Killer Pad (2006) Review

Written by: prddad   

Alright, no one hate me for this review, but I'm about honesty, and I have to give it where it is due. This movie sucked. I'm sorry, I said it, I can see everything that could have been right with this movie, but I saw all that was wrong and realized that my brain cells were oozing out of my head each time I blew my nose from my cold. I'm sorry, it's the truth...

Plot...was there really one? Ok, fine, I’ll tell: 3 young adults leave Illinois (fucking thank god) and go to California, in search of fame, money, and sex. Their deposit for a perfect apartment gets foiled due to the owner not allowing dogs. So, they see a realitor, who offers them this one of a kind, fully furnished residence. They accept it, and from there they realize that they are living in a home that is the gateway to hell…Alright, with that said and done, I realiy didn’t expect much, but for christ’s sake, I expected something!!! The story was terrible, the characters were plain and one dimensional, and the humor in this movie could probably make a 6 year old laugh until they shit their pants, but this movie isn’t intended for adults. Come on, as the DVD cover said, “Brought to you by a producer of DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR”. “A producer”? How fucking secretive can you be about him??? What was he, the last guy on the list of producers, the one there we normally fast forward past since nowadays, movies tend to have a dozen producers!!!...

Acting…oh, oh, this one is good. NO ONE here can act to save their lives. A porn star, out of breath, just off of a full day of shooting and getting fucked, has more acting skills than ANYONE in this movie. A limp dick has more skills. For christ’s sake, I can’t think of anything positive about the acting in this movie. Was the goal of everyone to be stupid? I didn’t look, but was there even a casting agent put on this movie? Robert Englund, you are truly the man, but you must have been drinking when you were watching this movie, otherwise…Come on Robert, you have NEVER been in a piece of shit. No, wait, you have, but at least they knew how to act!!! No wonder you didn’t show up, even as a cameo. Hell, I WOULDN’T!!!...

• Nudity…the three hot chicks that showed up, yes, I would have enjoyed it, but still, IT SUCKED!!!...
• Gore…hahahhahahahahahahhahahahah, yeah right…
• Scares…just the fact that someone actually paid money to get this movie made!!!...
• CGI…if there was any, it was poorly done…

Bottom line…this movie can turn any person with high intelligence into a bumbling idiot. I wasted my time, don’t waste yours