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Read More Editorial
The 32 Rules of Zombieland
Posted By : Meh, Sunday Oct,04
Filed Under : Editorial, Zombie, , Zombieland has 32 rules and for the most part alot of them go unspoken and some I simply cant remember. So I thought what better job then fill in all the missing rules to give everyone a good and proper education on how to survive a zombie outbreak. So with only about 6 of the Zombieland Rules actually shared in the film here is my 32 Rules of Surviving Zombieland.. give or take. The actual zombieland rules are in ITALIC. My filler rules are not. As we get more of the official rules we missed this list will be updated so please leave comments and we will fill in all the missing numbers! Rule 1: Cardio: This one comes up in Zombieland and clearly makes alot of sense. How many fat people do you see at the end of the world when its zombies doing the ending?
Rule 2: Beware of Bathrooms: Really not just bathrooms any good apocalyptic zombie survivor should know better then going into a bathroom, small closet or any other small room with only one way in or out. Only thing stupider to go into then a bathroom is a movie theater. Lots of places to run around before you get eaten.
Rule 3: Seatbelts: Its a safe bet unless your a complete dumb dumb ( see rule #7 ) your not going to be hoofing it on foot in the event of a zombie outbreak. So when travelling on four wheels wear your seat belt. Nothing worse then finding yourself ejected out of your car into the loving and oh so hungry arms of zombies.
Rule 4: Doubletap: Carrying a gun is a great idea but it should never be your primary weapon. When you do end up using it for that last minute 'oh shit' moment remember to double tap. Its an emergency and thats why your using it and not your cricket bat so why skimp? One bullet more in the head will go a long way to ensuring your survival.
Rule 5: No Attachments: This is a tough one but you can not have attachments. If you got kids or a wife your less likely to survive then the gal or guy who has no attachments and nothing slowing him or her down. Or worse yet making bonehead decisions like 'going back into the room'
Rule 6: Travel in a Group: The best way to increase your odds of survival when travelling in a zombie outbreak is to make sure your a traveling buffet. Going it alone gives the zombies no choices but to eat you. Going it with the old man with the limp, the little kid who cant run and the middle aged woman with the plastic leg gives the zombies more options and you better odds you can run away faster then they can.
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