Not your best, but it's not bad ethier, and i appreciate it's short which is hard to write in detail . still as always i have no problems visualising it, you always have me doing that when i read your stuff which is a sign to me of a good writer and you have dark humour.Keep it up Sam, you're good
I really like this story. my only criticism would be to add a sense of desperation to keep the business afloat and more hidden resentment between the two men that they are trying to overcome with the camping trip... but other than that I feel its a original story that you did a fantastic job on.. and dont get me wrong. I think the story works the way it is .. but if you added more to the elements I stated above I know it would really improve this good story
MOH another friend said almost the exact same thing. But one of the criteria for the contest was dark humor. So I wanted it to be a little silly so I wanted Ryan’s lack of conscious to be from his culinary obsession and not animosity. Your both right though and I definitely rushed it and could have developed the characters and ending more.