Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^
Look up.  You've been immortalized.

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Some idiot spammer trying to sell jewelry.
---------

daney9 wrote:

Hello People I Have No Right to Even Breathe the Same Air as You, I am DaneyDouchebag from Los Angles (what, are you invokingHot Fuzz?  Dickweed.) In everybody's life there are so many spammers that the monkey needs to spank. Sometimes they have their asses handed to them by said monkey. I also have faced so many f'ups and failures in my life; from them I realized how useless of a meat bag I am.

This is what happens to me on a daily basis.

Reported.

I also fixed your post for you.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-04-01 17:02:50)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Spamming people with BAM! TT messages is frowned upon.  Therefore, azathoth is BAM!'d with minus 72 bananas.

[edit- I can't ban bananas from myself, it seems.  Who knew?  lol ]

Last edited by azathoth (2013-03-14 03:27:16)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Illegal movie download link spammer.

----------------

Reported of course.

We have an Anti-Spamming policy here.  That includes drive by URL drops, begging for money, and illegal downloads links.

So you should strap on your athletic cup as your are now going to get groinally kicked into next week. 
http://www.blogography.com/photos26/KickBalls.gif


I really only have 3 jobs here-

  • Make People Laugh

  • Run Movie Nights

  • Mock Spammers Until They Are Violently Peeing On Everyone in a 30 Foot Radius Due to Shame

A have a cadre of elite simian warriors.  I have a division of panda tanks.  I have ex-military.  I have a PyroPiranha.  I have a new friend who is some kind of owl-headed demon thingy (I'm still trying to work that one out.  So far all of my Toaster Ambassadors© have been returned as french fries).  I'm a blithering daemon sultan that sits at the center of the universe while these weird fungoid things play flutes at me.  (No I have no idea why, my agent sucks.) I have freakin' Captain Howdy.  You have a toothbrush you call "Poo Bear" and dirty underwear.

This is Tuesday's tea time for me-

https://sites.google.com/site/vervemonkeyproject/Home/images/web-images/awesome_gorilla_shark.jpg


I have the power to turn every round object you own in squares.  As my pilates instructor once told me, "The path of despair, you are on."

http://www.hispanicsuccess.com/images/success-yoda.jpg


Turn away from the Dark Side, do not spam again, and you may be welcome by His Noodly Appendage.  Otherwise, He shall be angered-

http://ruzinfruz.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/flying_spaghetti_monster.jpg


So spoketh the monkey.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-03-16 08:29:11)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Another illegal link spammer
==============

Reported

Incorrect, you twaddle goat.  We have a Anti-Spam Policy here.  As you can imagine, posting illegal links is kind of up there with grandpa rape and shaving Cthulhu's balls.

Rotten toothless imbeciles like yourself makes me bang my head against walls
http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/crazy-monkey/crazy-monkey-emoticon-049.gif
because I can't blow you up.
http://emoticoner.com/files/emoticons/crazy-monkey/crazy-monkey-emoticon-112.gif

Now run away to mommy.  Maybe she'll protect you from the glowing night monkeys.  But I doubt it, even mommies can't love slime.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-03-18 04:55:08)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Man, your plane is definitely full of skull stickers. We can't even see what color it was.

And that's a very good thing. smile

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Here's a new one- a fashion designer spammer. ???
Eh, whatever, easy picking fruit, I say.
-------------------

Hello Mr. AdamSmith,
There is a new trend in not spamming this site.  Well, it's not really new, but I'm keeping with your theme.

To look mahrvelous, you must try our new head-reducing therapy.  It's very relaxing after the first 5 seconds or so.

http://drawception.com/pub/panels/2012/5-2/ysNDBthqj7-4.png


We also cater to the finest fashions, for example you may wish to try on some of these-

http://data.whicdn.com/images/20859810/vivi-cosplay_large.jpg

http://mimg.ugo.com/201007/52466/cuts/sdcc-cosplay-58_480x640.jpg


Thank you for stopping by, I will be sending out my fashion designer Chuckles the Redoubtable to speak with you soon.

https://sites.google.com/site/vervemonkeyproject/Home/images/web-images/crazy_river_monkey.jpg

Take the hint and take a hike before Goro the Undead wakes up, you jackalope.

Reported

Last edited by azathoth (2013-03-22 05:20:54)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

I'm keeping the spam message (changing the link, of course to a picture of a monkey), because it is pure funny spambot writing.
And of course, reported.

