Horror DVD Quotes Mean Nothing!


Only a fool buys a dvd based on those glamorous quotes on the cover that say 'Best Movie Ever Made'. Those quotes are designed for one reason only to make you think 'holy crap its the holy grail of horror movies'. Studios carefully scour the web looking for great quotes to pull off sites and toss on their dvd covers to sell movies. Whether the quote was complete B.S. or based in fact at all.

Sometimes studios will even pull segments out of quotes. I know that Goon and I have had a few laughs when he sees a glowing quote on a DVD that he reviewed and its not entirely true. Example 'This movie is fantastic if you like tooth canals'.... can be edited to 'This Movie is Fantastic...'. See where we are going here folks?

DVD quotes are not always about the whole truth kids... its about selling dvds. So as much as the person quotted might love said movie that doesnt mean its the holy grail of horror movies.  The key thing to keep in mind when your reading a horror quote on a dvd cover is it is 1 line. Its not a review. How on earth can you possibly gauge a movies contents and whether its worth watching off of one glamorous line saying 'Greatest Horror Movie Ever Made'  - Some Dude with a Blog. Do you not need to see the whole review and its context to see if you share the same tastes with them? I would think so. I know I do

Now some might take my post as quite offensive especially if you have ever had your name on a dvd cover ( and I have ). So I am going to throw punches at this topic by choosing people from our own site who have been forever glamorized on a dvd cover.

The Goons quote on 'The Zombie Diaries' which he truly loved.

Tim Hannigans Quote on HOSTEL which is a film he found both revolting and awesome in the same breath.

Yours truly on the cover of Alien Apocalypse a Bruce Campbell movie that is all kind of b-movie bad and awesome all rolled into one!

First off its worth noting that Tim Hannigan and Goon have both known me since i started this site. They are personal friends of mine and we agree on alot of things and sometimes its not always movies. As much as I like Goon and Tim and respect their tastes in film I would never buy a movie just because they told me to. Nor should you, anymore then you should buy a movie because I said it was awesome. A dvd quote is one persons opinion and reflects one persons tastes which in some cases can be pretty limited. Case and point is Alien Apocalypse. Its a small niche film that I guarantee you 90% of the world would hate. If anyone bought that movie based on my quote I might owe you an apology if you dont share my limited b-movie love for Bruce and all things cheese.

If you want to blind buy a movie the first thing you should do is lookup the film in our tomb and see what a group of readers think. Are a group of readers better then Goon, myself or Tim? No.. they are not better per say. They are however a larger group and give you a much fairer comparison of what horror fans as a whole like. Tim Hannigan loved Hostel but did horror fans? When I buy a movie I look at other reviews first and foremost. In Tims case The Tomb ( which is based off your reviews ) gives HOSTEL a 76% rating meaning its a rent and possibly a buy. Namely 76% of you loved it.

Zombie Diaries in turn is also pretty well rated with a 63% rating in our tomb which means its a rent but not likely a buy. So in the case of Goon and Tim you all for the most part shared their views and liked the films. Heck if you lookup Alien Apocalypse you all seemed to agree with me as well giving that movie a 73% approval rating but lets take this to the next level.

Lets say you saw a quote from Goon on Uwe Bolls Dungeon Siege calling it the greatest movie ever made now. Would you buy it? I sure as hell hope not. What if I had a quote saying Alone in the Dark is the greatest masterpiece ever put on film? See my answer above. Use the internet kids. Whether you choose to look it up in our tomb, or simply google it.... use your noggin and do your research. Buying films based on dvd quotes is a great way to be dissapointed regardless of who made them. DVD quotes are nothing more then an attempt to get you to pick up and buy that movie. It reflects one persons opinion, no matter how esteemed it my be and should NEVER be the basis for your buy.

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