Christine (1983) Review
Written by: Gardenofstone10
I am a huge Stephen King fan, having read almost all of his books/shorts and seeing/owning most of his movies. This is the only movie/book I haven't seen/read. I will be writing this whilst watching it all for the first time.
We start the movie off with a seemingly freak accident where a man's hand is slammed shut in a car's hood. Then a random black guy smoking a cigar is killed inside the car. One and a half fatalities within the first 5 minutes of the movie, I'll bite, looks good. And it takes place in Detroit, my hometown, so only carries my interest more.
I'm already noticing a faux paux with the movie. This is supposed to take place in the 50's and everyone is wearing clothes from the 80's and hairstyle from the 80's. Of course, for a horror movie, they try to be timeless, but it's hard to look past. Now I am realizing it is set in the late 70's, early 80's, so I'm not going to delete what I said as I'm figuring this all out as the movie goes, so this is a first impression review instead of a looking back review.
Man there are ugly people in this movie. Two notes, one, the annoying counselor from Friday the 13th part two (the one who says Welcome to God's Country) is still ugly in this movie. Then, the fight scene with the knife, since when is choking someone and grabbing their balls an offensive manuver. The guy selling Christine is the dude from Home Alone who kills people and mummifies them with salt.
Arnie is a wuss and is slowly ruining the movie for me. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt because I hope he gets killed later on.
Fast forward a little bit, Arnie makes crappy car look like a champ, and things start to happen. Arnie's girl choked in the car, didn't die, but freaked out totally. Then the thugs with bad haircuts sneak into the garage to destroy Christine, OH NO. The boys really do a number on poor old Christine. Arnie has become possessed by the car, having a complete meltdown attacking his cute girl and his parents.
DUDE, WHO CHOKES THEIR DAD, WTF. Christine basically undoes the damage done with some pretty sweet effects for the early 80's. The fat boy is dead praised the lord. And so it was, fat man is no more.
Okay, so Arnie is creepy, a bad actor and tries to be/look like Sylvester Stallone. It bothers me, but again, I'm hoping for his death later in the movie, maybe the angels will answer my call.
Now the movie gets interesting . He's completely losing it with this cockiness that is ruining all his relationships, and getting the cops to sniff around where they don't belong. OH MY GOD AFRO ALERT. That's what you get for having an afro, death by ramming cars and explosions.
Seriously guys, the graphics in this movie and effects are really as good as they are today, only today you can tell when CGI is doing the effects. I drive a Honda not a Chrystler because of this movie, at least that's what I tell myself now, haha.
Alright, what Arnie does with his eyes, I want to meet the actor who played him and just slap him until his eyes fall out of his head, it's creepy and terribly acted at the same time, a perfect mix for 80's horror.
When Christine comes out of nowhere in what I can only assume is the final showdown of the film, that was pretty intense. God granted my wish and killed Arnie and the world is a better place. This chick just keeps standing in the way, WALK SIDEWAYS WOMAN!!!! I love the ending with the grill almost smiling.
Alright the movie is over, I hope you all enjoyed my play by play review, it's a little different, but enjoy. All in all, I REALLY enjoyed the movie and can honestly say that this rental will be returned, and I will buy it when I see it in stores. Well, goodnight and be well, Peace