Topic: Terrifying Encounter

Me and some friends were having a barbecue. We decided to have it on my porch since it's pretty big. Now! As I came out with the plastic plates and some spices and sat them down on the table, I turned in  the spirit of cooperation and world peace to fetch the cups as well. Here the sunny cheerful day decided to go and have a drink.

Right in from of me hovers the biggest fucking wasp I have ever seen. No it was not a wasp. It was a matchbox with wings. To the embarrassment of the masculine gender I screamed out in a high pitched voice, stumble backwards in to the grill that faith according to the general rules of comedy had seen to fit place.

Now I guess the timing was a good thing, because the grill was still soaking up spark liquid and was therefore not on fire unlike my primordial terror which was now in the driving seat and was having a blast. To the general amusement of the universe, me, the grill and the coal was suddenly on the porch floor.

At this juncture my brain was generally made up of fear who had manage to make it's self heard above my pride who was making feeble protest. My embarrasment was calmly sitting in a corner taking notes with a smug smile.

Now they say the development of the temporal lobes is one of evolutions gtreatest triumphs. Intelligence, reason, advanced problem solving capabilities and so on. BIG DEAL.

There was noting reasonable or intelligent about my reaction which was purely guided by the same stuff that compelled our hairy ancestors to look for a tree when a growl was heard in the bushes. I just know I'm going to be the laughing stock of all my friends for a long time. But to my defence! A wasp of that size have no business occupying the same planet I happen to inhabit. Just saying.

You got any soul ripping encounters with these hell spawns or other bugs to share?
http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/wasp-3.jpg

Re: Terrifying Encounter

have you ever encountered tarantula wasps??? theyre a little bigger than a 50 cent piece and theyre black....and supposedly have a very painful sting....look up giant japanese wasps though...they spray acid spit into your eyes and theyre as big as your thumb.....super aggressive too....

Re: Terrifying Encounter

When I was sixteen or so I was hanging out beside the house with my best friend at the time, Brad.  A wasp flew into my Pony high-top and stung my ankle.  I reflexively shook my foot in pain, at which point the wasp stung me again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  All the while I'm jumping around in circles trying to kick my high-top off, Brad's standing there breathless, laughing his ass off. 

We counted six stings in total.  My ankle looked like someone had inserted a ping pong ball just under the skin.  Hurt like a motherfucker buy hey, Brad got a kick out of it.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

When i was 7 I was playing hide & seek out at my nonna's in B.C. and either my cousin or I stepped on a wasp hive. He got stung once, I got stung 17 times. I remember crying and running. I have been exacting my vengeance since that day. I have no fear of any bugs in Canada (except for ticks, fuck them). Any wasp I see will be smashed. When I was in elementary my friend and I used to kick garbage cans by the playground to stir up the wasps, than smash them to smithereens with a bat or just by hand.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

LoudLon wrote:

When I was sixteen or so I was hanging out beside the house with my best friend at the time, Brad.  A wasp flew into my Pony high-top and stung my ankle.  I reflexively shook my foot in pain, at which point the wasp stung me again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  All the while I'm jumping around in circles trying to kick my high-top off, Brad's standing there breathless, laughing his ass off. 

We counted six stings in total.  My ankle looked like someone had inserted a ping pong ball just under the skin.  Hurt like a motherfucker buy hey, Brad got a kick out of it.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/2497829/can-can-o.gif lol

Re: Terrifying Encounter

LoudLon wrote:

When I was sixteen or so I was hanging out beside the house with my best friend at the time, Brad.  A wasp flew into my Pony high-top and stung my ankle.  I reflexively shook my foot in pain, at which point the wasp stung me again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  All the while I'm jumping around in circles trying to kick my high-top off, Brad's standing there breathless, laughing his ass off. 

We counted six stings in total.  My ankle looked like someone had inserted a ping pong ball just under the skin.  Hurt like a motherfucker buy hey, Brad got a kick out of it.

I feel with you. Wasps are like flying sharks and you're the bleeding victim basking in the water when the frenzy commences.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Never been bitten by them.

They don't want, my skin is Radioactive for them it seems.
Once I was just under a hive and a big bunch of them were wandering around me without attacking me.

OF COURSE I stand still and don't do any movement that would scare them. And stay calm...

Hey, that's called respect. big_smile

Last edited by kXnPunk (2013-08-10 22:07:57)

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Once when I was about eight we were out at my uncle's and he had a bunch of old machines me my brother and sister used to play on and pretend to drive and stuff tons of fun. One day I jumped into one of the machines and there ended up being a wasps nest in the seat man no telling how many times I got stung, but it was a lot. My dad and uncle took me into the house and threw me into a baking soda bath. I had stings from head to toe. Apparently after that my Uncle blew the machines up lol.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Look something like this?

http://www.saltthesandbox.org/cicada_hunt/more_killers_hand_35.jpg
http://www.fcps.edu/islandcreekes/ecology/Insects/Cicada%20Killer/cicada_killer_wasp.jpeg


You just encountered the cicada killer (Sphecius speciosus).  They're actually quite docile.

