if anyone missed it, because no one is getting paid!  It's only up to their own determination to do it.

This is something I'd might, emphasis on might, like to take on if I had some backers that were also serious.  If some of the writers on here that spend a lot of time on here could combine some of their time with mine, I think we could put out something decent.  The problem is that things like these start strong and erode quickly.  I've been there before, and we're only talking totally amateur stuff.  People have lives, paying jobs, other interests.  So do I, so I completely understand how it's so hard produce a product (stupid MBA speak). 

It's just one of those fun ideas that I toss around.  But if anyone is actually interested... I dunno, speak up or someting?  (Do you not like my firm, authoratative manner I posses?  Another reason why I'm only a so-so manager- I like people too much)

I'd love to do it and it sounds like a good idea, if time permitted, it could gain a relatively good audience. The only problem in my camp right now is we're moving next week, we still have to figure out the net system in the towerblock and how it runs so it might take some time for me to get back online if at all. < Yes you heard me right. But it shouldn't be an issue, just going to take a little time and I'd like to see it, if it does happen, staying in a loop on board. Perhaps a sticky to ensure it doesn't disappear among the rabble. But I'm on board to put it in a nutshell tongue

Let’s work out the details then will post a thread with instructions

Re: campfire tale

His mother was waiting for him at the front door. She still looked weird, almost as if in a daze...  She opened the screen door without glancing at him. Her eyes were fixed on the neighbors house. "Im done Mom, whats for dinner "  walter said, but it was as if she didnt hear him. He looked over at the what she was staring at. Mr Morningstar was on his porch staring back at her. She slowly nodded and then seemingly came to life. "Walter !  you must be tired ! I know you must have done a great job over there ! Let me make your favorite dinner. Go wash up and I'll call you when its ready" She smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen . It made him uneasy. "uh..ok Mom ..whatever. "

Re: campfire tale

That night at dinner Walter thought his mom acted super strange. She catered to his every whim. He reached across the table for the salt and she almost knocked her own glass over to get it for him in a frantic gesture. She promised to take him to the mall the next day so he could get a new video game, he hadn’t even asked. When asked what was going on, she said nothing. She would simply say "cant a mom show her son she loves him."

Before bed he went for a snack. The whole house was dark and he thought his mom had gone to sleep but on the way to the kitchen he saw her. She was sitting at the table in the dark. The nightlight she kept in the kitchen illuminated a bottle of wine. She had quit drinking before he was born and was very proud of it. she explained it to him simple: that some people can drink, some cant, and she couldn’t. He decided to forget about his snack and go back to his room before she saw him. He couldn’t take any more weirdness. Before bed he did something he hadn’t done since his dad was dying: He got down on his knees clasped his hands and prayed. He prayed for better weather, for a good night sleep with no bad dreams, and for his mom to be ok.

He dreamt of his dad that night. He was in the hospital room he knew all too well. His dad wasn’t in a comma though, he was sitting up with his back to him. Walter was excited and ran to talk with him. When he made it to the other side of the bed he saw his dad had his hands clasped around his face and eyes were filled with tears. He asked "daddy what’s wrong?" His dad slowly moved his hands down his face. To Walters horror his fathers mouth had been sown shut. Walter yells "daddy what did they do!" His Dad puts a finger to his mouth gesturing for Walter to be quiet and pointed with the other hand to the bedside table. Walter went over and opened the drawer. A bit confused "It’s just a bible dad." His dad waves him to bring it over. Walter hands it to his dad who flips through it and points to a page. Walter looks to see what he’s pointing at, it says "Isaiah 14:3-20." He tries to read more but a  nurse comes in, he cant see her face just shadow. She screams at him "visiting hours are over!" Walter wakes up with a jump there’s siren outside.

He runs to the living room to see what’s going on. His mom is in her pj’s looking out the front window. It is still very early but the suns out. "What’s going on?" he asks. His mom turns around, she doesn’t seem as batty as the day before but a bit worn and tired. She puts her hand around him and pulls him next to her "it’s old man Jenkins from across the street, he took his own life last night." Walter didn’t know what to  say, he hadn’t known him well and didn’t know how he should feel either.

Later that day he decided to get on the internet and Google what was burned in his mind "Isaiah 14:3-20." some bible stuff came up, passages he didn’t know what to make of. then he clicked on one marked passage English standard ver. What he read didn’t make sense until halfway down, then part of the passage gave him chills: "How art thou fallen from heaven, O star of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!" Star of the morning, Morningstar! but what did it mean. He thought for second then decided to try wikipedia and typed the name. A list came up of articles: under science one for the planet Venus, under people one for a chef, then under religion "Morning star: a name for Lucifer." His heart felt like it stopped in his chest. He went to click on the article when the door slams open. "Walter what the hell are you doing!" his mom screams….

