Retro Rewatch: The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 1985

Retro Rewatch is an ongoing editorial that takes a look into certain films, conventions, crazes, and characters of the horror genre years after their heyday. It is an effort to try and put the magnifying glass up to the horror world with the much needed luxuries of time and perspective applied in order to fully understand the impact and social significance of these projects/themes/ideas (if any). So for this installment of retro Rewatch, I give you the full length feature film “The Hills Have Eyes: Part II”.  Not that one I’m talking about the version from the 80s-tacular (brightly colored/shitty/bad tunes) year of 1985.

The original installment of The Hills Have Eyes, released in 1977 was a stunning look into what we have come to perceive as the nuclear family and their survival through a harrowing disaster in a desert wasteland.  The film itself was its own little landmark in the history of horror because of the way that the family was presented to the viewer.  Much like Wes Craven’s first film the Last House on the Left, We are shown characters that we can easily identify with and therefore assume are good and wholesome, like the positive projection we have of ourselves.  As the movie progresses, it’s the monsters that they turn into that make them no different from the terrible people that pursue them.  The level of satire and self reflection are so deep that you would drown with only the lightest pair of cement boots.  The Hills Have Eyes Part II however is another story.

According to imdb.com (and wiki), Wes Craven (writer and director) said publically that he made the movie specifically for the money and has since disowned the film.  Think about that for a second.  The most integral person to the production, the writer and director thought that the fruits of his labor were so god awful that he didn’t want to be associated with it.  That is so harsh.  The person who made Troll hasn’t disowned that movie.  The guy who made Reindeer Games hasn’t disassociated himself from that movie.  So think about how bad this experience must be.  If you have ever seen the movie, you would know why it is really justified.

Let me give you a quick idea of where we are in the horror movie timeline in 1985.  A Nightmare on Elm Street has just blown up the year before, Jason was now in his 5^th installment, Michael Myers was more than noticeably absent in part 3, and Gremlins was released somewhere.  So, as a society is want to do, it was deemed necessary to show as many teens in fluorescent colors doing cool 80s activities getting slaughtered left and right.  Enter Bobby and Rachel (Ruby).  Bobby is now a bit more grown up after the 8 years that have passed and has since become a successful small business owner.  Bobby is the pround owner of a Yamaha Dealership (not even American?) and while he was taking his team on a venture to a race, they start to run low on gas.  They decide to take a shortcut through “the old bomb range” to get to their destination quicker or to possibly stop at a gas station.  This is where shit inevitable begins to get “real”.

Oh did I mention also that the messed up daughter of the original mountain clan is now dating the young boy Bobby?  How weird is that?  Do you think a conversation ever started saying “Hey remember when you psycho Hillbilly clan of a dirt family got blown up by me and my sister when I used the dead body of my grandma as a decoy?  Yeah that was pretty awesome”.  So right there you have some kind of weird family tension.  Christmas will forever be awkward.  With that in the back of your mind (oh yeah, that’s only in the back, much more wrong here in this movie than you probably originally thought).  You have Bobby’s friends who he apparently sponsors while they go gallivanting around dirt bike racing.  Their names are fittingly Hulk, Harry, and Roy and apparently all they do is ride dirt bikes all day.  That is kind of awesome and I wish that was my life, but there is something else that has bothered me ever since I first saw this movie… well two things.

They are low on gas in the RV and then they ride their dirt bikes around the desert wasteland?  The whole reason they take the shortcut is to get to gas because they are running low.  So why not take the gas from the dirt bikes and put it in the RV?  Then they would get a bit farther at least.  But that isn’t even the biggest quip I have with the movie.  The hardest thing to swallow besides the absolute lack of care by the director (and entire crew) is the absolute disregard for the integrity of the “flashback”.

The entire film is padded with flashbacks.  Honestly they must take up something like 30 or 40 percent of the entire movies’ running time.  Everyone from the first film is seen in some respect and their demise or successes (not dying?)  are clearly displayed from the first picture.  Apparently, no one thought hard enough to think to make part 2 stand on its own as a coherent film.  They just figured they would make the entire movie into a ½ hour version and BAM!  Audience is now up to speed.  Oh yeah and if that isn’t enough, the f**king dog has a flashback.  That’s right, they slow zoom on the dog’s face and we get his part of the story.  I am not lying at all and I would never lie to you.  I think the conversation between director Wes Craven and producer Peter Locke went something like this….

Peter:  “Hey Wes, remember when we made the first movie and the dog messed up that guy off the cliff”

Wes (stoned): “yeah, that was awesome”

Peter: “Well we should show that in the movie, but it won’t make sense, no one was there to see it except Mercury who is dead and the dog named beast”

Wes (stoned):  “Wait wait wait!  The dog has a flashback”

Peter: “are you stoned”

Wes:  “You shut it you antiquated balloon knot soldier!”

Peter: “and on lsd?”

Wes: “yes”

Peter: “You know what, if you don’t care then I don’t care, the damn dog has a flashback now!”

Wes: “whatever just make sure my name is spelled right on the check”

As we all know, Peter and Wes have rebounded pretty successfully from this gem so all of my snarky crap is in good fun.  Now you may be also thinking “are there good things about this movie”?  Well it is over the top stupid, insipid, and the kills are almost all really lame.  It’s also boring and a waste of time.  So to answer your question that I put into your mouth… no.

Is it a cult classic, a fitting analysis, or complete forgettable?: It is absolutely and completely forgettable.  Unless of course you have a case of PBR and way too much time.   The dog has a flashback…. You need at least a case to handle that.