Topic: The Wish Box.
Let me know what you think.
- Underdog
- Shoeshine Boy
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Re: The Wish Box.
Good story, swollen. It has a good flow and is quite true that most people are never truly content. Which makes it easy to relate to for your readers. I also think you did a great job on the wording being very descriptive of the characters, surroundings, and emotions.
One thing I would have liked more attention to was; "when Julie stepped into the box, did she get her wish?" I can guess what her wish was though. Best of all, IMO, was the ending!
keep up the good work and thanks for sharing!!
- wolfman1959
- He doesn't fart. He's a rocket powered sex machine
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Re: The Wish Box.
you always have a good flow to your stories Sam, and it holds you most of the way but i am the opposite to the undies doggy. i didn't like the ending much, leaves everything up in the air. just my opinion. That said you are still a talented writer.
- swollenguy
- Hider of Spam
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Re: The Wish Box.
Thanks guys!
It’s flash, so there is going to be stuff left for the imagination. I agree I should have added a little more on Julie and added some more suspense build up in the end.
- swollenguy
- Hider of Spam
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Re: The Wish Box.
Got some great feedback/posted comments today on this one.
- The Creature
- Officially a grownup doood!!
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Re: The Wish Box.
Sweet story, Swollen. I thought it was really good, though I would also like to know a little more about Julie. Anyway, good job and keep writing! 