Topic: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

So during the French class we were studying about fantasy litterature, which is filled with stuffs like Dracula (1992), Frankenstein (1994), Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise Vampire guys (1994) and lots of other sh*ts!
So the teacher said that we must invent a fantastic type short story and complete it... in 2 hours. She applauded me for the story and writing but complains about how nearly off-topic, gory and disturbing it is. lol
So I don't like stuffs that don't have any frightening description or gore in it, so I just try to write a supernatural horror story. (The order is to write something supernatural surrounding the main character(s) from the POV of the main character.)

So here it is, 40 lines A4, translated easely from French to English by me (it has some horror parodies in it and sorry if the translation is weird.):


"The story which you're about to read, was told by my point-of-view. In Clearance (Christine)'s Apartment Renting, where resides my family and me:

- Damien (The Omen Trilogy) Cunnigham (Christine): 14 years-old, a 9th grader.
- My cute little 8 year-old sister Carol-Anne (Poltergeist).
- My parents: Nathan (name of one of my sister's friend) and Sophie (the name of my crush).

The event which happenned inside our apartment might be the most shocking and most frightening thing I ever met:

Everything starts at around 7:00 P.M., when we were having diner as usual, Carol-Anne do what she does at table everytime: Playing with her food.
While my parents eat slides of eggplants. My mom was telling me to eat eggplants, but I don't like eggplants, I despise them, so I just ignore momma's words and dig in to my steak because in about twenty seconds she will stop anyway, and she did.
After a moment of total silent (well, there's the sound of us eating and my little sister playing with her food.) the bowls, ustensils, pots and etc... starts to flow in the horizon.
Me and my parents, shocked, shaken and above all, completely frightened by the happening in the the room, all stand away from the table except for Carol-Anne who, observe with a worshiping look at the massive pile of "gore" formed by foods we were eating that you can only see in either Sam Raimi or Peter Jackson's movies.
It was incredible! All the dangerous ustensils hovering all around the air! Mom and Dad tried to avoid the "storm of foods" but unfortunately, a steak knife throw itself directly and penetrate through my mom's eyes, sending her head violently on to the boiling soup pot which, jumped "at the speed of light", to my dad's face, obvioubsly destroying his skull and caused an explosion, a rain, a shower of blood into the still shocked-faced Carol-Anne and my face while I scream for The God.
I ran to my little sister and grab her to run for the fornt door and told her to run, she walks slowly outside of the apartment, still with the haunting look on her face. Seeing that Carol-Anne is now safe, I turn back to observe the so called "kitchen-carnage", to observe the terrifying scenery in the dining room:
A dozen of uniquely shaped shadows seemingly "look" at me, surrounding the pile of foods and the corpses of my Mom and Dad. I hear them! I hear them! I hear them saying:

"Join Us! Join Us! Join Us!"

I hurriedly answer to the voices of The Shadows;

"No! No! No! No! No! No! And NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

and ran to the front door to finally get out of that F*CKING APARTMENT!"

That's it, I hope you enjoy reading it. I'm only an 8th graders so my vocabulary ain't much. Also I'm Vietnamese so tongue

Last edited by A Lost Boy (2012-11-09 10:09:00)

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

No one pay attention to my story then sad

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

It was an interesting read.  Nice job.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^ For me it seems like a Poltergeist Evil Dead-ish rip-off lol

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^
Don't forget you are about 10 hours ahead of most of the members here, time wise.

For 2 hours, darn good.  Every writer I know, including myself, goes through about 3 revisions before they even get remotely happy with what they wrote.  So, nice work.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^ And that was my translation.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^
It was a good enough translation that I understood what was going on.  It wasn't like you wrote "And the monkey oils flatulence besmirch the Ozmonium works with a confluence of aardvark feathers."
(Hmm, I gonna steal that last line for my next spammer beat down.)

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^ Doesn't understand most words except for the basic words and "monkey">

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

I thought it was a fun read. Good story.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

Nice job and thanks for sharing.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

A Lost Boy wrote:

^^ Doesn't understand most words except for the basic words and "monkey">

That's what happens when I start making things up, big_smile .

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

I had a dream just then that I was forced to write ANOTHER story. Must be to excited that it was my first horror story.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

I think dubbing this story the name "Supernatural" would be alright guys?

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^
Just as long you don't have characters named Sam or Dean in it.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

Also end it with rape. It helps with the story/plot.

This is real feedback

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

With rape and no Sam or Dean!?

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^
I'm hoping Tripod was joking about the rape thing.
Sam and Dean are the main characters from the TV show "Supernatural," so you could be look at copyright infringement and/or confusing the reader.

Re: A short supernatural-intended/horror story written in school.

^^ Oh....