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Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

Dead Air 13 Comments

Have you ever been watching a horror movie and felt fed up with a character that wasn’t even the so-called “villain?” Somebody you just want to die? Don’t feel bad, chances are you’re dealing with a real jerk. The jerk or asshole is a time-honoured horror tradition who is usually a person whose true nature is revealed during stressful times when it’s a matter of life or death. They’re selfish cowards that usually get other characters killed while trying to save themselves.

Sometimes they are just like the others who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but other times the whole damn thing is their fault. There are almost as many jerks in horror as there are horror movies, but I’ve picked 10 that stick out to me the most. Here we go!

10 ) Fritz (Frankenstein, 1931)

Fritz was the hunchback assistant of Doctor Frankenstein added by universal and wasn’t originally part of Mary Shelly’s Novel. It seems he was added just to mess everything up. The monster was alive and under Frankenstein’s control, then Fritz walks in with the torch and makes the Monster freak out.

Okay, that could have been an honest mistake right? Well then you see Fritz tormenting the monster with fire and a whip while he’s locked up. What an asshole! The monster eventually kills him and starts his rampage on the townspeople. Good job, Fritz…

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

9 ) Carter Burke (Aliens, 1986)

Carter Burke lands at number nine on the list because he releases face-huggers to latch onto Ripley and Newt in order to bring specimens home for the evil Weyland-Yutani Corporation that wants to use the alien for a weapon.

Furthermore, he seals the other survivors of his party away to save himself when the aliens start their final attack. Well, it didn’t work out so well for him. You know what rhymes with Burke? Jerk.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

8 ) Hanover (Deep Rising, 1998)

Okay, so Deep Rising wasn’t exactly the best horror movie that ever came out, but for some reason the character of Hanover sticks with me as a real jerk. He’s the leader of a group of mercenaries that are about to rob a luxury cruise ship. The ship has been attacked by a giant octopus-like monster and blah blah they all have to get out to survive.

Hanover routinely screws over other character to survive but is finally caught and slowly eaten. Another character (who he recently shot in the leg) tosses him a gun to shoot himself with it. Hanover takes aim and tries to kill the guy instead. Now that’s a jerk! He realizes too late that it was the last bullet in the gun. Hanover was a jerk to the end.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

7 ) Gang-Bangers (Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, 1989)

I honestly could have picked a jerk from every Friday the 13th and called it a day, but I think we can do better than that. I’m taking the two gang-bangers that kidnap Rennie purely because it’s so random.

All the survivors finally get away from Jason and are in Manhattan for like two minutes before these guys show up out of nowhere and take Rennie, drug her up and are about to rape her. Don’t worry, though, cause Jason shows up and saves the day by mercilessly killing these two.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

6 ) Jake (Evil Dead II, 1987)

Okay, so old Jake is just an unlucky white trash guy who is worried about his girlfriend after she runs off into the woods. He seems alright for most of the movie than uh oh… he grabs the gun (nothing can turn a regular guy into a jerk faster than getting a hold of “the gun”). It’s not bad enough he’s flipping out and not listening to anybody, but he also throws the pages of the Necronomicon in the basement?!

Why would you do that?! It’s been clearly established that they need those pages to vanquish the evil. Well, he learned his lesson in the bloodiest fashion possible.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

5 ) Quentin (Cube, 1997)

If there ever was a bully in any horror movie, it’s friggin Quentin. Cube was a fantastic movie that did a lot with very little. Quentin starts off being a pretty level-headed guy, but soon starts to bully and terrorize the others in order to survive. He becomes so obsessed with his own survival that he turns into a cold-blooded murderer.

I’ve also never seen anyone so savagely beaten with a shoe before. He finally gets what’s coming to him, but by then the damage is done.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

4 ) Captain Rhodes (Day of the Dead, 1985)

Really, one can never give too much praise to Day of the Dead, but when it comes to jerks, it’s got a good one. Zombie movies always have a jerk who is usually a normal guy who just really doesn’t want to die. Rhodes is the ultimate bully control freak that takes advantage of the coming apocalypse to ensure his own survival.

Unfortunately, all jerks gotta die sometime but to his credit it was kind of metal. Nobody but a hardcore asshole can yell at zombies to choke on him as he’s getting ripped apart.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

3 ) Harry Cooper (Night of the Living Dead, 1968)

Harry Cooper only beats out Rhodes because he came first. He’s willing to be a team player, sure, but not without complaining as much as humanly possible. He isn’t willing to risk his life or the lives of his family to save anybody else. He tries to lock Ben out when a plan to escape fails, but things really go south when he tries to grab the gun from Ben and is shot for his efforts. Nobody likes you, Cooper!

