My Cast for the Re-animator Remake
Hollywood is going to keep making remakes of our favorite horror film classics whether we want them to or not. In bad economic times, corners have to be cut somewhere so why not take off some of that marketing cost and just remake a horror movie that already has a “built in” audience. Right? That always works…. Right? Morons. Anywho I figured that since there is nothing I can do to stop this films from being made and viewed by me, I thought that the time has come to start getting in on the action. No John Q Horrorfan, I’m not moving to Hollywood and making horror movies (bastards won’t buy my script, and it’s gold I tells ya! GOLD!) I’m talking about formulating my own personal dream cast to fill the casting roles in the inevitable upcoming remake of the Stuart Gordon shock-gore filled classic, Re-animator.
Role: Dean Alan Halsey Originally played by David Gale New Casting: John Slattery
John Slattery has been playing the character of Sterling Cooper on the hit TV series Mad Men for the last three years, where he plays a cocky, arrogant, and extremely intelligent co-owner of the Sterling Cooper Ad Agency. He oozes charisma out of every pore and pulls off just the right amount of arrogance to make his character crowd pleasing rather than a total intolerable dick. I think that he would do wonders if he was given a role like Dean Alan Halsey where he could easily pull off that Ivy League entitlement that comes with being a Dean at a prestigious medical school. Also, mix that with the fact that he gets to play a possessive father figure to his daughter Megan and you’ve got another layer that Slattery can work with. He’s a fine actor and although he may be a stranger to the genre, you just couldn’t pass up such a powerful role.
Megan Halsey Originally played by Barbara Crampton New Casting: Brea Grant
Some of you remember Brea Grant from her stint on Heroes as the little blonde Daphne that could run extremely fast. Us genre hounds however remember her more recently from Rob Zombie’s Halloween II where she played Laurie’s friend Mya. If she dyed her hair brown and let it grow out and she could be the perfect stand in for Barbara Crampton’s character Megan who was the wholesome daughter of the Dean and the girlfriend of Daniel. I never really bought her as a wild party girl in any of her roles, and I believe that something that let her really expose the more down to earth side of a character could be an easy role to fill. As far as the whole ending sequence… we’ll worry about that come contract time.
Daniel Cain Originally played by Bruce Abbott New Casting: Stark Sands
Many of you may not know who Stark Sands is, but that is completely OK because if there is any justice in the universe you will all know who he is soon. Sands played Lt. Nathaniel Fick in the highly acclaimed HBO miniseries Generation Kill, Bud in the Day of the Dead remake, and is now working on a musical theater performance of Bonnie and Clyde. Needless to say, the guy has got some range and doing a little bit of horror work here and there seems to be par for the course. He has the good all American boy looks and the intelligence to pull off a medical student who seemingly has everything in the world going for him. Of course as we all know, that is part of what makes the movie so great, it’s what becomes of Daniel. It’s all about the transformation which Stark Sands could pull off in spades.
Dr. Herbert West Originally played by Jeffery Combs New casting: Noah Segan
Hear me out on this one. Jeffery Combs is Herbert West. There is absolutely no way around that. It would be impossible to find a young actor to be the Herbert West that Jeffery Combs was and have it turn out good, and not like a hackneyed Jeffery Combs impression. So, I purpose that we give the role to an up and coming actor who we’re all familiar with in the genre. He played the main character in Cabin Fever 2 as well as J.T in the extremely disturbing film Dead girl. He has that perfect demeanor of being a very rational and sane human being, but with something a little bit off about him. He can play the creep factor up really high on this one while making the role his own. After seeing his acting chops on display as Dode in the exceptional film Brick, I’m pretty sure that Noah Segan could pull this part off with ease, but he has to be able to do it his own way.
So what do you think? Is my dream cast a great compilation of fantastic actors for the parts or is it a bunch of garbage? Who do you think should play the parts? Sound Off!