2009 Horror Movie Preview Part 1
So now that we have all wrapped up our looks back on 2008, its time to look forward. 2009 is almost here and just like any year, we are going to be thrust upon a giant marketing machine pumping out horror movies left and right. The problem is going to be finding out which movies are worth our time and which one are "craptacular".
Now, it may be months until we can make an educated decision to see a movie because let's face it, not everyone is a young single good looking [citation needed]guy with nothing but an IT job and time on his hands (me) so you can't be expected to see every movie out there. So let's take a look at what 2009 has in store for us as far as horror movies go. And clearly since I haven't seen most of these movies, the synopses are from imdb.com or official press releases for the films.
Eden Lake (Dir: James Watkins) – On DVD January 6th. Synopsis: Nursery teacher Jenny and her boyfriend Steve, escape for a romantic weekend away. Steve, planning to propose, has found an idyllic setting: a remote lake enclosed by woodlands and seemingly deserted. The couple's peace is shattered when a gang of obnoxious kids encircles their campsite. Reveling in provoking the adults, the gang steals the couple's belongings and vandalizes their car leaving them completely stranded. When Steve confronts them, tempers flare and he suffers a shocking and violent attack. Fleeing for help, Jenny is subject to a brutal and relentless game of cat-and-mouse as she desperately tries to evade her young pursuers and find her way out of the woods. Exhausted and distraught, she finally arrives back to the safety of the town. And meets the parents...
- Thoughts: I have heard nothing but good things about this movie. The synopsis sets it up to sound like another Texas chainsaw Massacre stealer but then again, The Strangers had a boring synopsis so hopes are high.
- Unseen recommendation: Apparently it's a must see
The Unborn (Dir: David S. Goyer) - In Theaters January 9th Synopsis: Nineteen-year old Casey Bell is haunted by a dybbuk--the soul of a dead person barred from heaven--in the form of a young boy who perished in Auschwitz.
- Thoughts: The trailer makes this film look pretty good plus you throw in Gary Oldman, James Remar (Dexter's Dad) and Carla Gugino and that pretty much seals the deal for me.
- Unseen Recommendation: It directed by the guy who wrote Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Blade and one of my favorite movies Dark City. How bad could it be. Wait… he wrote Demonic Toys too?
My Bloody Valentine 3D (Dir: Patrick Lussier) – In Theaters January 16th Synopsis: After surviving a fatal accident that claimed the lives of five of men in a mine shaft, Harry Warden performed a horrific killing spree on Valentines night in the town of Harmony, killing 22 people. Years later, Tom (responsible for the accident) returns to Harmony, only to find that the murders have started again
- Thoughts: Well I was never really a fan of the original version nevertheless a remake. Then again it's going to be a hard R, has some decent names in it (Jamie King, Kerr Smith), and was filmed in P(f**king)A so I will be checking it out.
- Unseen Recommendation: You are asking yourself right now what blood splatter looks like in 3D aren't you?
Hit and Run (Dir: Enda McCallion) On DVD January 13th: Synopsis: Mary Murdock, a college student, thinks she's hit and killed a cat with her car driving drunk. When she gets home, she discovers a man's nearly dead body impaled on the bumper of her Jeep. Terrified and irrational, Mary is faced with a series of decisions that determine her fate.
- Thoughts: Sounds a lot like Stuart Gordon's Stuck, but nevertheless it does sound intriguing. A lot of questions come from that synopsis but then again Kevin Corrigan (Pineapple Express, The Departed) is in it. I don't know why but I like him and his choices as an actor. I'm game.
- Unseen Recommendation: I know you have a lot of stuff scheduled for January 13th, but I'm going to try and work this one in.
Amusement (Dir: John Simpson) On DVD January 20th. Synopsis: Three women are stalked by a killer with a grudge that extends back to the girls' childhoods.
- Thoughts: I know next to nothing about this movie and every synopsis I found was watered down. Plus mix that in with all the push backs the movie had with a straight to DVD release and it all spells "bad movie". I'm just saying it could also spell "misunderstood genius".
