Night of the Living Dead 3D Review
Written by: DjfunkmasterG
Side Note! - I myself am a filmmaker and have taken some harsh critcism for my film, and I debated posting a review of this film, but I had to do it. I want to warn other Dead fans what they may be getting themselves into... These people have managed to tarnish the name Night of the Living Dead - Read On! SPOILERS GALORE
This movie is exactly that, laughable. This so called remake or whatever it is, does nothing but ruin not only the zombie genre, but puts a stain on the title Night of the Living Dead. Basically the movie starts off using the original night of the living dead playing on a TV screen and then slowly moves itself into present day where we find Barb and a very F U C K I N G annoying Johnny, whom constantly talks through his nose, on their way to a family funeral. On the way BARB receives text messages on her cell phone from her mom about their tardiness, yet 2 minutes later when they arrive and find the funeral site in disarray Barb is attacked by zombies, one being her mother. When Johnny gets attacked he gets bitten and drives off in his Mini Cooper leaving Barb to fend for herself.
Barb begins her run and ends up at TOVAR's mortuary where she finds a cache of corpses in decomposition and some walking around, including one eating a priest. She barricades herself inside a garage when suddenly a zombie flips open the door, as it is about to attack Sid Haig busts in and hits it in the head with a Shovel, then in pure comedic Capt. Spaulding fashion he informs young Barb (Don't call her Barbara) that... "As you can see Ms. we are having some issues today, so if you are here to visit a loved one you might wanna come back tomorrow. Meanwhile ths zombie he pitted in the noggin gets up and he begins hitting it again and calling it by it's name... saying Mr. So So, you don't want to behave like that, now stop that, and settle down.
Folks... it only gets worse from here. Barb now on the run again, runs into Ben, a white male early 20's, who takes her to a near by farm house owned and occupied by the Cooper family, a weed growing selling red neck bunch not willing to help because of the fear of the cops finding their stash. Not too mention they don't believe Barb because as they Watch NOTLD they laugh at it, and tell her someone *beep* must of gave her bad acid. When the zombies do invade it is only just a matter of minutes before the eye rolling begins. Out in the barn while the zombies attack the house, Tom and Judy have some wild sex. Lotsa o Boob Shots and Sex Scenes appear and suddenly during Judy's climax the zombies start heading for the barn. When they bust in on the very naked and horny couple Tom gets up to fight them off only to of course lose the battle. Judy barricades herself inside a pickup truck but doesn't close the back glass window and WHAM a zombie reaches in and bites out the back of her head getting himself some Brains.
the zombies, well there are 2 types, the silent slow ones and the ROTLD style whom talk and look normal like you or I, then blam suddenly full zombie make-up and ready to chomp your ass. Also, you find out the origins of the zombie outbreak. It is Sid Haig's fault. 60 minutes into the movie after a 50 minute absence he shows back up to explain it all. I am just going to stop here because this is a travesty to the genre. This film makes House of the Dead look stellar. I S H I T you not! No words can describe how bad it is, not too mention the lack of any decent gore. The acting and camera work are horrible. I mean this is just a few steps above those of us who churn out $10,000 zombie films.
If you want to watch a decent remake of Night besides the 1990 version, go watch Reese's version on Google Video. Otherwise stick to the Original and the 1990 remake. This is one turd that needs to be flushed. 2.5 out of 10