I Watched the RoboCop Trailer . . . and I’m Disgusted.


I watched the RoboCop trailer . . . and I’m disgusted.

The Hollywood machine has no shame. Next, they’ll be remaking Die Hard which will include up-to-date alterations such as a dead terrorist with a t-shirt that reads,

“Now I have a machine gun. LOL.”

The first thing that sucks ass about the Robocop trailer is that it ruins Alex Murphy’s demise. In the current version, Alex will be murdered via car bomb. In the original, he was tortured by a gang. You remember – some sick bastards blow his hand off with a shotgun, after which Clarence Boddicker asks, “Can somebody give him a hand?” Damn, I miss those 80’s one-liners so.

Then, Alex gets up and they shoot his arm off! Clarence shouts, “You should’ve worn better ARM-ER!” (He didn’t really say that.) There won’t be that sort of violence in this film because it’s PG f-ing 13!

In the 1987 cut, Robocop goes to his old house and finds that his family has moved on. The audience is shown memories of his wife and son. Sniff. There was some sentimentality in this scene without the cornball-factor. The remake stinks of sappiness.

Clara Murphy’s voice demands to Robocop,”You need to spend more time with your son!” Robocop doesn’t read The Very Hungry Caterpillar, you b****! I have a sinking feeling that there will be lots of hugs and kisses between Robocop and his family before the credits roll. Blat!

Robocop’s new gear looks like it was designed by Steve Jobs and apparently, he can now leap like Spiderman.

Speaking of remakes and bad ideas, Jackie Earle Haley (I’m still upset about A Nightmare on Elm Street) has a role in this; however, what had me excited for a fleeting moment was seeing Michael Keaton. Awesome! Wait, he only has a minor role as some nerd-type OmniCorp employee. If Michael Keaton were cast as Alex Murphy, I might be able to overlook the lack of comedy, the poor CGI and Samuel L. Jackson playing Samuel L. Jackson.

My initial impression after viewing the trailer is that Hollywood is ready to spit on another classic.

[springboard type=”video” id=”869953″ player=”hmca001″ width=”610″ height=”400″ ]


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      1. Donald Occhipinti January 30, 2014 at 2:38 pm

        Don’t base it on the trailer…see the movie first then give us your feedback

        • Marc Hughes
          Marc Hughes January 31, 2014 at 1:51 am

          Why??? I’m so tired of people defending crap like this remake with the oooh go pay them your money first so that if and or when in the case of this turd it doesn’t matter because they already got your cash for their shit movie…This remake looks god awful in almost every way…Not even getting into the fact that it’s PG-13, which is part of exactly what killed Robocop 3…..I’m tired of studios taking R rated franchises and shitting all over them because Little Jimmy has to be able to get in

      2. Mike Hoss January 30, 2014 at 2:40 pm

        Exactly. I don’t give a shit what you thought of a trailer. Watch the film in whole before starting the nerd rage.

        • Josh Hurwitz
          Josh Hurwitz January 30, 2014 at 3:58 pm

          yeah okay. except every time this happens and I reserve judgment until watching the films they all turn out shitty inferior shells of the originals. trying to appeal to my nostalgia and they just end up pissing in it for profit instead of being original. last straw was total recall. fuck that shit.

        • Paul Slater
          Paul Slater January 30, 2014 at 4:05 pm


      3. Roger Durkin January 30, 2014 at 2:41 pm

        Promo’s good but fed up of Samuel ” in everything Jackson”!!!!!

      4. Christopher Thomas January 30, 2014 at 2:44 pm

        Even if it ends up being somewhat decent, it will still be a pg-13 sci-fi action movie with all the generic clichés and none of what makes Robocop, Robocop. None of the satirical material will be left in. The only thing I’ve seen in that vein is them basically knocking the original film with in-jokes that just pissed me and other fans off.

