Blood Car Review
Written by: deadhorse13
Every so often the b-movie world jettisons upon our unsuspecting heads little gems of absurdity. While viewing Blood Car I couldn't help think of little films that "could" such as Basket Case, Bad Taste, Frankenhooker, Eating Raoul and the like. In serving up equal parts social commentary and satirical farce, this slapstick horror film never takes its tongue too far out of its cheek to let you overthink its flaws. Amateurish acting, check. Low production values, check. Spirited and good-naturedly offensive, check. Shits and grins, you betcha.
We are set up with the premise that in the not-too-distant-future gas prices have soared to over 30 dollars a gallon resulting in the population retiring their vehicles en masse. Enter one Archie Andrews, earnest kindergarten teacher by day and tree-hugging vegan by night with dreams of solving the transportation crisis by developing an engine fueled by wheatgrass. Unfortunately his efforts have up until now been fruitless which finds our subject disillusioned and preoccupied. Firmly in Archie’s corner is the cute, bubbly wheatgrass peddler Lorraine played enthusiastically by Anna Chlumsky of My Girl fame who spends her time daydreaming of our eccentric entrepreneur. Much to her chagrin she finds she has to contend her time with the car-loving nymphomaniac Denise, who runs the Meat Stand across the lot.
After a night of binge drinking Archie inadvertently cuts himself, allowing his own blood to accidentally mix in with the wheatgrass resulting in a successful ignition. Realizing the true source of his project’s success he quickly takes a carpet cutter to his own arm to get the wheels rolling if you will. Posed with the difficult task of ignoring his personal ethics for the betterment of the human race, Archie finds himself modifying his car with a human blood delivery system installed discreetly into the trunk.
When Denise shows our vegetable loving Archie her talents with his meat stick, he begins to lose his innocence and sanity and stops at nothing to quench her desire for the open road.
Meanwhile unknown federal
agents are monitoring Archie’s every move to find the secret behind his
alternative fuel or as I’d like to coin, his arterial fuel. Among the gory gags
we lay privy to are an innocent hitchhiker lured by the promise of puppies in
the trunk, the propelling inadequacies of artificially-limbed vets, and a hilariously
over the top sequence involving Archie’s poor unsuspecting dog and a BB-gun. To
further tickle your pink the film offers up a liberal dose of sex and the occasional
nod to other films (the Last Tango in
All things considered Blood Car never overstays its welcome during
its brief 76 minute runtime. Directed with fervent panache by rookie director Alex
Orr, you can tell the crew and cast has squeezed the most out of its meager
budget and has had fun doing it. Awards go to our two female leads: Katie Rowlett as
Denise the Meat-Stand girl who delivers lines like “put a taco in my mouth and
dick in my ass” with zeal, and Anna Chlumsky who loses her innocence and consequently
all feeling below the neck in this little tale of blood, sweat and tears.
If you have a soft spot for absurd cinema in the Troma vein then you might want to give the Blood Car a spin…it’s a story about society, a story about YOU!
3 stars.