Halloween - Resurrection Review
Written by: Chad Langen
Michael Myers meets Big Brother in this sad excuse for a sequel that's indisputably one of the worst horror films of the new millennium. The cast is more than lifeless if not just plain insulting, the script is manifested with awful humor, and last but most certainly not least, the setting is more blunt than Michael's blade in this scabbed over-should-be-direct-to-video pile of cow dung.
The film opens in an asylum where Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) has been permanently placed do to the beheading of a police officer in which (if you've seen Halloween: H20) we've come to learn was mistakenly identified as her psychopathic brother. Laurie gives a seemingly endless and rather dreary narration about how when you die there's a light at the end of some tunnel. Whatever though. That's not really important. What's important is that Michael is returning to Haddon Field, but first must take a detour to the asylum. Laurie soon finds herself staggering through the halls of the asylum and somehow ends up on the roof where she meets a tragic demise thus Jamie Lee Curtis's character no longer exist. See, the series got so absurd even the heroin was begging to die.
Continuing on with the story we are introduced to a group of college students who have apparently won the chance to be filmed live in the childhood home of the infamous serial killer Michael Myers. This is where the story loses interest. The group of kids become The Rugrats and begin exploring every aspect of the house. Meanwhile, the couple responsible for the contest sits in an attic area watching the group like some sadistic psychopaths themselves. Its all fun and games until Michael discovers the party is being thrown without him thus the bodies begin dropping.
I can't begin to stretch the fact of how stupid this film is. I thought Halloween III: Season of the Witch was bad, this is tens times worse. If horror films to date are all about a big cast and an extremely large budget to waste then someone please shoot me dead. This is not why I watch horror films. The scare factor seen in the earlier Halloween films (this not counting any of the films past Halloween II) is never present. Most of the time the deaths are the most entertaining scenes to see, though in Halloween: Resurrection they weren't even worth viewing.
As I stated earlier in this review the cast is as lifeless as a tree branch. Even Jamie Lee Curtis's character was rather relentless. I'll admit that 94% of the female body visible throughout the flick were ridiculously attractive and the other 6%, well they were just plain attractive. But let's be reasonable, that's only part of the reason we males watch horror films. What's the other part you ask? Well that would be to see an original piece of work and as if I haven't constantly reminded you in every other line of this review, originality is most definitely not present in Halloween: Resurrection. In fact, the story is simply another Post-Scream flick only we already know who the killer is. There's the teen cast, the horrid dialogue, a flash of breasts here and there, and well you get the point.
The story is bogus, the acting is lame, and unfortunately that means we could expect nothing better from the director. For a setting taking place is an area as little as a two story house you'd think there would at least be some effort in the direction. You guessed it, there most certainly isn't. Actually there's a scene in the film in which Michael does a little camera action that looked higher in quality than the actual film itself.
Movie trailers can be deceiving and I out of all people should know not to let Halloween Resurrection's fool you. The film as a whole is just plain awful. There's absolutely no point in watching this whether you're thinking about renting it or even if it's on a local television station. Save your time for something more entertaining, like Jason X perhaps. At least there was some creativity there. I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone. You've been warned.