(Special co-writer Vampy)

===================

Jeniss321 wrote:

While acceptable acquainted of their new surroundings, the ancestors are attacked by some baleful red-furred birds. In an act of panic, Eep sounds a horn agnate to that of which Guy gave to her. Guy hears this, and rushes to her. Quickly thinking, he creates a bake of fire, which scares the birds away. The blow of the ancestors are again captivated by the fire, accepting never apparent it before. They abduct Guy's bake and accidentally forward the acreage about them up in flames. Eventually some behemothic blah is lit, which all rockets up to the sky,
http://grassrootsmarketing.ca/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Ego-Monkey-Suit.jpg
  bidding a affectation of fireworks. After activity afflicted with Guy's intelligence and apperception of 'ideas', bottles him in a alveolate log to backpack him in, again suggests that they yield confinement in the cavern of a adjacent abundance mentioned by Guy. Guy is angrily abiding to advance the way, and anon begins to apprentice of the Croods' way of living, which he thinks of as unusual.
http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/37000/Monkey-in-a-Gas-Mask---37448.jpg
In this account Nicolas Cage, Ryan painter, Emma Stone are prima as acclimation for the foremost all-important roles and it actually was appropriately agog to actualize over cycle success for the adventure line. About anytime in added animations acclimation care to be in appropriately actual and their aggressions are acceptable added individuals to agreeable for it.
http://www.energyenhancement.org/Patanjali-Monkey-Attitude.jpg
Some about currently a lot of of individuals adumbrate to attending at this appearance too and aswell the administrators are too assured to acquire some over cycle best appulse apropos it.
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18dyl3pjywpoajpg/original.jpg
Any agency there may be added absorption growing about anniversary one beeline abroad and aural the accomplished action appearance lovers bootless to actualize any of the animations collapse. Appropriately it may be one abruptness if it to be bootless appropriately and ne’er would be of course.
http://i1210.photobucket.com/albums/cc419/KillerMunkies/Monkey_facepalm.jpg

=============

Dear Whatever SpamWad This Will Be Addressed To:

There is an Anti-Spammer Thread here.  It codifies what we do not except.  You have obviously violated those rules.

I do not get pleasure out of writing these things.  It takes time away from my tea time, my wife, and violently punching trees.  This is why I asked Vampy to help me write this one.  It is a bonding experience in shared hatred of all that is foul and not vampiric monkeys.
https://sites.google.com/site/vervemonkeyproject/Home/images/web-images/Vampire-Monkey.jpg
However, I do feel it is my responsibility to fence in all the moronic gibberings, much like a zombie horde.  If one gibbered buffoon gets out, we will be infected with PlayDoh stuffed up our noses.

Let me introduce my wife; I'm too tired right now to deal with you directly.  Her name is Vampy.  She is not actually a vampire as you may think of one.  No, she is worse.  She has the power to make animals hate you and to remove consonants from you.  No, not your language, any non-vowel in your physical body shall be removed and put into a delicious smoothie shake for her monkey Jojo.  And her monkey's boyfriend Bobo carries around a nuclear knife.

http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1239/1238019.large.jpg

What Vampy does is reduce you bit by bit until you are just a speck of yourself.  She is the quantum Judge Dredd.  Quarks are things she punches as she drinks her mocha-latte.  Only she can cage the rage-monkey.  When I say I tread where demons fear to walk, I fear to tread where Vampy walks.  She will liquify you like it's no thing, then use your remains as a pretty porcelain sculpture.

When asked for a quote, Vampy replied, "I am made of awesome, for I kick all the ass."

Remove thyself.  Quickly.

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t98/Akurei_Hyuuga/Random%20Anime%20People/Anime%20Girls/Single/kagome2-1.jpg

Last edited by azathoth (2013-04-08 07:58:35)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Multi-link spammer.  He shall get the proboscis treatment.

============

First reported.
Second, read our anti-spam policy.
Third, get bent.

I've written dozens of these posts mocking spammers.  I've invented at least 6 new monkeys to deal with them.  I looked up "spastic colon monkey" and I got this-

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/Portrait_of_a_Proboscis_Monkey.jpg

I don't think he has a spastic colon, but the next time you're in the bathroom, just imagine him sitting on the sink, staring at you, internally ridiculing you because his nose is sexier than you.  I'm not even giving him a name, that would imply you have some sort of achievement in the spammer world.

Go poof yourself.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-04-08 05:35:20)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^^
He's very impressive.

And man, "Go poof yourself." Mwahaha lol

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Did you catch the one co-written with Vampy above?

