1. First off, you need to appreciate the risk this writer took on. Before you get all angry at my first point, let me explain. I don’t mean risk “financially” because we all know releasing a movie with the title “Texas Chainsaw 3D” has zero financial risk. Fact of the matter is, if you release a remake of this magnitude, people will see it and you will make money.
The risk I’m speaking of is the risk of having people get very angry with you and speaking for myself, I am not angry at all.
2. Everyone complains that re-makes tarnish the original and we should all know by now that this just isn’t true. When Rob Zombie released “Halloween,” people were pissed off. Like really pissed off. Next, “Friday the 13th” was remade.
And once again, people were pissed off. Same with “Nightmare on Elm Street,” and same with “Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003).” Now let’s all assume those remakes were terrible, and in my opinion only a few of those were. Does that mean that all of the originals were ruined? I’m sorry but I haven’t met one person who doesn’t watch the originals anymore because they claim the remake ruined it. So let’s stop being so critical and start thinking logically. Re-makes DO NOT ruin originals although most remakes are actually pretty bad.
3. Many people commented that this movie was silly and corny. That could be the most ridiculous complaint I have read so far. This comment seems to come up every time a new horror movie is made and it consistently gets me angry. “Trick or treat mother fucker (Halloween Resurrection),” “Pancakes? No kid. No pancakes! (Cabin Fever).” I could go on but quite frankly I would rather just get to the point.
Many people will say, “Oh well you are only speaking about recent horror movies, and those are all bad ones.” Well how about we look at a movie you all claim is a “classic.” “Return of the Living Dead II” is the corniest movie ever made and yet people call it art. You can’t tell me that the when the zombie head starting speaking with a southern accent that it wasn’t over the top silly. Mars Attacks, classic movie, yet insanely corny.
I mean the girls head on the dog kissing the other guys head as they died. Give me a break. Great movie none the less. I believe it was “Halloween 4” when the cops walk away from the house with clown music playing in the background out of nowhere. And now for my final example, let’s take the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”
What is with that fat bastard in the wheelchair making fart noises with his mouth complaining like some kind of animal as he entered the house with his sister’s friends upstairs having fun? That wasn’t silly? That wasn’t stupid? No it was “classic.” That is no different from the chick from the show “Lost” in “Texas Chainsaw 3D” muttering the words, “Welcome to Texas motherfucker!” Fact of the matter is, 80’s movies are corny and that is one of the reasons we love them.
4. My final and most important point yet, horror movies are meant to entertain. This movie is very entertaining. The 3D does not give you a headache because it is Real 3D. The acting is poor, but sorry to those who are new to horror genre, that it how acting in horror movies usually is.
They used simple techniques to pay tribute to the original, zooming in on people as they walk away, the freezer, the armadillo, and the main character falling at times for no reason. And for those “SAW” fans out there, you had to love that they included the lady in the pig mask and jigsaw robe at the carnival, not to mention the very SAW-style ending.
The movie wasn’t amazing but it was fun and entertaining. I did not say this movie was great but to say it was terrible and then call movies like “Return of the Living Dead II” a classic when people clearly stick their fingers in a southern speaking zombie head is absurd.
Note: This review was contributed by one of our readers and it was a great outlook so we promoted it so all of you could read it.