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5 TV Series That are Doomed

Christopher Horton 22 Comments

Doom : judgment, decision; especially : a judicial condemnation or sentence.

Let me preface this by saying: I know that this opinion will not be popular. However, I mean to play Devil’s advocate with my writings. You might hate love me, by the end of this list.

That being said, I have been thinking about this for the past year or so. Is the Horror market becoming over-saturated?  Maybe I am just a truly jaded human being, but it seems like Hollywood is trying really hard to make a buck here lately off of genre fans.

Us. You and me. The “royal we”.

But to do so, is very, very tricky. “Why is it so tricky?”, one may ask?

Because horror fans are intelligent, and we are quick to judge a film or show. If it seems like something we’ve seen before, its as good as dead to us. We crave something new, and different. We love it, or we hate. The horror community is totally polarized. Our hoard is as brutal as the animal kingdom when it comes to our judgement.

Love it or hate it, “The Walking Dead” has paved the way for all of the other horror-centric series that are out there. ” The Walking Dead” has proven that you could have a series, with substantial gore and adult themes, and make a TON of money with it. The high production value, and in-depth character analysis is a literal blueprint for success. Not to mention, the show could literally go on for 50 seasons. They brought a comic book to life, where almost every character is expendable.

“American Horror Story” followed suite, and while not as popular, was also highly lucrative.  Mostly because “American Horror Story” re-invents itself completely every season. The story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. If you didn’t like last season, then you may like the next one! How Jessica Lange has not won multiple awards for her performance, is also a mystery to me.

There’s a long list of good shows out there, but I want to examine the not-so great ones.

So here are some TV series that I have checked out lately, only to be left disappointed. Maybe “disappointed” is not really the word I’m looking for. I felt like I got robbed. A victim of audio-visual mindcrime?

Something along those lines…

1. The Following

First up, is “The Following”. This one is complicated. I will keep it as brief as possible, when it comes to my gripes. This is the best of the worst…whatever THAT means.

The series started off strong. All of the actors involved are top notch. Kevin Bacon’s character is complex, and haunted. He is the very definition of “Neutral Good” when it comes to character analysis. Our serial killer, Joe, is also fantastic. He is intriguing, charismatic, and calculated.  Every episode gives you another piece of the puzzle, and the backstory (told in flashbacks, Like “LOST”) is near-genius. The dialogue is real, and believable.

The fact that Kevin Bacon also mercilessly shoots/murders at least one person per episode is also a big plus.

So why is it doomed?

They played all of their cards at once. This is essentially a one season story. Near the end, I was thinking: ” This cant keep going on. Maybe it will all get wrapped up in one season.”

Nope! They are going to drag it out. We are left with a cliff-hanger in the final episode that feels forced and contrived. You walk a fine line in the “business” of keeping your artistic integrity, and being a money grubbing whore. They took the path of the latter, in my opinion.

Told you so. You might hate me.

5 TV Series That are Doomed

2. Hannibal

Oh good!! You’re still reading! I’m very proud of you,  reader.

“Red Dragon”  was my favorite of the Hannibal series of books. Will Graham is a complicated, brilliant FBI profiler and the first to “work” with Dr. Lecter.  Will Graham eventually has his entire life turned upside down by his involvement, and suffers greatly by the end of the story. He is a compelling character,  and Ed Norton (“Red Dragon”) and William Petersen (“Manhunter”) have both played the role of Will Graham before Hugh Dancy.

While the production is outstanding, and the actors are great…I just couldn’t get into it. Like “The Following”, I feel that this show also suffers from the plot being written into a corner. How far can this possibly go? We already know how it ends!

5 TV Series That are Doomed

And with that said, let me continue my unpopular opinion with:

3. Grimm

This show sucks.

There. I said it. It’s a juvenile way to express my feelings, I know. I’m ashamed of myself.

From the good-looking-reluctant-destiny-bound-hero, to his werewolf buddy…it sucks. The special effects are lame. The plot is boring. The acting is laughable. This could be on the CW network, right after something equally as lame like “The Vampire Diaries”.

I still watched a good bit of the show, even though my mind was made up after the first episode. I compare it to watching gender reassignment surgery videos, or that video on youtube where the tarantula eats a whole mouse. You watch it out of pure, sick perversion.

Or maybe I am just a masochist and I hate myself.

No. That’s wrong. I hate everyone else.

At any rate…

Every time I see a commercial for new episodes, I sit there in total wonderment and surprise. Not only did it finish a full season, It’s still going.

Just like the unexplained phenomenon of  Nickleback selling millions of albums- PEOPLE, SOMEWHERE, IN LARGE QUANTITIES are watching “Grimm” on a regular basis.