Last edited by swollenguy (2010-03-12 01:59:29)

Re: campfire tale

"Nothing Mom"  He didn't know why but he turned off his computer monitor as quick as he could.  She seemed to calm down . She composed herself " Oh, well arent you supposed to be going into town with Mr Morningstar in an hour ? "  He sighed and told her he would be ready..  When she left he turned the computer monitor back on.  LUCIFER.  the word seemed to stand out and shout at him.  what was going on.?
Walter walked downstairs. For some reason he placed his dad's pocket bible in his back pocket . It made him feel safer.  Mr Morningstar was in the living room with his mother. They were whispering. He stood up when he saw Walter.  He smiled . "Walter ! are you ready to go into town with me today ? "  He put his hand on Walter's shoulder and suddenly flinched as if burned. He looked down at Walter with a look of  disgust and maybe a bit a fear ???   His mother got up and rushed to his side. "Mr  Morningstar ! whats wrong ?? Are you alright ? "  He did look a little sick.  and it made Walter feel great .  Mr Morningstar excused himself and went home. Saying he must be coming down with something. His mother tried to follow him but he told her he would be fine. She looked awfully worried .
In about an hour Walter heard him get into his car. Not knowing why, Walter decided to go check out his house. He knew where Eric's mom had hidden the spare key. He had used it over the summer to check out the empty house.

Re: campfire tale

He told his Mom since he wasn’t needed and the weather was better he was going for a bike ride. She said that was fine but not to go far Mr. Morning star might still need him today. His mom had dark circles around her eyes and was back to behaving very weird.

Walter hid his bike in the bushes around the far side of Morningstar’s house.  He hopped the fence and found the Key right where it he had left it last. Inside the house was musty everything looked the same but there was a smell in the air. The smell was like rotted food; Walter also noticed lots of flies in the house. He thought maybe Morningstar had left something in the sink or trash but the sink was clear and he didn’t seen a trash can.  All the rooms looked the same as before. There were two places he hadn’t been last time the master bedroom and the basement.  In the master bedroom he found nothing but an empty room. Going to the basements door he noticed the stench got much stronger.  On opening the door he almost gagged it was so bad, the files were worse too.  The stairs led down to pitch black and the light didn’t work. He didn’t want to go down there, he was very scared but he had to find something.  He had to convince his mom this man was bad. He covered his mouth with his shirt as he started down. On about the third step he stopped, he wasn’t just getting closer to where the light ended but the darkness was coming towards him. It was almost to his foot. Part of the tread of his sneaker just touched it as he turned to go back and he could feel something tug his shoe almost making him fall. He ran up the steps. All the doors inside the house started opening and slamming. As he was running towards the back door the kitchen table moved by itself slamming and pinning Walter to the counter. Able to wiggle free he made it out the door and over the fence to his bike. Taking a moment to catch his breath he heard his mom calling "Walter, Walter, Mr. Morningstar is on the way to pick you up! you out here?"
No way he was going with him, Walter jumped on his Bike and went down the street as fast as he could he had to get to someplace where he could think….

Re: campfire tale

Walter rode his bike for a few blocks when he came to a screeching halt.  He was in front of Sacred Heart Church . His dad used to bring him here for mass. His mom was christian so she never came to this church.. He walked inside and just the scent of the incese and the candles made him feel calm and safe. He really missed his dad and tried to think of what his dad would do...He ran his hand along the wooden pew and sat down. He got down on his knees and prayed . Never had he felt so alone or so afraid.. But he  knew he had to fight . Fight for himself and most of all fight for his Mom..
. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up. It was Father Gregory. "Are you alright son ?  you look like your in the need of something. Can I help ? " he smiled kindly.  Walter looked up at him, tears running down his face.  "Father , I do need help.. can I please  have some holy water ?   I think I really need it."

Last edited by MistressOf Horror (2010-03-12 14:31:08)

Re: campfire tale

"Oh what on earth for my son." Walter through tears told of the events since his neighbor’s arrival. Father Gregory looked very concerned and suggested he come to his office. Once there he puts his hand on Walters and said in a comforting tone "everything’s going to be ok Walter. Let me get you a soda, would you like that? And when I come back we can talk some more."  The Father left for what seemed too long, Walter started to get worried again. When he came back smiling with a coke in his hand Walter sighed with relief. The priest sat behind his desk and asked Walter to tell him more about Mr. Morningstar, which Walter did while he sipped his soda. 