I'd flip out, too, though.  I'm allergic.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

First of all, awesome post Tri.  That was hilarious.

Second, oddly enough, earlier today I was out in my homemade bee suit, squashing and stomping some wasps that I thought had made a ground hive. 

My battle with bees / wasps started a few years ago when unbeknownst to me, I disturbed their hive and was stung about 5 times in my face.  My buddy was stung too.

This brings me to last year.  Found a bunch of ground hives on my property.  They were in places that were routinely traveled, which made them problematic.  My same buddy from a few years ago was stung several times again when we accidentally disturbed a hive.

I'm not a fan of chemicals, but used a lot of spray to get rid of them.  Didn't work.  Tried gas and that didn't work either.  I had been mowing with a tractor and went over a hive.  They swarmed and took over the tractor.  I had to get away from it, and couldn't even get to it to move it as there were literally thousands all over it for hours. 

Finally...I went mad.  Went in my house and created this:

http://i40.tinypic.com/6h1b12.jpg

You can't tell, but its actually an inner ski mask, cut up window screen covering the mouth and eyes, and then another ski mask over it (with the sun glasses over it).   It was hot as hell that day, but I went out in this outfit and reclaimed the tractor.  Dug up three hives with the front loader.  At times jumped off the tractor and ran around screaming and howling, stomping on them.  I got rid of them.

So today when I thought I discovered another ground hive, got my suit back on to investigate.  I squashed and stomped on many of them. Yelling and howling.  I actually thought of a new superhero - The Beekeeper (which doesn't really make sense in this context) or BeeDestroyer.  My new suit is upgraded and has a bee net for my head, so I don't have to wear two ski masks.

There are people that will talk of bee shortages and leaving them alone...blah blah blah.  Those people don't understand these are not honey bees, or bumblebees...these are wasps / hornets.  Those people also probably have not been stung in the face for just nudging a compost bin.

Anyway...I know this was a long post, but had to share.  I would not be one of them making fun of you Tri.  smile

Re: Terrifying Encounter

^^

http://static.tumblr.com/p3aywgt/5Gkm39p8g/pic_you_are_awesome.jpg

Re: Terrifying Encounter

http://kupika.com/bbimg/2012/04/08/084cf5d8fe.jpg
To be more precise, the Brazilian Wandering Spider.
Just when you think evolution didn't get any creepier.. neutral

Re: Terrifying Encounter

I can't deal with spiders.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Tripod wrote:

http://kupika.com/bbimg/2012/04/08/084cf5d8fe.jpg
To be more precise, the Brazilian Wandering Spider.
Just when you think evolution didn't get any creepier.. neutral

I don't think that will ever catch on as a treatment for E.D. lol

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Ghostseeker wrote:

http://i40.tinypic.com/6h1b12.jpg

There are people that will talk of bee shortages and leaving them alone...blah blah blah.  Those people don't understand these are not honey bees, or bumblebees...these are wasps / hornets.  Those people also probably have not been stung in the face for just nudging a compost bin.

AWEdamnSOME man!!! WOah. Way to go. big_smile

True, never been bitten, probably why I love them so much.
Same with Spiders. I love insects. lol

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Yesterday I was taking a shit, suddenly I see one of these fucks on the wall next to the toilet.
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-bDb3g_2wgIo/TYfSWoYQb-I/AAAAAAAAAVw/gAg2pvXjSCM/s320/house_centipede_underside.jpg
I was just really hoping it wouldn't move at all. No, it fucking crawled right on over to the toilet. So I jumped, midshit, and had to run upstairs to the other bathroom to finish. Now today I saw a baby centipede on my living room wall. The fucking thing laid an egg and every night I'm horrified I'll wake up to find one on my bed.

Seriously, fuck house centipedes.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

^^^
Hahahaha man. But yeah, these are annoying and ugly motherfuckers.

Last edited by kXnPunk (2013-08-18 18:00:26)

Re: Terrifying Encounter

I got stung by a bee in my hand today and it freakin  hurts.  Whole side of hand hurts.  Seems worse than when I get stung a bunch of times in the face, but how is that possible?

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Tripod wrote:

http://kupika.com/bbimg/2012/04/08/084cf5d8fe.jpg
To be more precise, the Brazilian Wandering Spider.
Just when you think evolution didn't get any creepier.. neutral

Don't forget, priapism, which left untreated, can lead to... wait for it... amputation. After of course going through the usual treatments of removing the gorged blood with a long... very long needle, inserted through the tip. Yup.

Re: Terrifying Encounter

Hate spiders.

Can you imagine if you live in a town with thousands of spiders just hanging overhead like this place in brazil ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-9KPe3nwaQ

Some heavy rainfall and those spiders would be  crawling all over the place.