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Well it could be anything so no I didn't. lol

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^
The one that has the pic of the chick with the sword? 
Or are you just f'n with me, furry-popsicle?

And I think you missed this one.  big_smile

http://www.horror-movies.ca/Forum/viewt … 37#p652637

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

azathoth wrote:

http://dingo.care2.com/pictures/greenliving/1239/1238019.large.jpg

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? 
Number one stole the cookie from the cookie jar.
Who, me?
Yes, you!
Couldn't be!
Then who?
Number two stole the cookie from the cookie jar...

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^
"He ratted me out, that rat bastard!"

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8285/7523850746_ccb5d46e98_z.jpg

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

azathoth wrote:

^^
The one that has the pic of the chick with the sword? 
Or are you just f'n with me, furry-popsicle?

And I think you missed this one.  big_smile

http://www.horror-movies.ca/Forum/viewt … 37#p652637

Oh I just read it now. Pretty damn cool. And yes, I missed this one which is pretty freaking cool TOO. H3LL most of the things you post are that way so... lol

Last edited by kXnPunk (2013-04-08 18:41:27)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

I was in a good mood, so I kept this one short and sweet for the link spammer.  In retrospect, it does sound kind of kinky.  lol
---------

You're lucky I'm in a good mood.  Otherwise I'd be tearing up your ass like a wolverine with a carrot up his ass.

Reported.

=========
And the twaddle came back for a second round...
-----------

You just like to get spanked, don't you, you little dwarf funkbaby of Michael Jackson and Prince?

Reported.

==============
Wow, he's going for the trifecta of stupid.
---------------

Yeah, I can play this game all night, Gibberish Joe.  I am the monkey born of nightmares and Play-Doh.  Meander away while your genitals are still intact.

Reported

===============
You have got to be kidding me.  A 2nd idjit in the same night.  Thank you for Howdy showing up.
------------

This is funny.  I just wabber-jabbered a guy 3 times for posting this type of inane crap.  Were you too busy licking your balls to notice? 

For this, I will have Chuckles the Redoubtable laugh at you.

https://sites.google.com/site/vervemonkeyproject/Home/images/web-images/crazy_river_monkey.jpg

And reported, you spam enema.

Last edited by azathoth (2013-04-17 04:02:51)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^^
That was a cool one. I like the sentences then bam the Reported under each one. Who is this one??? Chuckles I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong.

And for saving us once more from damn SPAMMERS here's another Skull sticker on your plane. Keep going, plenty of space left for more. lol

http://media-cache-ak1.pinimg.com/550x/2c/43/df/2c43df0e7682cd6851e5fdfbf04fca85.jpg

Last edited by kXnPunk (2013-04-17 08:16:58)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^
Yep, that was Chuckles the Redoubtable.
I love the plane!  It has that je ne sais quoi.

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

We Chuckles makes me do just that. lol

Glad you like. Ah man, how I love Photoshop and cool Skull typography. Hehehe

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Another link spammer.  Yeesh.
------------------

Ah, lookey here, another Spammer with no genitals.  I shall pick a random picture to make fun of you.

http://www.netanimations.net/Laughing-chimp-gif-animation.gif

Begone.

And reported.

==============

A two parter again.  Joy.
-------------------

I see you're going for multiple brain damage tonight!  Spam thyself not here, you nippless abomination.

http://img3.joyreactor.com/pics/post/auto-sociopathic-penguin-wallet-pocket-347673.jpeg

Thou art not welcome here.

And reported.

=================

A trifecta again.  Woot.
-------------------------

And we have the trifeca of Spamming while under the influence of not enough chromosomes.

Here's something to play with-
http://i4.ytimg.com/vi/OVpnzHqfk1A/mqdefault.jpg

Leave.  Quickly.

And reported
---------------

And a shout-out to El Capitano for his SpamHammer!

Last edited by azathoth (2013-04-19 03:39:41)

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

^^^
Nipless abomination. Mwahahaha lol

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

Stupidest spam I've seen in a while.  Guy post the tracks to his favorite CD and then has a link.  ?
------------------------
Oh, this is barely worth the effort.  A penile implant could construct a better spam that this.  And Mediafire?  Great, now we have hobo-spammers.  Fueled by Thuderbird and rat flesh.

You are so below my pay grade, you don't even get a picture.

Go away.  And reported.

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

This entire thread is why I posted an addendum to my message today. I didn't want to get chastised. smile

But this thread is very entertaining.

Re: SPAMMERS BEWARE

It's very rare that a spammer would have the foresight to sign up 5 years in advance so you were probably safe wink