I guess there is a huge market for shows that are seemingly written by barely literate, slack-jawed 13 year olds that re-hash classic fairy tales.

Whew! I thought I was going to come off as mean on that one. Glad I was just honest…

5 TV Series That are Doomed

4. Siberia

This is the very definition of doomed. If I were to list four things that concoct the lamest idea ever for a horror series, my list would look like this:

  • Found Footage style
  • Reality TV
  • PG 13 Horror
  • Idiots running around in the woods

The series is only a few episodes in, and already seems like it’s over-stayed it’s welcome.

The characters are vapid, more so than actual reality Tv stars… considering the wealth of profoundly stupid reality shows out there, this says a lot. The plot is over-used, trite nonsense. The acting is unintentionally hilarious. The special effects are not very special.

Whats going on in the woods? What will happen to our characters? Is it all a part of the show? Is there a deeper meaning?

I don’t care. Next!!!!

5 TV Series That are Doomed

5. Bates Motel

Ugh. I think I’m going to have to take a nap, purge my stomach of its contents, and take a bleach shower after this.

Were the 3 original films, and one remake just not enough? Did we somehow miss some of the story with all of those efforts? Is Norman Bates really such a compelling character that we have to have an entire TV series dedicated to his story?

Have the dirty vampires that run Hollywood become so entirely bankrupt on originality that this is all we get?

Here I present to you, an overheard conversation at NBC Studios:

” We need a new horror series. People are really eating up scary stuff here lately, but we don’t have talented enough writers to come up with anything original on-the-fly. However, my entire life revolves around money, so…”

“How about we just take a classic horror movie, and make a prequel to it? The public is dumb. They will love it, because they identify with the source material. Something Hitchcock? The Birds? Veritgo? PSYCHO?”

“That’s genius! People will watch anything. Look at that Honey Boo Boo! Lets go pitch the idea and then go spend some money!”

*Vomit*

5 TV Series That are Doomed

What are your thoughts? Have you been excited about a TV show lately that left a bad taste in your mouth? Leave your comments at the bottom!

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22 Comments

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      1. Chuva August 3, 2013 at 7:53 pm

        The only redeeming thing about Bates Motel, is the always amazing Vera Farmiga. Even if I don’t like what she’s in, I love her in it. But even she didn’t keep me watching past 1 episode.

      2. Timmy t August 3, 2013 at 10:51 pm

        No argument here. I’m usually disappointed with most tv fare. That includes TWD and AHS, which people seem to love. I don’t. I’d also include most teen fare on the CW. And Hemlock Grove, which was a bust IMO.

      3. Christopher Horton August 3, 2013 at 11:22 pm

        Almost added Hemlock Grove on here, but didnt because I think everyone agrees that it sucks.

        • Herner Klenthur
          Herner Klenthur August 4, 2013 at 1:12 am

          TONS of people love Hemlock Grove! Which is shocking to me.

        • rbk August 4, 2013 at 6:55 pm

          Yeah, you’d be surprised how many people love this show.

      4. Tiago August 4, 2013 at 3:10 am

        About Bates Motel, it does have something to add to the Norman Bates character, who is a character deep enough to be explored like that. The relation between him and his mother is a Freudian showcase, and has so many aspects to be explored. But I think it should have been a 1 season show, a short series.

      5. Em August 4, 2013 at 7:29 am

        I actually love Bates Motel.

      6. Greg August 4, 2013 at 4:05 pm

        Hannibal is the only show I’ve seen from this list. The special effects alone are enough to keep it going for a couple more seasons. They can’t show all the gore they want on NBC, so there’s a Hannibal twitter that live tweets more photos that show the gore.

        I’ve talked with friends about where this show could go and there are so many different possibilities.

        The only part of the show I don’t like are the little hints every episode that Hannibal might be a cannibal. Almost everybody watching knows the answer to that already.

        • cah111480 August 4, 2013 at 8:50 pm

          and also, according to the story/book…Will Graham loses, ultimately.

      7. Michael August 4, 2013 at 11:27 pm

        I agree with all these, except Hannibal, which I love, though I see it as more of a mystery/thriller than a horror. I would personally add American Horror Story on here, which is probably an unpopular opinion. I found it semi-entertaining, but I never thought it was scary and the plot was just way too familiar to be interesting.

      8. John W August 5, 2013 at 3:50 am

        Well at least Sleepy Hollow is going to be a bona fide hit right? Right? cricket, cricket…

      9. Daniel Peterson August 5, 2013 at 7:18 am

        I’ve only watched the entire first seasons of Following and Bates Motel and I love them.Christopher you haven’t provided any proof on either of those to explain. Why you believe they won’t survive their upcoming seasons.

