Return of the Living Dead Review
Written by: gothiczen
What is it exactly about a canister filled to the top with a noxious canister and a corpse that makes people want to be around it? Return of the Living Dead is the perfect zombie movie that takes its scares seriouly and its comedy tongue through rotted cheek.
Punk Freddy gets a job at the UNEEDA MEDICAL SUPPLY (clever, oh my goodness yes - as clever as zombie on a walkie-talkie. Just wait - got a little ahead of myself there). His punk friends decide to have a punk party at the cemetery that just happens to be close by. When one of the workers spills the real story of Night of the Living Dead the fun truly begins. A medical corpse comes to life in one of the funniest self-reflexive moments in film history as, after beheading the corpse in a side splitting wrestling match, Freddy wails, "You mean the movie lied?" For you see, these are no wimpy Romero take-the-head-off-and-they-die-zombies. Oh no. You cannot KILL these zombies, becuase, you see, they are already dead. This leads to some beautiful moments of human - versus zombie violence that is a beauty to behold.
Why do I love this film - let me count the ways:
1) Linnea Quiqley dancing naked on a grave.
2) Linnea Quiqley dancing on a grave. (Yeah - so I said it twice. If you have watched this movie you will know why it is my top two)
3) For the tar-man zombie.
4) For the arm that grabs.
5) For the "send more cops" zombie
6) For the "send more paramedics" zombie.
7) For the legless running zombie (oh yes)
8) For the line "Hit the brain, the brain".
9) FOr the zombie that says eating brains "Stops the pain of being dead".
10) For the existential irony of Freddy and friend becoming living-dead zombies
11) For the redhead that never pops her top (damnit)
12) For Linnea Quiqley getting her death wish.
13) For nuclear weapons.
14) Because every moment is perfect.
15) Because Linnea Quiqley shows up NAKED and DEAD.
16) For the twitcing, spinal fluid dripping, screaming half zombie
17) For the line "Tina, I love you. Now let me eat YOUR BRAINS".
18) For the soundtrack.
19) For Clu Gallgher
20) For not being Return of the Dead Part 2.
This is the one, Ladies and Gentlemen. The monters are scary, the characters are engaging, and the gore is as beautiful as a slowly dying zombie sunset.