Uwe Boll The Movie MysteryMeh
Uwe Boll is a mystery to fans. More importantly he is a mystery to us horror fans. How does he manage to keep getting these big name titles? How does he lure in these top tier actors like Jason Statham to star in them? First off lets just lay the ground work that this is not an I Hate Uwe Boll post. I don't know him on a personal level and neither do you.
I do however hate the majority of his movies and its become an urban legend that is whispered about in back alleys as to what diabolical hold he has over the studios and specifically game studios to keep working on big name movies. When will this reign of terror end? But more importantly why does it even happen? I admittedly found House of the Dead some campy fun and am looking forward to checking out Postal.. but I realize I am very likely the minority.
Uwe Boll has taken alot of staple video games like House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Dungeon Siege and now Far Cry and has managed to turn them into some of the worst movie experiences fans have ever experienced. In fairness Far Cry is not out yet and it might not suck but you never can know. The question I pose to you is who is to blame? Do we blame Uwe Boll or do we blame the people that are willing to throw millions of dollars at him and let him bastardize these films? The rumor is and its one that many say has credibility is that their was a tax law in Germany where investors could write off their losses on their tax returns. So the idea is you make a big movie, it sucks, you write it off and you reduce your tax burden. Not being from Germany I have no idea if its true or just another Urban Legend but it certainly sounds plausible.
Why else would anyone make so many bad movies? And by that I am not talking about Uwe Boll. I am asking the question why so many studios and game developers would ruin their game titles and why producers would throw millions of dollars down a hole. In House of the Dead you could have used the excuse you didn't know better but after Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne... whats the story? Why are people so eager to put money behind these projects?
Lets look at Dungeon Siege. GREAT game, massive following... potentially a huge box office with very little effort. Somehow we end up getting a reasonable cast, and a top notch lead in Jason Statham but we also end up with Uwe Boll and a 9th grade FX class. I don't think anyone needs to be told what happened. We got a movie so bad you can't even find the humor in it. This is all fine and good since who hasn't made a bad movie? The problem is this is movie number what.... 5? And we still have more coming in the form of Far Cry and Postal is coming to DVD and we also have Zombie Massacre. I ask what is it that draws actors, studios and producers to these projects? Is there alot of money that needs burning? Are there not enough real charities that we have to burn cash on movie projects that are destined to doom? Or do they really think that we as horror fans are so stupid we don't actually know who is working on the project. All it takes is for Uwe Boll to be CREDITED on the movie now and I think its a safe bet to say that their is a resounding groan heard throughout the on-line horror community.
Now again to be fair this is not about Uwe Boll. Love his films or hate them its not a personal reflection on him. Uwe Boll is a really good guy and although delusional about his film making skills he is funny as hell and is willing to be the brunt of the joke. Its not his fault that game studios give him titles to translate to film but that doesn't excuse the fact the movies are all terrible without exception. So the question which I can not answer is why? What gives?... and just to leave you all in terror.. whats next? FABLE? Halo? Gears of War?