My Medicinal Horror Movies - HorrorMovies.ca

It happens to everyone once in a while. We wake up one morning feeling as if we’ve been hit by a Mac truck driven by a gaggle of body builders outfitted in swords and chainmail. Sore throats, stuffy noses, achy bodies; they are all unfortunate side effects of being sick. To weather the storm, we take the inevitable sick day from work or school and do whatever we can to rest and get ourselves back in the game. If you’re anything at all like me (which if you are on this site, you are) then you grab a blanket, a hot cup of cocoa and sit in front of the TV with a nice stable of horror movies. Not any horror movie will do though. No, no, no, it may sound a bit crazy, but everyone has a certain small group of horror films that have some sort of medicinal powers that guide you back on the road to good health. So I figured that since I’m a bit ill, I should share with you five of my favorite horror films to watch on a sick day.

The Shining (Dir: Stanley Kubrick – 1980) I know that it’s going to sound a bit weird, but for some reason I find The Shining extremely comforting. It’s a terrifying movie about a man who completely loses his mind in a secluded haunted Mansion. I don’t have any particular reason to feel comforted by this at all, but for some reason whenever I watch the movie, I feel like someone is giving me a really big hug. It could be the masterful filmmaking craft being perfectly executed, it could be the amazing actors, or it could even been the inherent feeling of claustrophobia that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside while my body rages war internally. Plus it doesn’t hurt that I’ve seen the movie a whole mess of times to the point where if I go into a medication coma for a few hours, no harm done.

Dawn of the Dead (Dir: George Romero – 1978): I think the selling point of watching Dawn of the Dead is the fact that the hideous and decaying corpses of the undead are in many ways, the physical representation of how I feel when I’m sick. Seriously though, watching Dawn of the Dead is like meeting up with a good friend who you haven’t seen in years, and then after talking to them for five minutes, it’s like no time has passed at all. It’s the same good and reliable film time in and time out. It reminds me of being a kid again when all I could think about is how awesome it would be to get stuck in a mall for the entire night. This zombie scenario dream would of course come at the expense of millions of people all over the world, which would be terrible. There are worse ways to spend the rest of your life though. Usually when all these thoughts go through my head, its right about when I realized that I would rather be healthy and raking leaves or shoveling snow rather than sitting on the couch feeling like the zombies look.

An American Werewolf in London (Dir: John Landis – 1981) I don’t know why I gravitate towards older movies when I’m not feeling well. Maybe it has something to do with the deliberate pacing that feels almost like the story isn’t going to move along unless I’m on board. It’s like everyone is waiting for me. I’m not rushed into learning a character’s name when I know three seconds later they are going to be killed. Regardless, An American Werewolf in London is another horror movie classic that broke boundaries as far as makeup effects are concerned and also as far as hot British nurses are concerned (BAM!). Again this is one of those movies where no matter how terrible I feel, I know that I’m not going to turn into a werewolf… probably… if I did however, that would be kind of awesome (As long as it’s more of a Teen Wolf situation rather than a Ginger Snaps situation).

The Burbs (Dir: Joe Dante – 1989) I know that this isn’t one of the best movies ever, but it is my of my absolute go-to movies when I want to turn my brain off and be entertained. I miss goofball Tom Hanks so much as I’m sure many of you do to. I love the fact that it uses the idea of perspective, where as we get to know Walt and the entire gang as lovable losers before we ever meet the family that they are trying to “out” as murderers. In fact, the Klopek’s never have a say in what is going on in the neighborhood. They are absent and meant to be feared by the people that we as viewers actually identify with. Then of course order is restored when we find out that the paranoid feelings of a neighborhood were actually completely founded and breaking into their home was legitimized. It’s such a ridiculous movie that I can never stop watching when it comes on TV and it always keeps me company when I’m sick.

Phantasm (Dir: Dan Coscarelli – 1979) The thing about the Phantasm series is that you either get it, or you don’t. I know that the previous statement may come off a little bit film snobby (just like using phrases like “film snobby”) but I’m not speaking about it as in there is a deep and meaningful subtext that you are too small minded to see. When I say you don’t get it, I mean that the film has a feeling to it. It’s impossible for me to explain. It a crazy and mixed up fantasy epic that pits completely inept heroes against The Tall Man, yellow goo, and some Jawa looking things to do a job that they are completely unprepared for. Some people watch this movie and say it has no artistic merit and it boring and useless, but the hardcore fans love every minute of it. Spending quality time with Reggie and the Tall Man is the sick equivalent of going out and having a few beers, and some hearty laughs with your best friends in the world. It’s always a good time because no matter how terrible your day was, you feel better after you’ve experienced Phantasm.

So there it is, five horror movies I like to crash out on the coach to during a half awake state of illness and cough medicine. Besides “The Price is Right”, what do you like to watch on a sick day? Do you have movies that remind you of staying out of school due to illness? Do you think British Nurses are the bee’s knees? Let’s hear it!

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