Hatchet Unrated DVD Review
Written by: Meh
What Hatchet is, Hatchet is a throw back to classic Horror. What it is not, Its not a Horror film for mainstream fans. Its an hommage film. Fans of mainstream splashy horror that has played in the box office like Hills Have Eyes the remake and even I am Legend will likely hate this movie. Why? Because its a throw down gore fest and very little else.. just like the classic horror films that we were all raised on.
Once there was a boy named Victor Crowley. He was born hideously deformed, and sadly, folks weren’t too kind to him. So he spent most of his life hidden in his Daddy’s house out in the bayou. One Halloween night, the local children came throwing firecrackers at the house to tease and scare him. And the old Crowley house caught fire. When Victor’s Daddy arrived home, the house was in flames. He went to the barn, grabbed himself a hatchet, and started chopping down the front door. But what he didn’t know was that Victor was pressed up against the other side, trying to get out. He hit him square in the face with that hatchet... and poor Victor Crowley died.
The old man went into mourning and became a recluse after that. Never left the house. Never spoke to anyone. He finally passed away about ten years later. And that's when the stories started. They say people tend to disappear in that swamp. And if you get close enough to the old Crowley house at night you can still hear Victor Crowley. Still roaming in the woods. Still crying for his Daddy.
Hatchet isnt a bad movie at all. Its an excellent movie but I can see why it didnt get a major theatrical run. Mainstream audiences would likely yawn from opening to the end. It doesnt have witty dialogue, it doesnt have slick editing or deep characters. It has gore.. gore and more gore. I might add very well done gore. People hacked in two, jaws ripped off faces, people spiked, heads cut off with shovels and more....
Hatchet is written well with some pretty funny one liners but it lacks any deep writing. The acting is outstanding in the film for the most part with a cast of small names and some un-knowns. Hatchet does one thing very well which is what earns it such a high rank from me. It is a throw back. Folks who like Evil Dead and the likes will love this movie. Its got a body count, its got mutants, its got insane over the top gore, its got boobies, and it has your typical fare of shallow characters with some funny one liners tossed in here and there for salt and pepper. If you like mainstream horror you probably wont like this. If you like the original classics by greats like John Carpenter and Sam Raimi you will LOVE this movie and want to get it right away.