      5. Richard Goellnitz January 30, 2014 at 2:45 pm

        looks like a kid friendly Robocop,looks truly awful

      6. Doug Diaz January 30, 2014 at 2:54 pm

        This remade it’s a joke! Not watching that shit

      7. Colin Siwiec January 30, 2014 at 2:57 pm

        Im sick of all these remakes especially of movies that r only 20 yrs old or so and movies that just don’t need remade in general

      8. Beth Basimah Mitchell January 30, 2014 at 3:02 pm

        I saw the trailer – it’s a different film but I’ll keep an open mind until I see it… I’m not expecting the same humour and social messages… Hobo with a a Shotgun did that though, I think …

      9. Jack White January 30, 2014 at 3:03 pm

        There remaking poltergeist too fucking butchers

      10. Michael Falzarano January 30, 2014 at 3:06 pm

        Looks like a bad robocop but an awesome metal gear solid

      11. Brandon Anusbigian January 30, 2014 at 3:08 pm

        Yeah it should not be pg 13 I loved watching the villian melt an splat in the first…..sick freak…and not to mention how he is torchered ….just a great movie series..I’ll still watch an buy it eather way..

      12. Brandon Anusbigian January 30, 2014 at 3:10 pm

        Metal gear solid^ looks like robocop…lol oh an check out the reboot ninja turtles…can’t wait

      13. Matt Johnson January 30, 2014 at 3:30 pm

        To me, it’s more a matter of “If this were a new product, would I go see it?” and based on this trailer the answer is no. It looks like something SyFy might put on. Still love Keaton though.

      14. draperyfalls925 January 30, 2014 at 3:36 pm

        Just don’t watch it and you wont have to worry. And it’s ” you need to talk to your son “

      15. Johnny Martinez January 30, 2014 at 3:40 pm

        horrible remake!

      16. Travis Shaw January 30, 2014 at 3:45 pm

        After reading these comments, I can see why most directors are okay with doing remakes; people will watch anything.

      17. Josh Hurwitz January 30, 2014 at 3:55 pm

        looks so fucking bad. look… the new actor is okay on The Killing, but this bullshit. No one tops Peter Weller as RoboCop. and a fucking car explosion? that was such an iconic scene when he gets killed by gangsters at the beginning. the style is not gritty enough. I could go on…..

      18. Josh Hurwitz January 30, 2014 at 3:56 pm

        I won’t buy that remake for a dollar

      19. William Laur January 30, 2014 at 4:00 pm

        Sorry but I think it looks cool. Everyone’s acting like Robocop was a classic film or something. It wasn’t the best movie in the first place. This visually looks great. I’ll give it a chance.

      20. Tiago January 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        Yeah, I get where you are coming from. I have my doubts too. But Padilha is a great director, I also know the works of Daniel Rezende, the editor, that guy is awsome. I am going to give it a shot when it comes out.

      21. Dave January 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        I disagree. I give them a lot of credit for changing the story. Now neither of us have seen the remake yet, so we need to hold off final judgement until then. But far too often today Hollywood pushes out remakes that are nearly line for line remakes. I’m glad Robocop is not going to be like that.

      22. Steven Delaney January 30, 2014 at 4:20 pm

        They made Murphy a Cyborg with feelings. WTF!! The Murphy of the original was about the conflict of machine vs his humanity. Plus he just lifts his viser at will. More man then machine this time. Wrong wrong…

      23. Sal Ciavarello January 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      24. Monique Jacobs January 30, 2014 at 4:39 pm

        me too, remakes are just to make money these days they don’t put art in it..

      25. Jeremy Johnson January 30, 2014 at 4:49 pm

        GET OFF MY LAWN!

        • Horror-Movies.ca
          Horror-Movies.ca January 30, 2014 at 10:31 pm

          you pretty much summed it up well 😛

      26. Patrick Austin McDaniel January 30, 2014 at 5:03 pm

        Most pf the bad points in the review are saying “this is nothing like the 80s version” it’s a remake not a copy, the mainstream crowd’s taste in movies has evolved in the past 25 years, of course it’s not going to be the same, as for the less gore aspects, you have the bastards at the mpaa to thank, most gorey older movies, if released now would probably be rated like a NC-17

      27. Nicholas Gardner January 30, 2014 at 5:20 pm

        Looks fuckin terrible…shame on them for making it…a trailer is supposed to show the “best bits” of a movie i thought so on that note…fuck it…

      28. Kendall Keeling January 30, 2014 at 5:28 pm

        It’s PG-13. That told me everything I needed to know.

