Damn, I'm pissed. I don't care what the credits say, but this was a Tarantino movie. Screw RZA (yay, a singer) and Eli Roth (don't get me started). Funky music, blood sprays, stupid fight choreography, etc.
Oh, the movie was THe Man With the Iron Fists.
Everything from now on is **Spoilers** And if you like the movie, don't read them.
How many things could he/they rip off? Steal gold- check. Clans fight- check. Superdude (bronze/brass man)- check. Then we get into the whole monk redemption thing that allows him to fuse an iron dick onto his Johnson. And for shit's sake, iron is abour 5X harder that either bronze or brass (yeah, I don't give an f' anymore). And they mad the Iron Man (the new one) noise every time Iron Fist hit BronzeOid DickWad? And what the hell was up with that- ah, some super dude/witch/sorcerer can give you a bronze cock?
The Gemini fight scene- reverse of Kill Bill 2's The Funky 40 fight scene. The whore fight is the same as the school girl fight. The FUCKING mirrored wall scene?!?!? That's not an homage, that's straight up fucking Bruce Lee with a Rotor-Rooter!
Every thing was laid out piece by piece. Bad guys show up, take over town. Ambush good guys. Supersecret bad guy has to be dispatched by supersecret good guy. They invoke animal styles by dialogue, and then totally ignore said styles? Why not just say, "I'm Bruce Lee style," and then have him hump a vat of butter!?
This was a freaking mess. At first, I said OK, a bit rough, but let's see what happens. By the end, the only reason I didn't turn it off was pure evil rage at such a fucked up piece of cow turn pie this turned into. I could even enjoy the fight scenes due to the shitty fight choreograpy, stupid weapons (I have 10 chest mounted auto-daggers), and fuck-all for making sense.
** End Spoilers **
Such a waste of my time. If you liked it, good for you, I am glad you enjoyed your time.
But for me, I am rating this
edit- for some reason, I think Lon is going to disagree with me on this one.
Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-22 12:40:32)