- Unseen Recommendation: I don't know about this one…
Cold Prey (Dir: Roar Uthaug) – On DVD January 20th. Synopsis: A group of friends on a snowboarding vacation in Jotunheimen are forced to take shelter in an abandoned hotel when one of them breaks his leg, unable to make the walk back to their car. They discover that the hotel was closed in the seventies due to the disappearance of the managers' son and soon after they find someone is still living in the hotel…
- Thoughts: Sure it was made in 2006, but we are getting a taste of it on DVD on January 20th. Although it does sound a bit like Eden Lake, I' m still a sucker for people who are put in situations that are horrifying and incomprehensible. This one sounds good, plus if it got a DVD distribution deal in the US it can't be that bad… right?
- Unseen Recommendation: Austrian + Snowboarding + isolated hotel = I'm sold
Vacancy 2: The First Cut (Dir: Eric Bross) On DVD January 20th. Synopsis:
- Thoughts: So I guess it's a prequel which sounds exactly like the first Vacancy. I mean, I liked Vacancy, but I didn't love it. I think they figured that since they had this huge motel set lying around that they should probably make another one.
- Unseen Recommendation: I'm not pumped at all for this one…. ( You can read 2 Vacancy 2 Reader Reviews )
Donkey Punch (Dir: Oliver Blackburn) In Theaters January 23rd Synopsis: After meeting at a nightclub in a Mediterranean resort, seven young adults decide to continue partying aboard a luxury yacht in the middle of the ocean. But when one of them dies in a freak accident, the others argue about what to do, which leads to a ruthless fight for survival.
- Thoughts: In a limited release, this UK horror flick hits our shores (have you noticed that these synopses are sounding very alike?). With a general "meh" feeling from around the world, it doesn't look much like anything worth seeing. Then again the British have given us 28 Days Later, Severance, The Cottage, and Shaun of the Dead.
- Unseen recommendation: Those recent British imports are enough to make me want to see it.
Gutterballs (Dir: Ryan Nicholson) - On DVD January 27th. Synopsis: A brutally sadistic rape leads to a series of bizarre gory murders during a midnight disco bowl-a-rama at a popular bowling alley. One by one, players of two teams meet blood-drenched gruesome deaths at the hand of a black bowling-gloved masked killer.
- Thoughts: What a great synopsis. This is low budget gore horror that sounds like a whole lot of fun. Could it be the Jack Brooks of 09?
- Unseen recommendation: Did you read that synopsis? I'm blind buying this one!
Splinter (Dir: Toby Wilkens) - on DVD January 27th. Synopsis: Trapped in an isolated gas station by a voracious Splinter parasite that transforms its still living victims into deadly hosts, a young couple and an escaped convict must find a way to work together to survive this primal terror.
- Thoughts: Whispers from the festival circuit have been praising this move since it won 6 awards at the 2008 Screamfest in LA. Now after a limited release it hits DVD and all I can say about it really is that I have heard nothing but good things.
- Unseen recommendation: From what I heard, it's definitely worth checking out. ( There are 5 Splinter Reviews on our site. This film also made Meh's Top Horror Films of 2008 )
The Uninvited (Dir: Charles and Thomas Guard ) - In Theaters January 30th. Synopsis: Anna Rydell returns home to her sister (and best friend) Alex after a stint in a mental hospital, though her recovery is jeopardized thanks to her cruel stepmother, aloof father, and the presence of a ghost in their home.
- Thoughts: Wow talk about the shit hitting the fan all at the same time! It looks like we are going to take a look into the most disturbing moment in someone's life! Fun! At least it will make us feel better about our problems.
- Unseen recommendation: If I can muster up enough depression, I will check this one out.
Now since I write needlessly long and overdeveloped articles (that's how I roll) then you already know that there is more that meets the eye. Plus if you noticed I'm just done with January of 09. Nevertheless, parts 2 and 3 are coming!