Topic: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

I thought it would be fun to quote our favorite horror movies by memory only! Don't look it up! Haha. The first member that names the movie wins? Anyway, I can think of so many but to start I'll make it easy...

"She's crazy there's no fog bank out there, (fog bank out there)... HEY, there's a fog bank out there!

My favorite!

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

"I kick arse for the lord!"

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

"He's got an arm off!!!!!"

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Ash: "I'm fine"
Mirror Ash: "I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"? "

(Personally, retroactively I might find that fine...  lol )

Last edited by azathoth (2013-01-18 10:17:25)

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

^^^go get em Azz^^^


I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of bubble gum!

Last edited by DirtyGirl (2013-01-21 21:41:56)

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Karl The Butcher " Axe i am not your father, i am your mother
Axe...Long drawn out No!

Last edited by hostel2006 (2013-01-21 21:52:55)

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

The Shining
Jack- "Wendy, darling, light of my life, I'm not gonna hurt you"

" You didn't let me finish my sentence. I'm not gonna hurt you,......I'm just gonna bash your brains in,..... I'm gonna bash em right the fuck in!"

Last edited by DanielTempest (2013-01-23 06:47:28)

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Stanely (1972)

Drunk Guy At Stripclub Bar- "Those aren't re-real snakes...... I've (burp) seen real sn-snakes before."

Anyone remember this film? I saw it on TV when I was about 7 and have always quoted that line. I know, I'm strange.

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Here are some more that I think are classic from The Shining. I had to cheat and look these quotes up but to me are classic in how Jack Nicholson delivers them. I can't help but to chuckle to myself.

Wendy: Get a lot written today? Jack: Yes. Wendy: Hey! Weather forecast said it's gonna snow tonight! Jack: What do you want me to do about it? Wendy: Aw, come on, hun. Don't be so grouchy. Jack: I'm not being grouchy. I just want to finish my work. Wendy: Okay, I understand. I'll come back later on with a couple of sandwiches for ya, and maybe you'll let me read something then. Jack: Wendy, let me explain something to you. Whenever you come in here and interrupt me, you're breaking my concentration. You're distracting me! [he hits his head with the palm of his hand, rips up his manuscript, and throws it onto the floor] And it will then take me time to get back to where I was! Understand?! Wendy: Yeah. Jack: Fine. I'm gonna make a new rule: whenever I'm in here, and you hear me typing,[presses down hard on random keys] whether you don't hear me typing, whatever the fuck you hear me doing in here, when I'm in here, that means that I am working. That means don't come in. Now, do you think you can handle that? Wendy: Yeah. Jack: Fine. Why don't you start right now and get the fuck outta here, hm? Wendy: Okay.

And here's my favorite scene. Many great lines here...

Jack Torrance: [Disappointed at finding the bar empty] I'd sell my goddamn soul, for a glass of beer.
[coveres his face with eyes, sighs, then uncovers face again, sees Lloyd]
Jack Torrance: Hi, Lloyd. A little slow tonight, isn't it?
[laughs manically]
Jack Torrance: .
Lloyd: Yes, it is, Mr. Torrance
[walks toward Jack]
Lloyd: What will it be?
Jack Torrance: I'm awfully glad you asked me that, Lloyd. Because I just happen to have to twentys and two tens right here in my wallet. And I was afraif there were gonna be there until net April. So, here's what: You slip me a bottle of bourbon, a cool glass and some ice. You can do that, can't you, Lloyd? You're not too busy, are you
[laughs sarcastically]
Lloyd: No, sir. Not busy, at all.
Jack Torrance: Good man. You set them up, and I'll knock 'em back, Lloyd; one by one.
[Lloyd prepares the first drink]
Jack Torrance: White man's burden, Lloyd, my man, white man's burden.
[Jack checks his wallte, finds it empty, somewhat emberassed]
Jack Torrance: Say, Lloyd. It seems I'm temporarily light. How's my credit in this joint, anyway?
Lloyd: Your credit is fine, Mr. Torrance.
Jack Torrance: That's swell. I like you, Lloyd. I always liked you. Yor were always the best of 'em. Best goddamn bartender from Tibuktu to Portland / Maine. Or Portland / Oregon, for that matter
Lloyd: Thank you for saying so.
Jack Torrance: [staring at the drink in his hand] Here's to five miserable months on the wagon, and all the irreperable harm that it's caused me.
[drinks it]
Lloyd: How are things going, Mr. Torrance?
Jack Torrance: Things could be better, Lloyd. Things could be a whole lot better.
Lloyd: I hope it's nothing serious.
Jack Torrance: No.
[tapps on the bar, signalizing, he wants another drink]
Jack Torrance: Nothing serious. Just a little problem with the old sperm-bank upstairs. Nothing I can't handle though, Lloyd. Right?
Lloyd: Women: Can't live with them - can't live without them.
Jack Torrance: Words of wisdom, Lloyd, words of wisdom.
[nips on his second glass]
Jack Torrance: I never laid a hand on him, goddamn it. I didn't. I wouldn't touch one hair on his little goddamn little head. I love the little son of a bitch. I'd do anything for him, any fucking thing for him. But that bitch. As long as I live, she'll never let me forget what happend.
[overcomes himself, almost apologetic]
Jack Torrance: I did hurt him once, okay? It was an accident. Completely unintentional. Could have happened to anybody.
[starting to get somewhat mad]
Jack Torrance: And it was three goddamn years ago. Little fucker had thrown all my papers all over the floor, all I tried to do, was pull him up.
[calming down]
Jack Torrance: A momentary loss of muscular coordination. A few extra footpounds of energy per second, per second.
[signalizes that Danny's arm was broken]

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

They Live (1988) I LOVE this movie and that's a great quote DirtyGirl!

DirtyGirl wrote:

^^^go get em Azz^^^


I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of bubble gum!

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

The Shining is one of my favorite films! The scene in the mens bathroom is chilling.

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

"I'll swallow your soul, I'll swallow your soul, I'll..."
"Swallow this."
<boomstick>

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

Oh, my...I do believe that's the first time I've ever seen Mary drop an F-bomb.  Kinda hot. tongue

"He's a wife-beater, Dan.  Use the gun!"

"Be brave, Frank, god damn it!"

"What a set of knockers!  If only I had my schlong back, you'd know the meaning of 'machismo'!"

"Get that damn screwdriver out of my head!"

"I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of the winter tied to this fucking couch!"

"First you wanna kill me; now you wanna kiss me.  Blow."

Last edited by LoudLon (2013-01-23 21:18:50)

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

"It looks like something that fell of my dick during the war" - Slither

"He was as worthless as a pecker on the pope" - Planet Terror

"Oh thats just what we call pillow talk baby, thats all."

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

"You have perfect nipple placement' and "Your tits are stupendous" all from Friday the 13th remake.  Make me laugh so hard each time

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

LoudLon wrote:

Oh, my...I do believe that's the first time I've ever seen Mary drop an F-bomb.

I had left this page open after my post and came back a while later.  I hit the browser's Refresh button, DG's post comes up, and I thought to myself for a few seconds, "What the hell did I do?!" because I forgot what thread I was on.  lol

Re: Best Funny Horror Movie Quotes

getken wrote:

The Shining is one of my favorite films! The scene in the mens bathroom is chilling.

Agreed.   One of the best scenes of the movie.



Mike: "Reg... You ain't dead."
Reggie: "No, and I ain't three foot two yet either."

           - Phantasm