        • Christopher Horton
          Christopher Horton August 5, 2013 at 9:34 am

          Theres no such thing as proof in predicting the future. Im just judging by the fact that The Following pulled out all of the stops in it’s first season. It should have been a mini-series or something. It was a great story, but they’ve written themselves into a corner, I believe. Its going to seem awfully forced to continue that story.

      10. Strider August 5, 2013 at 2:14 pm

        I liked the Following but agree with your points. I like Bates Motel a lot and I avoided it when it was in it’s run because of dumb preconceptions. I like Hannibal but I have no idea where it could go.

        I love Grimm. Cheesy? Yes! But the characters of Monroe and Captain Renard are wonderful and that’s what I base my viewing on mostly.

        I don’t know. I must be losing my cynicism in my old age.

      11. mr.sin August 6, 2013 at 5:32 am

        … there were 4 psycho movies.. not including the remake.

        • Christopher Horton
          Christopher Horton August 6, 2013 at 12:10 pm

          So…what youre telling me is… theres even more reason not to make any thing else about Norman Bates. I only remembered 3 movies.

        • Tiago August 6, 2013 at 9:07 pm

          Dude, you can say whatever you want about Bates Motel. I don’t like many things about it. it’s a ok show to me,
          But about Norman Bates, really, you have to read more. If you don’t understand what that character represents to Horror, and the complexity of it’s construction you are uninformed. This is not a matter of taste. Psycho is one the best movies ever made. That’s not up to discussion. If you got brains you can see it. If Jason has more than 10 movies, Freddy got nine, Myers has got almost 10, Bates should have 100. His is a much more complex character than any other in horror. He is the Grandfather of them all.

      12. Christopher Horton August 6, 2013 at 9:22 pm

        No one said I didnt like the character. Im just tired of it. I want originality. new stories. New Characters. You cant just paint the canvas with the same colors that have already been used and call it interesting. 100 Movies about Norman Bates, would be boring after..I dunno..4 of them?

        • Tiago August 6, 2013 at 9:42 pm

          I see your point. I do agree there is a lack of new ideas in general. Chucky the killer doll is getting part 6 and Superman is the big new thing.

      13. OHRLY August 7, 2013 at 7:07 pm

        So this is really an article about shows you don’t like, not an article about shows that are doomed. Gotcha. Just clarify that next time.

      14. Clayton Frazier August 12, 2013 at 2:20 am

        I like Bates Motel, but I doubt its future. Since we already know the fate of Norman, it has a limited self life. It will take some great writing to do so. But so far, it has been average compared to the first episode which had lots more Horror bits in it. It became more drama. If BM was on a different channel like Showtime or an adult network, it wouldn’t be as safe and have more edgy content that I prefer . There are some plot lines as in the pot field stuff that doesn’t interest me. I don’t really care about what happening in the city as they’re hinting it. But the idea makes sense, Norman could getting away with killing in a city when there’s no real idea of Justice in it.

      15. Danielle Taylor February 14, 2014 at 12:20 am

        I will agree about The Following to an extent. The episode where Joey was being rescued(or so it seemed) the night Paul got shot, was an episode I was excited watching, but when he didn’t get rescued and it continued, I kind of wondered to myself if the writing was just going to keep going on and on with the chase to get Joey back..that seemed dissapointing..and then when the first season was coming to the end and Joe was battling Ryan, I also wondered how they were going to keep continuing on to another season whether Carroll either died or didn’t die. When he did “die” I thought, “how can the story go on without Carroll?” Then I believed he wasn’t dead but wondered what more story can we tell? BUT, even as I wonder, I still find interest in finding out what else they can come up with and I’m starting to see my perspective shift on certain characters like Emma because of the new followers joining. This show makes me think about psychology and the character of Carroll isn’t overdone, in fact, he’s pretty mesmerizing. So, maybe it will be doomed. But not yet.

        I love American Horror story. Actually, the first two seasons were fantastic. The first one was refreshing and new with scary, relevant references to reality while the second season was downright in control of my psyche.(imagine waking up in a psycho ward where you are tied down and have no way of leaving when you are perfectly sane..and realizing you may be doomed in a dark reality to live forever..)
        The third season was too light for me. No real psychology going on for me which in all honesty is exactly why I love these shows, it makes me really dig deep.

        Bates Motel. I don’t really see it is a remake show..it seems like it’s portraying a realistic view of a teenagers life and his progression towards a future that we fully know all about. And this show also takes you into your own psychology. I can’t say I agree that this one is doomed either, he’s only a teenager and when his mother is actually dead she is a senior citizen so there is much story to tell.