The Eye (2008) Review

Written by: TheDude   

The Eye is a remake of the Hong Kong scarefest, directed by two Frenchmen, that sets itself up for far too many "lost in translation" puns that , frankly, aren't worth coming up with. What we get is a bland story with a few chilling moments that adds up to disappointment.  It's not an atrocious movie, nor is it a horrible mess. (Even though it should be). But it is the one cardinal thing a movie of this ilk shouldn't be: It's boring.

Jessica Alba (my ex-girlfriend) portrays Sydney Wells, a blind concert violinist who undergoes surgery to restore her eyesight thanks to the eyes of a mystery donor.  She gets her sight back and starts to believe that life is a Tool video. That's what I got from the plot. The movie then alternates between scenes of her viewing a spooky world (sans Maynard Keenan dulcet tones) and her trying to convince people like her sister Parker Posey that she's seeing things, but nobody believes her. That's what the movie is about. Seriously. Back and forth.

Alessandro Nivola portrays the psychologist who's supposed to help Alba adjust to a world with site. He does a serviceable job as someone who has to follow the plot's logic of the non-belief into actual belief that Alba could actually possess the eyes of someone who... well, I wouldn't want to give away ALL of the movie now, would I? And it's not because the movie is so instantly forgettable that I've already forgotten what happens. I swear.

Oh, then there's one scene where Alba takes a shower behind a frosted glass window. It's not exactly sexy, and may be the most gratuitous use of non nudity committed to celluloid. Which sounds impossible, but true.

While there are moments of effective creepiness (Tool videos tend to scare me more than most horror flicks these days, anyway), the overall tone and plotting of the whole affair just doesn't work. And as much as it pains me to admit it, Alba can't properly convey what the character is going through. Certainly not while making silly faces in a mirror. But, damn, is she pretty to look at. Posey and Nivola do what they can, but they seem to feel a little let down by everything that's happening as well.

You know something? Watching The Eye, one sympathizes with the plight of Sydney Wells. As she sees things from her eyes' previous owners, I felt I was watching this movie through the eyes of someone else. Somebody who saw the original Eye, The Eyes of Laura Mars, and Blink, but forgot what they were about. But at least they had the good sense to imagine Jessica Alba in the lead. Then that person flipped the channel and caught part of Final Destination. Not being able to make sense of the images before you provides a few shock jumps that add up to nothing. And then it's all over just as quick as it started.