Yes folks, it’s happened. One day you wake up and discover that one of your worst nightmares has officially come true, the dead is walking the earth. Now there’s a few ways to go about it, but I’ve compiled a list of what AMC’s The Walking Dead has taught us about surviving. Because, clearly, life or death decisions should always be based on popular television shows!
1. “Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.”
Too soon? But in all seriousness, if we learned anything from Lori it was that unplanned pregnancies during the zombie apocalypse is probably not such a good idea. Even though we’re already attached to little ass kicker, there’s a time a place for everything.
2. Don’t be a jerk.
Yes, I’m looking at you Merle. Now we all have a love/hate relationship with Merle, but he got extremely lucky getting rescued on that roof, and realistically he should’ve croaked. I’ll admit, he looks pretty cool kicking ass with a stump of a hand, but it could have all been avoided if he just minded his manners.
3. Kill all the walkers, even the ones you used to know
Or if you can’t, at least have someone else do it. It’s like keeping around a rotting sandwich. Just because you loved it when it was fresh, it doesn’t mean that you should keep it around. It may seem a little crude, but there is no time for hesitation when you’re fighting for your life.
4. Disregard number three if you’re Michonne.
That being said, if you’re clever enough to turn your walkers into pets, you’re doing it right. If they’re sans arms and jaws, you not only have walker repellant, but a few companions! However, you have to be willing to butcher them, and if you’re not able to put a bullet or knife through their head, this may be a little too extreme for you. Again, you can’t hesitate!
5. Silent weapons for walkers, guns for humans.
If there’s more walkers than humans left, it makes more sense to save your ammo for your armed living enemies. Remember, walkers are fairly stupid and humans are fairly less stupid. In a situation where walkers outnumber humans, you’re going to need a weapon with infinite ammo that reloads itself, such as a knife, sword, spear, etc. How many times did someone kick the bucket for running out of ammo?
6. Be Daryl Dixon.
Or at least team up with someone like him. He’s skilled at using just about every weapon; crossbow, knives, rocks, axes, guns, etc. He got lost in a forest when he was a kid, so he knows how to take advantage of his surroundings to survive outdoors. He genuinely cares about his group, everyone remember how he almost died while looking for Sophia? And overall, he’s just a cool character.
7. Stick together.
Not only should it, hopefully, prevent you from going insane due to extreme isolation (cough cough Morgan,) but you also have people watching your back. If you do start going crazy, Rick, at least you have some people around to make sure you don’t do something dangerous. And if desperate times call for desperate measures, you can use one of your people as walker bait, a la Shane. However, that’s a total dick move and you have to be prepared for feeling extremely guilty for the remainder of your days. And don’t be an Andrea and choose the “D” over your friend who rescued you while you were on the verge of death, that’s like basic girl code.
When it comes down to it, everyone will die in a zombie apocalypse. But if you’re determined to prolong your life for as long as possible, equal parts common sense and badass-ness is the way to do it.