Topic: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Im always up for a good joke or prank, so let lose and tell us all your funny jokes, stories, or pranks. my told me this joke a few weeks ago

There are 3 college kids they have nothing to do, soo they decide to put something up their asses. first it was a pencil that went out no problem, the next thign was a pickle it was a little tough to get it up. the third thing was a cucumber that was tough but it went up the fourth thing was.....???? u tell me???

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Q: What do you call a lesbian eskimo?

A: A Klondyke

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Q: Why does Micheal Jackson love 28 yr. Olds?

A: B/c there's 20 of them.

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

2 blondes walking down the street one day. The one blonde says to the other:

"Hey did you see the squirrel with one eye?"

The other blonde covers her eye and says:

"Where?"

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Well this might sounds disgusting but back in highschool and college me and my buddies always did sick shit to each other.

My senior cruise in highschool my class was on a cruise ship and it was the last night heading back from the Bahamas to Miami. We were all drunk of course. One of our buddies is named Steven and he's a stocky guy but dumb as rocks.

Well while he was out still drunk somewhere on the ship me and some of my buddies took all the fruit outta the fruit basket in the cabin and squished all the apples and bananas all in his bed. So it was sticky. Then I was so drunk that I wiped my ass on his pillow and then we all turned out the lights and laid in our beds.

So he comes in stumbling and climbs up into his bunk. It's quiet and we are all not trying to snicker or laugh. Then we hear him sniffing his pillow where I had wiped my ass on lol. Then he starts chunking apples everywhere in the room and says "fuck ya'll" and then he passes out lol.:lol:

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

There was this one time when my brother had a party over here at my parents house with my parents out of town. So my brother invited a bunch of his buddies over and whenever he did, it was always a blast.

So that night, 2 of his buddies were piss drunk and knocked out cold. With one of them passed out on the couch and the other passed out on the floor of our family room.

So my brother, his buddies, and i decided to mess with the 2 passed out. So we started off with the one out cold on the couch. We first took a dog treat and put it in his mouth and then put one of those hats that has a pin-wheel on his head and took a picture of him. And then we took the dog treat out of his mouth and put some tobasco sauce on his lip and then put some shaving cream on one of his hands and swiped his nose with a feather and then he smeared it all over his face.

Now onto the next guy. While he was out cold on the floor we first took tobasco sauce and put it on his lip. Then we took his belt off and got some hockey skate laces and we hog tied him and then we started to take some gold balls and stand over him and drop them right on him. He didn't wake up. Then we took a putter and we started hitting golf balls right at his balls hard and he still didn't wake up. And then i whipped a couple golf balls right at his balls and he still never woke up. We then untied him and put him back how we found him. And to this day he still never found out what happened to him.

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Well this one time at band camp.........lol:lol:


Well after a pre wedding party a few years back in the 90's I invited everyone from the party to come to my parents house to hangout. I was about floored drunk then and had drank like 4 bottles of champange by myself and many beers. Someone around the patio said let's go skinny dipping so me being drunk as a bat I tore my clothes off as fast as I could and ran and dove into the pool butt naked. Well the water was very cold.

Nobody else jumped in. But they all surrounded the pool(about 50 people) and were laughing. And nobody would get me a towel so I had to get out of the freezing water and walk past all the girls and friends with my shrunken pecker.......he was like a turtle that night hiding.:(:lol:

Last edited by RIP (2007-07-28 18:16:21)

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

one morning in college I woke up lying in a huge pile of books... apparently the bookcase fell on me and I didn't know it... and then when I went to work, I heard I was on the police scanner b/c the officer who tried to drive me home kept having to redirect me when I went into the wrong houses.  They all looked the same!  (I couldn't read the house numbers)

I was drunk.

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

My all time fave 5 comedians are:

1. Dave Chapelle
2. Andrew "Dice" Clay
3. Chris Rock
4. Brian Regan
5. George Carlin

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

Prank:
One Halloween while in the Army, we set up our Company area as a Haunted House for the soldiers in our unit to bring their families to.  Me and a friend named Flood set up the Med Station as a mad scientist lab; I was dressed up like Claud Rains in the Invisible Man, and Flood was wearing cheap prosthetics to look like he'd been hacked up.

So, our idea was to have him on a gurney and I'd stand in front of him with my back to the door, and when you walked in all you would see is me hunched over him and it looked like I was doing surgery, but you couldn't see his "wounds."  We had one of his arms slung up and hanging from one of those overhead traction things, and taking a cue from Savini's Grande Illusions book we rigged up a trick needle so that when I touched his arm with it and pressed the plunger, it'd streak fake blood and he'd moan and groan and whatnot.  Then I'd turn towards you and Flood would sit up really fast and scream while reaching for you.  That was the idea.  Only thing was, I didn't take into consideration that with my back to the door, I wouldn't be able to see who was coming in...but I'll get to that  in a second.

So we set it up, went over the drill a few times, practiced it.  Then they tell us the first group of people are coming through.  So, I turn my back to the door, I'm all hunched over him.  We hear the door open.

I put the rigged needle against his arm and press the plunger.  Fake blood streamed out; worked like a charm.  He moaned, groaned, "Help, he's killing me!"

Then when I figure the people who just came in are close enough, I spin out of the way, Flood sits up, screams...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

That wasn't Flood; that was our Company Commander's 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.  We scared the living piss out of her.  He scooped her up, carried her out, she's screaming the whole way, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, AAAAAHHHH!"

The next day, he chewed our asses and forbade us to ever participate in the company haunted house again.

The end.

Re: What are the funniest Most outragous jokes or pranks you ever did???

We did a lot of pranks in college.  One of my favorite is go out and get a can of Barbasol shaving cream and stick it in the freezer.  The can should freeze and split open. (if it doesnt split open you will need to find a way to split it open).  Peel the can off and you should have a frozen brick of shaving cream.  Empty out someones desk drawer, microwave, dresser.....or any place you can hide it.  As the shaving cream brick thaws it expands and fills up said drawer with foam.  Good for school, work, or home!