      29. Chuck January 30, 2014 at 5:35 pm

        Who keeps thinking that putting Sam Jackson in everything is a good idea. The guy is a one trick pony. Even his credit card commercials are him doing him.

      30. Timothy Camilleri January 30, 2014 at 5:50 pm

        Then let’s not see it. Not even out of morbid curiosity. Just like I did with the Total Recall remake.

        • Marc Hughes
          Marc Hughes January 31, 2014 at 1:54 am

          Thats why you pirate it……I refuse to support R rated franchises becoming PG-13 shells. Just like I refuse to support PG-13 horror….I pirated World War Z and still thought the studio owed me money for watching that….

        • Robert February 9, 2014 at 4:11 pm

          @Mark Hughes Knock it off with the “PG13 can’t be horror” BS. There are tons of older & classic horror films that would now be the equivalent of PG13, PG & maybe a few even G.

          Saying newer horror films suck is entirely different and not just/only because of a rating.

      31. Brad Amanda Wagoner January 30, 2014 at 6:39 pm

        Whoa that’s where I draw a line. The new total recall was awesome and so was evil dead , also nightmare on elm st was pretty good too, so quit bashing these perticular movies.. but yes robot cop remake totally bad idea…..

      32. Topher Schick January 30, 2014 at 7:47 pm

        ITZ JUST NOT LIKE THE FIRST!!!!!!!!!!

      33. Matt Freeman January 30, 2014 at 8:31 pm

        fuck this piece of shit movie

      34. Raul TheMexican Carbajal January 30, 2014 at 9:19 pm

        I’m stoked for it! It’s not going to beat the original because that one was just brutal for the time but the CGI is just going to be insane!

      35. Paul Rose January 30, 2014 at 9:23 pm

        Original one will still always be the best,was looking forward to it,as recent remakes batman,etc have been good,but this nah blu ray bargain bin buy i reckon

      36. Matthew Brandford January 31, 2014 at 2:05 am

        It was ‘ok’ but , for me, not a patch on the original and borrowed so much from what is to me a fan favourite cult movie to hold any originality. But that’s just my opinion.

      37. William Ryan January 31, 2014 at 3:27 am

        Go ahead and delve out hate for this movie. But against Jackie Earle Haley??? Sure, the Nightmare remake wasn’t that good, but he’s a great actor besides that. Even in Nightmare he did what he was told to do.

      38. David Luke January 31, 2014 at 3:41 am

        Actually RoboCop IS a classic movie. Sure Criterion collection is a brand like any other, but it carries gravitas for me because of Akira Kurosawa.

      39. Timothy Camilleri January 31, 2014 at 8:32 am

        They’re trying to sap money from the Robocop name along with making him a mix of Batman and Iron Man. The visor? The Black Suit? It’s roboCOP not RoboSWAT. He’s not meant to dodge bullets, he’s meant to be shot repeatedly so that others don’t. He’s a big shiny distracting tank who shoots rapists in the dick who has to fight his programming to find his humanity again. They fucked with the entire point of it. All the people saying “it was good for its time” can f off. It’s good for THIS time. Better than the mush we get continuously feed. The only film that felt like it captured the original and updated it was Evil Dead. You can’t update a Paul Verhoeven movie, you can only downgrade it. You can only make it tamer, lamer, and with less of a political message.

      40. JarJar February 1, 2014 at 4:37 am

        It is not like the remake is made, and now everyone involved is telling you to forget the first one existed. Get off your fucking high horses and give a movie a chance. I am a huge fan of Halloween and wasn’t excited that they were remaking it. What we got was a movie that was no way near the original but guess what. I always could watch the original when I wanted to. Stop being little pussies, change your tampons, and give the movie a chance.

      41. Mama Cat (@CKscullycat) February 3, 2014 at 3:59 pm

        Two words that make me want to see it no matter what: Joel Kinneman.

      42. Tiago February 3, 2014 at 5:55 pm

        Dude, I just read an article on a brazilian magazine about the movie, and would like to share with you guys:
        The movie got and 82% approval at the screening test. The director’s cut was left untouched, and more they required that Padilha shot his original intended end, which is a sign that the guy really knows what he is doing. From what I read, the screenplay is awesome, I am getting my hopes up for this. I can say, give it a try, this will not be a typical hollywood action flick. Regards.