Black Christmas (2006) Review
Written by: TheDemon
2006's BLACK CHRISTMAS is a remake of the 1974 movie by the same name. The setup is something like this: escaped maniac returns to childhood home (which is now a sorority house) and starts killing characters that nobody really cares about.
The movie is rated R for gore (should have been for ridiculous) and for some tepid adult situations. In this classic example of horror-that-lays-an-egg we are given a group of babes who are all dumber than a box of rocks, have no personality, no acting ability, no social skills--I'm surprised they had opposable thumbs--and I, along with everyone else, are supposed to care about their plights? Again, this movie is so boilerplate (not to mention tedious) there should have been a fanfare of "DA-DA-DUM" after each character was introduced. And would someone please explain to something to me? How can ANYONE climb in your bedroom closet and you NOT know it? I can hear my dog fart in the next room, so I just cannot fathom an adult wriggling his way into my closet and me not know about it.
Andrea Martin (who starred in the original) appears as the house mother. Really, I think she just appeared to up the body count, but I digress. Glen Morgan directed this gigantically boring entry into "horror." Was it scary? No. Was I experiencing white knuckles while I watched? Well, yes; but that's because the bathroom lines were too long. Run time on the R version is 84 minutes; that's 84 minutes of snoozeville.