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

2 ) Major Henry West and soldiers (28 Days Later, 2002)

I remember when I first saw 28 Days Later I didn’t like it purely for the last portion of the film that involved the evil group of military guys. When I saw the movie recently, however, I enjoyed it a lot more knowing these assholes were going to be killed in the worst ways possible. Zombie movies are great to showcase how humanity would react in the face of their own inevitable destruction.

Part of that are things like justifiable rape. Well how about some justifiable thumbs-to-the-eyes, you stupid jerks! Each one of these guys gets it in the end and it’s bloody satisfying.

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

1 ) Joel (Pumpkinhead, 1988)

So we’ve hit number one. Why does Joel take the top spot over the others? Well, because the entire killing of his friends by a vengeance demon is his fault. Joel was the one to recklessly take the dirt bike out and kill that kid. He makes everyone else flee the scene and threatens and intimidates everyone to shut them up so he doesn’t go to jail.

He even bashes people in the head and locks them in closets ! They even say it in the movie. “He’s a jerk. Yeah but he’s a talented jerk. No, he’s just a jerk jerk!”

Top Ten Horror Movie Jerks

Well that’s it for this top ten. Have I missed some of your favourites? Was there somebody you hated even more and loved when they got theirs? Comment and let us know!

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13 Comments

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      1. Ruth October 6, 2011 at 11:00 pm

        Loved these top ten picks! My favorite? Jerk, all of the above? Nah, it’s gotta be Jake, a close second is…Captain Rhodes.

      2. Ron Nocella October 7, 2011 at 12:25 am

        Id have included Xavier Chavez from SAW 2 on there. Anyone who throws a woman into a pit full of drug needles is a jerk. A big jerk. Or perhaps is he being saved for the Top 10 Horror Movie Assholes list? lol

      3. Manoftomorrow79 October 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm

        I would have put the cheating husband from Tommy Knockers on this list. First he lies about having to work late to have sex with his female co-worker. He picks a fight with his wife just to make up an excuse to leave the house. All so he can go meet up with his co-worker to screw again.  His wife makes him sandwitches for a hunting trip. He never goes to so he can meet up with his mistress again.Which he then throws away the bag before driving off with her later. And if that wasn’t an asshole move enough to label this guy king of jerks. When a kid goes missing he makes up a lame excuse to (you guessed it) go and screw his co-worker again.

      4. Ron Nocella October 8, 2011 at 1:51 am

        So, Im watching Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers and I decided that John Myers deserves to be on this list as well. Demeans his wife, beats up his daughter in front of her son and then calls him a bastard. All that AND he moves his family into the old Myers house which ends up getting everyone killed. JERK!

        • Dead Air October 8, 2011 at 5:55 am

          Oh good call on both Saw 2 (that scene just made me cringe) and Curse of Michael Myers!

      5. Paul October 11, 2011 at 10:32 pm

        The sport teacher in a Nightmare on Elm Street 2.

      6. Syrina October 16, 2011 at 6:55 pm

        The one guy that has always stuck in my mind as the most cruel and most hated character i have ever seen is “Percy Wetmore” from The Green Mile. I have never wanted anyone to die more than that guy, lol. That guy made me so angry and i litterly got sick to my stomach when he showed up in a scene. He’s a terrible, terrible man….if we are to call him that. Id love to hear anyone’s opinion on this, i also think it should be in the list, i feel like it was overlooked by accident, lol. Anyways id love to hear your thoughts ^^

      7. Lulu_luhxe October 19, 2011 at 5:27 pm

        well i dont know if it can be classified as a horror, but kevin bacon in “sleepers” anybody who rapes little boys deserves exactly what he gets!!! and the thing is, the guy plays such a believable asshole. ever seen the river wild? ’nuff said.

      8. BlondeRobynGirl April 15, 2013 at 1:11 am

        I agree with you on #2 and #3! There are so many people in horror movies who are total jerks that I don’t think I’d be able to narrow it down to 10 lol.

        • Dead Air April 15, 2013 at 1:22 am

          It’s pretty hard! I should really make another top ten for horror movie jerks just because there are so many!

        • Herner Klenthur
          Herner Klenthur April 15, 2013 at 10:46 am

          Yes you should… slacker :P

      9. dyhardjasonfan84 May 5, 2013 at 11:27 pm

        Lt. Con. Shelton & Sgt. Botnick from Child’s Play 3, Robert Campbell from Jason Goes To Hell, Mr. McCulloch from Friday the 13th part 8, and Deke from Creepshow 2.

      10. idleprimate October 7, 2013 at 12:05 am

        Mayor Vaughn of Amity. He was such an effective jerk that he’s become a trope in horror movies