[edit- reported]
[edit 2- who the fuck do you think we are that we allow free advertising?  Go talk to the boss and pay him some money, fucklecharts!]

JbelnapTO wrote:

A Short Film I DOP'd and Produced, We just Premiered it on the 1st, thought id throw it on to some forums, get some feedback...... Enjoy

I'm this stupid to try this.

I'm just wondering what random god you ticked off to find me in a bad mood.  Go to our Spammers Beware thread.  Then come back and beg for me not to have Big George decapitate you with his pogo-stick claymore sword.

Ya know, I'm the happy, funny guy here.  I put up pictures of unicorns farting rainbows that rain down on Riverdancing monkeys while buxom cheerleaders go wild.  Today, not so much.  Today, I'm depressed because I had to sell 4 vital organs so I don't go bankrupt tomorrow.  You have any idea how my prostate follicles feel?  No, you don't, because prostates don't have follicles.  But banjos have May Poles.  You figure that one out, smart guy.

I'm so angry right now that I already destroyed Ziggy (sorry, buddy), put him pack together, threw him into a nuclear furnace, and reconstituted his atoms by the shear willpower of my angry colon. 

And you then disgrace your "I'm going to just spew whatever to wherever to get feedback."
Here's what I think of whatever you this waste of my precious time.

You have no backstory, no plot per se, acting is shit, FX is (oh fuck that noise); I just want Cthulhu to crotch-punch you.  Your entire premise was that this was to be a "shocking idea."  Mr. JBelpNapIckFart-pee-poops-a-lot: It's been done a zillion times before!  I actually spent time watching this.  I'm going to send over my panda tanks (thanks Mr. Black) to drag you over here and watch me re-enact every Shakespeare play with candles.  Not shaped candles, just normal lit candles that I will have Victoria Secret models drip onto their bodies as you watch and 18 types of bears sit on your face.

Why do people have to be so stupid?  This is monkey disapproved.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-04 18:08:34)


hunter4 wrote:

Get the latest movie trailer, movie review, movie news,Most Popular Movie Websites and movie analysis updates.
Me licking my balls.

Do you have any idea WHO YOU ARE FUCKING WITH!

edit- reported.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-04 14:59:10)


Heheh, I spotted this wanker about half an hour ago Az! big_smile … 05#p642105


I always check to see how many posts these fools put up, then just pick one to slam.  Here we have a 2-fer of spam-ass-spankings.

You should go back and edit your post to put in some YouTube video of a guy humping a tree or something.  Nothing graphic, just moronic.  Adds the spicy flavor, big_smile .


When theirs a spammer on HM, who ya gonna call? AZATHOTH! ~cue funky 80s music~


I will super destruct them all!.  Take it, you bitches!  big_smile


LOL! It's taken me about 2 thousand posts but I think I'm finally getting the hang of this site now!! lol


You can't stop HM.  You can only contain it... for a little while.


I didn't choose HM.
HM chose me. cool


Because HM is the hero Gotham City deserves, but not the one it needs. And I will hunt those spammers, because they can take it, because theirs a silent guardian, a watchful protector..a Dark Knight.


Monkey has always been one of my favorite words.


Fulcento wrote:

LOL! It's taken me about 2 thousand posts but I think I'm finally getting the hang of this site now!! lol

About damn time. lol


Ah, another company trying to get free advertising for one of their movies.

How nice.  However, we don't give away free advertising here.  (When will they learn?)  We have an anti-Spamming policy here.   Which you violated by putting up a link to one of your movies.

[edit- you realize that you opened yourself up to a wealth of negative comments on that YT vid, yes?  Not that I would advocate spamming someone else's work.  Irony, you cruel mistress.]

Normally at this point, I'd go into a mad tirade involving spider-turtles invading Uranus, or have the Panda Tank Division fire bamboo at you, or have one of insane monkeys damage your toilets.

But you messed up my Friday's reading, so I'll let you deal with Albert, the uni-porcu-sharkaroo -


me is glad to be one of the first well early member here... hey I even got the privalige of getting banned from here and got back to my fav horror movie foum

I always feel like im om the verge of getting banned lots of time I com here, Its weird I know since there isnt any reason or wryme, just like az floats thru his munky dream my dream is alive with pulsing throbs, um oh



You have violated the Spammers Beware rules.  Prepare to face your destiny.

You personally have offended my monkeys, causing them to go berserk.  Not like in a fling of rage, but rather furiously masturbating with a carrot juicer while sing "Livin La Vida Loca" in Russian.  They built a model train network throughout the neighborhood to develop feminine products on demand.  They dug up Jimmy Hoffa, painted him up as a clown, and sent him to the Westboro Chuch, sans pants.

See what I'm getting at.  Yes, nowhere very fast.  So fast that I traveled back in time and currently playing the bongos using only sporks and your mom's butt.  Your father watched, all the while yelling "Bring me more raspberry toothpaste!"  No, I don't know, either.

I demand you repent through sphincter monitoring.  A panel of 5 Nobel Laureates shall take measurements while you are subject to:  ferret in your pants, you watching a hermaphrodite riding a 3 legged horse, and you getting a lap dance from C-3PO.  Any sphincter variance will cause an immediate Tazer shot to the genital combined with a spray of Calvin Klein's new perfume to be sprayed into your eyes.

