Movie Ideas So Bad They're Good

1. A boy drowns in a lake.  Then somehow sees his mother decapitated, despite being dead for over fifteen years.  Then he goes on a murder rampage in a summer camp.

2. A serial killer takes victims according to the seven deadly sins.  Then he cops out in the end and lets himself get killed to prove a point, while the cop who shot him will likely only get a slap on the wrist.

3. A shark terrorizes a beach community, and someone has the nerve to call it a horror film.

4.  A guy in a Cherub mask kills people in excruciatingly un-scary ways as revenge for folks making fun of him as a kid.

5. Two college-aged homophobes and an obnoxious Swede fall victim to a murder-for-profit racket in Romania, all the while pretending to be a social statement about how uncivilized the world is outside of the United States.

Oh, wait.  These movies have already been made...

Hostel.

Hostel was awesome. I gave it a 7.2

^^I'm one of the few people who love it then.

Okay, before I even begin here's a disclaimer, any moderator may delete this as and when they see fit but this is a concept I've been tinkering with for the last couple of minutes haha! I'll try to keep my explicit language down but it'll be hard (no pun intended) once you read the synopsis...

Okay, here goes:
A man who works in a nuclear power plant goes for a piss in the works gents bog but, wouldn't you just know it, the plumbers who had been called in that morning to unblock the loo had made a grave mistake and accidentally plumbed the toxic waste pipe to the gutter pipe, it all gets mixed up and the residual radioactive liquid suddenly spurts up his Japs eye and settles in his balls. He passes out and twenty or so minutes pass as we watch his recovery and the subsequent medical appointments during which we learn that his splooge is now dangerously corrosive. Are you still following? Then I'll continue...

He has sex with his wife but when he comes he comes acid and it melts her vagina, causing her to scream in excrutiating agony. He panicks, smothers her to death with the pillow and considers his next move...

Cue loads of stupid Troma-esque prostitute montages as he hones his, er, 'skill' and dissolves loads of streetwalkers fannies until he has an epiphany...

Dum dum dum...

He decides to go out in a blaze of glory (oh yeah, I forgot, the cops are onto him as he left loads of sperm samples haha) but yeah, he books into an exclusive orgy where he ingratiates himself with the madame and the participants. They all have a few drinks and start getting down to business.. You know. Now here comes the Grand Guignol finale as my man stands up, spins around whilst pulling his pud and showers the orgy members in a wretched precipitation of acid cum rain which melts them all and makes them resemble plasticine figures with all steam coming off them. See, the ending could be construed as an ecological warning about the effects of chemical culture and jiz in general. My disgraceful torture porn opus contains an environmental message amid the vagina melting.

Now, is anyone out there willing to partner up and put some money down for this film idea?

It could be mega, I mean, if Teeth was about a chomping vag then acidic cum should make just as much bank.

i'm thinking of calling it 'The Cum Gun' and incorporating a gunshot sound effect every time our protagonist pops one out.

Also, perhaps we could take the 3D experience to a whole new level by fitting the backs of the cinema seats with hydrolic liquid pumps that squirt acid into the audience's faces everytime the killer pops out a money shot? That would take the interactive movie-going experience to the next level.

Now, who's up for this brave new format of film making???

And, like I said, just delete this if it's too mental haha!!!

Mental indeed. But yeah good ideas in this. I like the new 3D thing with the seats and well to be honest I really like the concept. I'm up for it, yes.

Have written something pretty damn Horror XXX rated over 40.
Think razor blades and torture sex.
But I won't put it here. The kids aren't sleeping yet.

So bad they're good???
I guess I won't put sparkling Vampires in here then.

But a tire that kills while people are watching him on a hill in some desert town where the law is maintained by stupid cops.
Then a badass chick comes in to try to stop it and help the cops.
So bad but OH SO brilliant.

Last edited by kXnPunk (2012-12-07 15:45:38)

Yeah, I've seen Chillerama, my concept would have fitted nicely as a bonus tale into that one.

But my upcoming Cum Gun opus requires the full ninety minute treatment to do it justice.

Ah, go on Ghosty, I'll guarantee you ten percent of the overall sales if you invest half a mil...

Spielberg has expressed an interest, Raimi is undecided and Craven is biting me hand off for the rights...
Universal and Dreamworks have both given me the green light and Carpenter's people have been in touch with my people with an interest to produce it already.

Cumon Ghosty, you know it makes sense - just wire me half a mil and you'll get 10 % of the box office takings...