2009 Horror Movie Preview Part 2

So you're back for Part II, look these previews can run kinda long so I'm just going to get to the chase.  Now also remember, I'm not going to cover every single movie coming out in 09 because think about it, some of them aren't even in pre-production yet. So pull up your pants, tighten you bow tie, and faux hawk that hair because I now present to you my 2009 Horror Movie Preview Part 2.

Tokyo Gore Police (Dir: Yoshihiro Nishimura) – January 6 DVD: Synopsis:  Set in futuristic Tokyo, this is the story of Ruka and her mission to avenge her father's assassination. Ruka is a cop from a squad who's mission is to destroy homicidal mutant humans known as "engineers" possessing the ability to transform any injury to a weapon in and of itself. ( Watch: Tokyo Gore Police Trailer / Tokyo Gore Police Review )

  • Thoughts:  I haven't seen it, but with a name like Tokyo Gire Police I can't find a single good reason for me NOT to see it.  I'm all over this one like stink on poop.
  • Unseen Recommendation: You know you want to…

Taken (Dir: Pierre Morel) – January 30 Synopsis:  A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade. ( Watch: The Taken Trailer )

  • Thoughts:  A lot of people are going to say that this isn't a horror film, but you know what, technically Last House on the Left isn't really a horror film either.  But it is frightening as all hell.  Losing your only daughter to a slave trade would make any father snap.
  • Unseen recommendation:  JMH314 requested I mention this one and I'm glad I did.  The trailer makes it look like a solid action thriller with some really dark and disturbing moments.  I'm in.

Killer movie (Dir: Jeff Fisher) - February 3 DVD Synopsis:  A reality TV director copes with a spoiled celebutante and a show gone haywire when a masked killer starts bumping off the crew in this slasher-movie satire.

  • Thoughts:  Does anybody feel like they've already seen this one before?  The reality show satire is old and a horror film satire is even harder to achieve a solid movie.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this one will be bad.
  • Unseen recommendation:   I'm going to skip it

Against the Dark (Dir: Richard Crudo) – February 10 DVD Synopsis: Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. ( Watch: Against The Dark Trailer )

  • Thoughts:  Steven Seagal in a horror movie.  Surprised he hasn't thought of this before
  • Unseen recommendation:  I'm going to treat it like I do every other Steven Segal movie.  I'm going to skip the shit out of it.

My Name is Bruce (Dir: Bruce Campbell) - February 10 DVD Synopsis: B Movie Legend Bruce Campbell is mistaken for his character Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy and forced to fight a real monster in a small town in Oregon. ( Watch: My Name is Bruce Trailer / My Name is Bruce Review )

  • Thoughts:  I know that there have been a number of people on this site that have given out negative reviews, but I really don't care.  I'm not expecting it to be the best movie ever, I just want it to be a good time.  I think Bruce Campbell is more than willing to give me a good time (at the movies).
  • Unseen recommendation:  Bruce Campbell = Automatic Blind Buy. Always. Forever.

Friday the 13th (Dir: Marcus Nispel) – February 13th Synopsis: Do you really need one? (Watch: Friday The 13th Remake Trailer )

  • Thoughts:  I know the idea of a Jason remake still turns the stomach of any horror fan, but I am kind of intrigued by this one.  Marcus Nispel also directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake which was different, but definitely not bad at all.  This is going to be a toss up but I will still check it out…
  • Unseen recommendation: …just not on opening day.  NOTE TO STUDIO:  No one gives a shit if you release Friday the 13th on a Friday the 13th.  I am going to a Bloodhound Gang show and don't really care about your marketing ploy considering the movie title/idea/concept/marketing strategy are all absolutely nothing new.

Feast 3: The Happy Finish (John Gulager) – February 17 DVD Synopsis:  The survivors are saved by the mysterious prophet, Shot Bus Gus, who seemingly has the ability to control the beasts. Along the way to a city they get help from karate expert Jean-Claude Seagal (Poppascotch NOTE: give me a f**king break) and learn that the beasts originate from a place called "The Hive."  The remaining people aim to destroy the Hive.

  • Thoughts:  The second installment was so terrible that I'm not even going to bother with this.  I'm just going to wait till it's on Netflix watch instantly.
  • Unseen recommendation:  Burn down your local video store if they decide to carry it

Alien raiders (Dir: Ben Rock) February 17 DVD Synopsis:  At 11:07pm, just before closing, a groups of masked terrorists invade a grocery store and hold everyone hostage.  The hostage takers reveal themselves to be a scientists that have discovered and tracked an alien infestation to THIS STORE on THIS NIGHT.  They are determined to find out which of the survivors are extraterrestrials and end the invasion at any cost.

