I don’t even know where to start with this one. Honestly, I would have turned this one off about half way through, but I couldn’t stop.
I couldn’t stop watching because I think Im some kind of masochist. I literally enjoy the equivalent of pouring bleach in my eyes and sticking forks into my ears. This movie is audio/visual rape. It is mindcrime. It is a loathsome, empty, and vile. So I must hate myself, since I continued to watch this atrocity.
The film starts out with a family, moving out into the middle of nowhere, to a church parish. The father has been accepted as the new pastor of the church in town. They are welcomed by the entire town on move-in day, and everyone introduces themselves by helping the family move in. everyone seems very nice…too nice. Things start going downhill from here for our family. This town isn’t what it seems to be….
What is this town, if it isn’t what it seems to be?
I have no idea.
Mostly because they left out an important part of the movie: Explaining the plot.
And I don’t mean that the film makers left it purposefully ambiguous, so you can make up your own mind as to what happened. No, I mean I don’t get it. Nothing gets explained. There is possession, demons, portals to hell, some kind of cult, human sacrifice and evil churches. These are all cool ideas, however, they never get explained. It actually pisses me off, even now, when I think back and try to put the pieces together. It makes me want to punt babies.
You know what doesn’t suck? The soundtrack! The film was produced by Slash (of Guns and Roses fame) and he also composed a lot of the soundtrack. This is why i gave the film a “1” rating. Slash also produced this movie, likely because he didn’t have anything else better to do that day. The song at the end credits is really good.
The acting is actually ok, also. No one here is Oscar worthy by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s passable.
I also noticed that the movie takes place in the 90’s or before, as no one has cell phones/GPS. The cars are older. This is never mentioned though, it was just an observation on my part.
Now lets get the biggest gripe I have with this movie: The (not so) special effects. Not only are they lacking in imagination, but they are also poorly done, with CGI for the most part. There IS one single scene that features actual prosthetics, and it looked amazing! But they only use it for one brief scene in the movie. What a disappointment.
The rest of the effects look like they were:
- Created by Microsoft paint.
- Crafted by either monkeys, a Kardashian, or members of congress.
- Edited by blind, epileptic beavers on LSD.
I am so damn tired of the “blacked out eyes and mouth” effect that horror films are downright exploiting these days. Come up with something original, guys.
I am a pretty smart guy. This movie certainly didn’t go over my head. It just sucks. Disappointed wasnt even the word, when the credits started to roll. It was blind rage. I screamed and yelled (and it scared the hell out of my cats) at the TV. I threw the DVD out of a moving car later that day. Before it hit the ground, a giant hawk snatched it up and took it away to an active volcano and dropped it in.
Seriously, though. They cant all be amazing. You have to take the turds, with the masterpieces.