Don't come back, we don't like spammers.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-13 03:18:42)


Spammers are out and about today.
I reported one big_smile
I feel special. … 75#p643275
But I didn't have anything clever to say. Too early for that.


thanks Az but sphincter monitoring I dont havem, at least I dont tink anyways.
Get your panel to slap my ass I am still waiting for a warning! beep


Look at this moron posting illegal stuff here. 
Yeah, reported, but first you must face the monkeys.

Seriously?  How do any of you idiots NOT heard of the anti-spam monkey at this point.  We have a No-Spam Policy.

And I have one job here. 
To make you look like an idiot when you disregard that policy.  Oh, you'll be eliminated and banned shortly, but I shall record your shame for posterity.  Your adopted cockroach children can come here years from now, Grece (what type of couch-furniture picks that as a screen name?), and mentally urinate on your memory of the substandard life you lived, even as a cockroach.

You're not even worth my monkeys' attention.  I'll have a unicorn post-Taco Bell have at you-

You interrupted my viewing of The Talking Dead.  Do you know what the penalty for that is on Uranus?  3 full bottles of RediWip straight up the wazoo.  And if you're lucky, you'll miss the annual grizzly bear "let's pee on dumb people" contest.  They really like that day due to all the free beer they get.

Get out.  Don't ever come back, or I'll find some interesting areas to have human bot flies land on you.


Another idiot spam cretin.  Thanks for the assist, Hypno.

Are you kidding me?!  2 in 10 minutes?  I'm calling Karma the Just to dropkick your balls into next week, tarataraStupidAss.  If you don't have balls, I'll have Goro the Undead grow you a pair, painfully attached them to your forehead, and then have Karma kick you.

I go away for 2 minutes to look up some stuff for a member, and I come back to the equivalent of a rotted corpse pissing in my domain.  (Hint, this mean you, tarataraFunctionallyDisposableTrashcan) 

See my boy Bobo over there on the left?
He's been trained how to completely misuse that knife in the presence of WildlyStupidPeopleNamed_taratara who dare say "bollocks" without Wolfy's permission.  Yeah, our resident werewolf who is constantly pissed about, well, everything that is not scratching behind his ears. 

You just shat upon a website that has 100's of active members that spend their spare time watching people being reduced to flopping meat bags.  Think about that for a second- you just pissed them all off.

Run away before I unleash Chibbles the Sharp, or Cthulhu forbid, Boxlee the Fresh.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-18 05:17:18)


Another skull on the side of your plane azathoth. YAY!!!
We really don't want. need or support these imbeciles.
Thanks for clearing them out monkey boy man dude.


Someone called?  Ah, thanks Jack.
And reported.

Hey HorrorDud, we have a no Spamming Policy.  We are not free advertising, we don't know you, and we could care less if a shank-faced boll weevil climbed up your woohoo right now.  (Personal, I think Goro the Undead would pay to watch; or may just use his pogo-claymore sword.)

You ever hear the term "tossing the salad?"  Here, I do it with anger-

You want psychological horror?  How about my glowing monkeys crawl all over your bed at night, sniffing at the rotten odor you emit?

Begone, you hack of a classless turd.  Issac Asimov had a lost book of the Foundation Series, but once he read what he wrote, and realized it was about the horrors contained here, he burned in the nuclear fire of a smoking lava-lamp from hell.  I will install were-porcupines as water sprinklers on your lawn, so you never know if you'll get water or flying quill missiles.  I will replace all your underwear with shag carpeting.  Your car will only play "I will always love you," as rendered in accordion by Justin Bieber.

Remove your foul presence, it displeases the folk here.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-02-20 17:23:22)


Dibs on the movie rights and domain names for GlowingMonkeySniff. 

Happy to help out


You know he's serious when he brings in the evil glowing bed monkeys. lol


Another money grubbing whore.

LoudLon wrote:

Wow, that's a lot for shipping.  What are you packaging these keychains in, lead boxes?

Incidentally, two posts in the space of 8 or 9 months, both of them asking for funds?  Uh-uh.  You're asking a bunch of strangers to trust you with their money.  If you'd spent the last nine months since you joined being an active, participating member on the boards, making friends and building a reputation, this probably would have worked.

Oh well.


Hi, do I know you?  Oh, no, because both of your posts have been spam begging for money.  We don't know you.  We don't care about you.  And, we have an anti-Spammers policy. 

Don't do this again.  You want support from HM, you become a regular member, just some panhandling whore who drops by when you can't sell any more bodily secretions to various medical labs.

I'm going to have my monkey over there  (<----) give you a haircut-

I'm going to have my close friend, Dos Funkengroovin, probe you relentlessly with catfish-

If you don't get banned, your next post better be about something besides your whoring, because then I'll get serious.  And you screwed up my weekend, you funkmuffin.


And Tripod wanted in, too-

Tripod wrote:

One does not come on HM and expect us to purchase such an expensive thing. We do not tolerate one-time spammers. You now shall face the wrath of my killer pet hot dog, Frankie McFurter. He does not like spammers, and you will be his next meal. Beware.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-03-02 12:39:12)


I threatened to bring in the killer hot dog.