When the zombie apocalypse comes where will you hide? We have compiled a list of the 5 worst places to hide during a zombie apocalypse. It seemed fitting since we have already done an editorial on some Tips on How to Surive the Zombie Apocalypse
At first glance these places will seem like great locations to hide out but upon further inspection I think you will agree that these five hiding places have some pretty serious flaws.
In Plain Sight
Some of you might be considering the new tactic of hiding in plain sight. It was done with success in The Walking Dead, Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead but really it is one of the less intelligent choices. First and foremost who in their right mind wants to take a gamble of waddling out into a horde of zombies and pretending your one of them just to find out that your ‘gruesome outfit’ isn’t quite convincing enough.
Worst yet what happens when you run into another group of survivors. Do you suddenly just yell out ‘Hey over here I am alive’? You would face the options of death by zombie disembowling or death by head shot by another weary survivor. Hiding in plain sight is frankly just plain stupid.
The Shopping Mall
On paper the local mall also seems like a great place to hide out. It has ample supplies and has plenty of room for you to move around in on multiple levels. However if there is one thing that George Romero taught us with Dawn of the Dead is that Malls attract not only The Walking Dead but also marauders.
The Shopping mall has plenty of supplies that will help you but also be a magnet for other survivors and as much as you might wish they were a bunch of sexy young women or studly over sexed men if you are a female its more likely they will go MAD MAX on you and leave you for dead.
Worse yet a shopping mall has a ton of glass and a whack of different doors and entries and all it takes is one idiot to leave one door not secure and its game over. It goes from a really big bunker to a rat trap.
The cellar is a promising place to hide out since its below the ground which means it has limited access typically through only one door which you can barricade. You can store quite a bit of supplies and because it is beneath the ground it means it will also be a cool and comfortable place for you and your perishable goods. You will be enjoying the last quart of milk in your cool fruit cellar long after others have given up on it.
The problem with a cellar is also its strength it only has one way in and one way out so once the undead know you are in the cellar its game over since there is no way out. Who do you think will starve out first you or the zombies? My bet is you won’t have enough supplies to last forever and that will make exiting your bunker a hard sell.
The roof seems like a pretty solid place to hide from the undead. You have the advantage of taking the high ground and you can see a long ways around you making it easy to predict where the undead will be coming from next and more importantly seeing the best escape routes. This has been done before as demonstrated in AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead where Rick and the gang hid out on the roof of a high-rise building and later left Merle on it to meet his demise. This pretty much echoes the biggest problem with a roof. Typically one way up and one way down is never a good idea.
The other biggest problems with the roof is you have to lug all your supplies up onto the roof and more importantly depending on where you live you are exposed to some pretty horrible environmental factors.
In Bermuda you would be faced with wicked heat and monsoon storms. If you live in Toronto Canada you can expect not only wicked hot humidity and heat in the summer but you can also nasty winter colds reaching -30 outside easily. The roof seems like a great idea but it’s really not when you think about it.
At the end of George A Romero’s Day of the Dead our favorite survivors escape to an Island and my brain exploded with potential ideas for an ‘Island of the Dead’ sequel. An island initially seems like a good idea since once you clear it of zombies you are free and clear with the only access being by boat.
There is however one major flaw in this logic, zombies cannot swim but they don’t have to. Lucio Fulci’s ZOMBI proved that to us with the epic battle sequence as a shark went to town on a zombie.
An Island would probably be my favorite place to hide on this list but it is still not a very good idea.
So now that you have read my 5 horrible places to hide during the zombie apocalypse, where would you suggest are either good or bad places to hide out?