Machete Review

9 out of 10 Skulls
Written by: Meh   

Viva Machete! Robert Rodrriguez is back and once again he is kicking ass and taking names in his own unique way with his latest grindhouse film MACHETE. Right up front I was really nervous since online buzz has been mixed and the theatre I was in was completely empty. It is never a good sign of the street buzz when you walk into a theatre that is empty to see a movie, although in fairness the studio didn’t exactly clammer to advertise the film online.

I almost saw MACHETE alone in the Galaxy Theater I went to but at the last minute 3 other people walked in. So rather than seeing MACHETE alone I got to experience the awesome intensity that was with 3 other people in the room. The way I look at it if you didn’t go see Machete Friday you missed out!

Danny Trejo stars as Machete a man who was decent living a decent life. Now he is a brutal savage who must slaughter to stay alive. Machete knows the score, he gets the women, and he kills the bad guys. Danny Trejo stars in his first lead role as the title character in this action-packed exploitation feature co-written, produced and directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis and inspired by the fake trailer released with 2007’s Grindhouse.

Robert Rodriguez has once again hit cinematic gold with his latest venture which is a perfect combination of intense action, extreme violence, b-movie sillyness and features some of the hottest faces in cinema now and then. Jessica Alba steams up the screen as an ICE agent out to hunt down Machete and Michelle Rodriguez who typically I do not describe as ‘sexy’ also smokes things up a a Taco stand operator helping illegal Mexicans and ‘The Network’.

The premise is simple, Mr Booth played by Michael Benz hires Machete to kill Texas Senator McLaughlin played by Robert Deniro and things go to hell in a hand bag fast when Machete is double crossed and hunted down by the Police, a Mexican Drug Lord ( played by Steven Segal ) the local gangsters and ICE agents. The whole film spins tightly to an action packed ending which clearly demonstrates Danny Trejo’s best line in the film. They f**ked with the wrong Mexican!

Robert mixes a unique style of ‘grind house’ filmmaking with a stellar cast and incorporates past actors that have worked with him before including Tom Savini legendary FX artist and talented genre actor, and the one punch wonder Steven Segal. Machete is tongue in cheek action, over the top grindhouse violence with heads rolling, arms flopping and blood spurting everywhere. Machete is many things but un-original and cliché it is not. Machete delivers an action packed blood splattered experience that fans have grown to expect from Robert Rodriguez with strong direction and a great story that fits the overall vibe and tone of the film.

If you loved Grindhouse you will love Machete. It has a well thought out story with a perfect mix of b-movie insanity, hot chicks, Jessica Alba naked in a Shower and a fantastic tongue in cheek role for Lindsay Lohan that involves drugs, her naked in a pool and three way sex with her mom and also... let us not forget.. Danny Trejo as MACHETE.  Machete is one of the funnest films of the year for testosterone rich males who like their action movies intense, gorey and executed with immense talent which Robert Rodriguez delivers once again. A must see.

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