Walter heard a car pull into the parking lot outside. He jumped up to look out the office window, thinking Father Gregory must have called his mom. But it wasn’t his mom it was the black Mercedes.  He bounded for the door yelling at the priest "He’s here!" Father Gregory still smiling "its ok Walter sit down, everything’s going to be fine." Walter runs as fast as he can to the main doors of the church. Just as he reaches them one opens and Mr. Morningstar walks in. walter reaches in to the holy water beside the door and splashes him. "Walter, that has to be blessed by a priest with faith. This is a nice suit, you have to be more careful." he says with a smile. "What do you want with me?" Walter screams while backing away. "Don’t be so arrogant boy, trust me it’s not a virtue."  He pauses then continues "This town belongs to me with one exception, one hold out." "Well you can’t have me or my mom" Walter screams.  "Boy!" he says laughing "your mom belonged to me before you were born. Don’t you want to be with her for all eternity or do you want to waste away like your father?" "No! You’re a liar! You’re the king of liars!" Walter screams. Father Gregory grabs Walters’s arms from behind. Walter squirms and jumps, the top of his head slams into the fathers jaw; almost biting off his tongue the priest grabs his face in pain.

Running around Morningstar outside to his bike Walter rides back towards home. He has to convince his mom they have to leave. On the way home everyone’s standing in their front yard, they all look pale and sickly and call to Walter as he passes .

Last edited by swollenguy (2010-03-12 16:17:55)

Re: campfire tale

swollenguy wrote:

Let’s work out the details then will post a thread with instructions

Sound good.  Give me the weekend to to clear up some back-logged sutff (OK, maybe a week) to give some real thought to this.  I have had ideas percolating, but I'm the kind of person that lets the brain work until something kicks in.  Kind of like that story I wrote for BTK's contest.  I read the idea, and let myself ruminate for about 6 hours, and then wrote the story in 30 minutes.  That's why I could be an awful editor.

So give me a few days to think about how we could approach this, and I'll get back to you.

Re: campfire tale

Walter rides faster. The neighbors faces become a blur and they all call out.. "Waaaalter ! "  Some neighbors stand on the street but do nothing to block his way. He gets home and through the screen door he can see his mother is in the living room lighting black candles. There is a table  in the middle of the room with a black velvet cloth over it. Walter steps inside the room panting and sweating. He slams the the door shut and locks it.  "Mom ! what are you doing ?  we gotta leave. You got to believe me ! Mr Morningstar is evil ! !......  Mom ? "  His mother just smiles and says she knows about everything. " Walter trust me..  I have a surprise for you.. "
Walter feels dizzy. The priest must have drugged his soda.. everything goes black,

He awakens and he is laying on the table.  The room is filled with people in black robes. His mother is standing there holding hands with them. They chant in unison.
".... Mom.... mom..... " Walter whispers weakly.
She smiles and nods. looking at him with great pride. They part to allow Mr Morningstar in.  He approaches Walter.  He knocks over a photograph of Walter's father.  "...Dad...  " Walter whispers.
" Dad ?  " Mr Morningstar mocks him ..  " don't be absurd  "  He takes off his robe. Walter can see that he has hoofs for feet and horns on his head. And a tail !!!  Walter screams .

"Im your real Father !!  you are MY son !!  " 

Walter screams as his feet start to change...  and the horns protude from his head...

Re: campfire tale

smile best one yet

Re: campfire tale

coming from a Master at story writing I'll take that as a very generous compliment  smile

Re: campfire tale

Holy shit........ that's a world of typing you guyshttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-computer004.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy037.gif

Re: campfire tale

when you get on a roll  the typing flies by !  lol

Re: campfire tale

Heh, me and Swollen will have to recruit you if we ever try this 'zine thing.

Re: campfire tale

Inspired by ace and a local news story from a few years ago:
It was the summer before their senior year.  Todd and Bryan decided to go camping for a long four day weekend. Both were avid young outdoorsmen and wanted to go as remote as possible. They knew just the place. One of their favorite weekend spots was a campsite by a stream with great trout fishing. It was located about an hour’s hike in from an old mountain fire road. They heard stories of an abandoned mine a day’s hike farther in. It was called the blue light mine and it had abundant local lore surrounding it. Nobody they knew had actually been there and it sounded like just the adventure they were looking for. They started off on a Thursday afternoon making camp the first night at the usual spot.