  • Thoughts:  You know what this movie sounds like?  It sounds like the blood test scene from The Thing, which is my favorite scene of all time.  I also worked at a grocery store for years growing up.  I think this movie was made for me.
  • Unseen recommendation:  A good viewer response at imdb (6.4/10) only adds to more reasons why I want to see this one.  Blind buy for sure.

Red Sands (Dir: Alex Turner) February 24 DVD Synopsis:    During a mission in the Middle East, a group of US soldiers destroy a statue out of boredom only to then be visited by something the next day. ( Watch: Red Sands Trailer )

  • Thoughts:  I don't know how I feel about mixing present day American soldiers with horror elements.  It just doesn't seem interesting to me at all.  Still the movie doesn't sound bad so I wouldn't mind checking it out.
  • Unseen recommendation:  I will get to it when I get to it

The Horsemen (Dir: Jonas Akerlund) – March 13 Limited Synopsis:  A recently widowed detective still grieving over his wife's death discovers a shocking connection between himself and the suspects in a serial killing spree linked to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

  • Thoughts:  How does a crime spree become involved with the Four Horsemen of the apocalypse?  I will tell you what though, if I hear how that works and it makes any kind of sense, this might be a sleeper hit.
  • Unseen recommendation:  I'm lying in the weeds waiting to hear more….  Which is always what the studios want to hear….

Walled In (Dir: Gilles Paquet-Brenner) – March 17 DVD: Synopsis:  A demolition company rep (Mischa Barton) supervises the razing of a mysterious building and discovers horrifying secrets and past inhabitants entombed within its walls by a vicious murderer. ( Watch: Walled in Trailer )

  • Thoughts:  This sounds cool, but I'm not sold on Mischa Barton as the lead or therefore, anything that has to do with the professional Demolitions Field.  I have a soft spot for ghost stories though and this one might hit it.
  • Unseen recommendation:  I'll rent it, I'm curious...

Knowing (Dir: Alex Proyas) – March 20 Synopsis:  A teacher opens a time capsule that has been dug up at his son's elementary school; in it are some chilling predictions -- some that have already occurred and others that are about to -- that lead him to believe his family plays a role in the events that are about to unfold. ( Watch: The Knowing Trailers )

  • Thoughts:  Like I said before, I loved Dark City.  This is directed by the same guy – which is good.  Then again Nic Cage is the star – which is bad.  Then again in the hands of a talented director (see Raising Arizona, Leaving Las Vegas) Nic Cage has proven himself to be quite the actor so I guess I am going to have to go see how this works out.
  • Unseen recommendation:  This will either be an amazing film that brings Nic Cage back to the limelight or a huge steaming pile of crap… time will tell

The Dark Country (Dir: Thomas Jane) March 24 DVD Synopsis: A couple en route from Las Vegas are forced to deal with a body out in the desert making their honeymoon one hellish ride.

  • Thoughts: Directed by Thomas Jane (yes, the Punisher) brings us a small synopsis and not a whole lot else to go on.  Again though, this is a movie where the synopsis automatically puts at least 10 questions into my head.  Which I ask others about.  Which makes them interested in the movie.  These studio people are good…..
  • Unseen recommendation: I want to know more, which means you probably do too.

Martyrs (Dir: Pascal Laugier) – March 24 DVD: Synopsis:  A young woman's quest for revenge against the people who kidnapped and tormented her as a child leads her and a friendon a terrifying journey into a living hell of depravity.

  • Thoughts:  It's a French horror film and like I have said before several times, the French are insane.  I know that's a broad generalization and I shouldn't be perpetuating stereotypes but after seeing High Tension, Frontier(s), and Inside… well what else am I supposed to think about a revenge flick?
  • Unseen recommendation:  Gore and tons of it and it will probably be good too.  Well that's what the word on the festival circuit was…

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (Dir: Ti West) – April ? Synopsis:  A high school prom faces a deadly threat: a flesh-eating virus that spreads via a popular brand of bottled water.

  • Thoughts:  I saw Cabin Fever and thought it was a nice little twisted horror flick with some great scary moments in it.  The ending however was so open ended that we didn't even need a sequel to see what was going to happen.  So here's the sequel.  That no one asked for.
  • Unseen recommendation:  I'm waiting till someone else sees this before I see it.  It could be hazardous to your health.

So there is part 2 all finished and done.  I know I'm leaving out some stuff that people are pretty psyched about but I only have so many words, and the average reader has only so much patience.  If you want to suggest something for the future or you want to get mad at me for something then blast me in the comments about it!  I will see you at Part 3! If you have trailers for any films we did not have links to please email us at scoops@horror-movies.ca and of course if you have seen any of the above films feel free to review em.