House of the Dead Review

Written by: AshtonButcher   

Horror fans everywhere, beware the name Uwe Boll. Stay away. 'House of Steaming Pile of Shit',is a more suitable title. This is  a sad excuse for any kind of movie. Just shite. I saw a trailer and thought it was worth a look. How wrong was I. The acting is sub basment excrement level, the fx are pretty lame, the plot...what plot, the whole thing, just why,why even bother. Im sure no horror fans were pleased with this waste of time and money.

I can sum up the whole movie by one horrible scene. The characters are trying to get past a grave yard to the house of the dead to take cover, the entire scene is rerun footage of shooting zombies(nothing special in this case) for a good straight 10 minutes while a shitty(I mean shitty) obnoxious rock/metal song plays (the whole song, not just a clip) in the background. At this point in the film I blew chunks at the tv screen a la Linda Blair style, and turned of the dvd player.

Then I got a phone call that said "7 days" and I fell into a well with a little dead girl.....oh wait... that was a good movie. House of the Dead is the opposite. Stay away at all costs, and dont waste time seeing the sequel ( how that happened is an unsolved mystery). No severed thumbs for this garbage.