Lake Dead Review

3 out of 10 Skulls
Written by: jmh314   

Sometimes from the get go you can tell a movie might not impress all that much.  Something about it gives off a bad vibe that makes you wonder how bumpy a ride you are in for.  After Dark HorrorFest 2007's "8 Films to Die For" had a film that I could tell could be a tough finish and it's called Lake Dead.  Lake Dead is nothing more than a paint by numbers slasher film geared towards the MTV crowd that does very little right.  It provides a few laughs(unintentionally of course), shows very little to no originality, and has killers that look like the Geico Cavemen with a hatchet.  I hope Director George Bessudo saved a bunch of money on his car insurance because he's not gonna make any back with this deplorable film.

As Lake Dead opens we see an older man and woman who work at a motel arguing as the man says he will "no longer take part in this" and leaves.  On his way out of town he has an unexpected run in with a local sheriff.  It appears he doesn't have a good relationship with the sheriff and he yells at him and tells him to "get out of his way. Unfortunately for him the sheriff wasn't planning on letting him go he ended up finding his forehead on the wrong side of a bullet.

We soon come to find out that the man who was shot is the Grandfather of sexy sisters Brielle, Kelli and Sam.  None of the sisters knew they had a grandfather as their drunken father had told them he died before they were born.  After some skepticism it turns out he was really their grandfather and he left the motel he owned to the sisters. After paying their respects at their unknown grandfathers funeral, the sisters plan a trip to the motel and land to decide what to do with it.

What better way to make a 4 hour trip to the countryside to survey your newly inherited land than in an RV with friends?  Kelli and Brielle along with Brielle's fiancée Bob and 3 other friends pile in an RV for a weekend camping at their new place. The other sister Sam is already up there as she was going to get up there early and meet up with them when they arrived.  Unfortunately Sam arrives only to be killed and dropped to the bottom of the lake

Upon arriving at the run down motel, they meet a nice lady names Gloria who tells them a good place to go camping near the lake.  They ask if their other sister ever arrived the night before but Gloria says she hasn't seen anyone check in the motel in weeks.  Kelli and Brielle are worried but head on out to try and find the lake to relax and enjoy themselves.

After a little swimming in the lake (which includes their other sisters dead body), they decide to relax a bit.  Two of the friends go off into the woods together and for one reason or another don't come back soon.  Ben and Kelli go looking for them only to find one of them strung up in a tree.  As they run back to the RV and get everyone in to try and hurry out of there, they are attacked by two big crazy rednecks who look like the Geico cavemen.  They end up escaping and getting back to the motel but Gloria and the police don't seem to think there is anything to be worried about.  With no one on their side it is up to the remaining group members to stick together and try not to end up dead in the lake.

There is more to the plot than this as they try and add some crazy story lines about family and incest that is quite dumb.  Every time they try and make some sort of twist to the story it provides nothing more than a simple yawn.  The whole thing is out of whack and has no original vision or execution.  Take out the swearing and the sex/nudity and this is would e nothing more than a typically bad PG-13 slasher film.

One of the main problems is the whole story plays out like a bad episode of MTV's Road Rules.  Six gorgeous people traveling in an RV together, swearing, drinking beer and having sex.  The soundtrack fits this feel too as we get some uninspiring punk/emo music in a few scenes.  The dialog is absolutelely trashy too.  The one sister Sam says "fuck" in every sentence, which is even pointed out to her.  It is completely corny and like something a junior high kid would write because he thought swearing was "cool."  One set of dialog was so awful that I wrote it down out because I was completely dumbfounded and had to share it.   Between fiancées Ben and Brielle:  Brielle-"I dont know why I love you."  Ben: "Maybe cause I put you in my top 8."  Do we really need cheesy MySpace dialog like this?

To go along with the acting is pretty cheesy acting.  Were these really the best people they could find?  I am almost positive that half the cast was in this because they "looked good" not because of their skills.  The only really interesting performance was Pat McNeely who played the motel worker Gloria.  Kudos to her for being the uber-creepy old lady.  She has the grossest scene in the movie too and it isn't even a kill.  Without saying too much I'll just say this: tongue.  You'll know it when you see it.

The special effects and makeup in this film weren't good.  As previously stated the killers looked like the Geico cavemen.  Actually, the Geico Cavemen would probably be an improvement.  The kills in this film were terrible but thats probably because they all happen off camera.  All we get to see is the aftermath like a pool of blood or a slightly cut up guy hanging from a tree.  They did love their gunshot wounds to the head as I counted several of those but even those looked cheesy, almost like the ones you can get for Halloween costumes.

I really cant go on much more because I feel like an asshole for slamming a film.  But there is no denying that it's bad, so I have to come out and state the facts.  I didn't find anything original about it, most of it was extremely tacky as well as implausible, and it felt like nothing more than a thrown together film for a mainstream audience who wants nothing but some running in the woods with their T&A.  I know nudity happens in bad films like this, hell I am a fan of sex and nudity as much as the next guy, but can we get one of the hot chicks at least?  We get to see the haggard Tiffany Amber Thiessen wannabe nude and banging the fugly white trash friend, but there were 3 much hotter girls waiting in the wings.  They couldn't even the nudity right!  The bottom line is there isn't much working for Lake Dead.  They'd be better of just changing the title to plain old "Dead" because it will bore you to death.
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