Against the Dark (2008) Review

Written by: prddad   

I grew up watching action movies. Horror was #1, but action came very close. I enjoyed the martial arts, the explosions. Horror scares you, action makes you want to run out and take down drug cartels by yourself. Then, it seems at the stroke of midnight, the year 2000, everyone of my action heroes I grew up with all changed. They all got...old. Yes, I know, I studied biology. We all have to die, that's inevitable, but don't we normally die at the height of most of our lives? As an actor, is it a good thing to have your career die before you? Oh, I'm rambling on. Been up since 2:30...

Plot---infection spreads, government quarantines the areas, and civilians known as 'hunters' take out the infected since there is no cure. Now, a group of survivors are trying to make it out of an abandoned hospital and to one of the nearby camps before the whole area is 'neutralized', aka "blown-to-shit"...basic premise, but I have to stop. Again, this review might go in random directions due to my lack of sleep, but in the end, it is truthful: this movie sucked. I have no clue what the hell was going on most of the time, and stopped it a few times to wake myself up because I actually started to go to sleep (my new addiction: Guitar Hero. Laugh all you want :) ). Action was random, the movement of the movie was inconsistant. Hell, you can tell when something was going to happen without the music changing: just watch the characters. If they are moving fast thru the scene, nothing will happend. If they slow down, someone is going to be attacked. It's these inconsistancies that made me realize: I was dumb for paying for this rental...

Acting---Steven Seagal. I would make comments, but quite frankly, your direct-to-video movies as of late says it all. Hey, I don't knock the fact that people still rent your movies. I only rented this because it was horror. I've learned my lesson: watch the earlier movies, back when you were 50 pounds less and can lift a sword. Sorry Steven, but you don't look as cool as you did when you had the sword, cutting people. Now, it's just a prop...like the ponytail. Jenna Harrison is also here, from, uh, who cares, she's cute...

Director---Richard Crudo. He's been an assistant his whole life. He should have stayed that way...

Nudity---none. Well, plastic body parts from women who died and were stripped naked for the infected to feast. Sorry, I don't count that...

CGI---blood squirting is the extent. Should have used some of that to make Seagal thinner...

Gore---not really...

Scares---ha, yeah right...

Bottom line---there are other things to do with your time here on earth. Watching this is not one of them...