The Eye Set Visit

The clouds above me are a dark gray, rare for Los Angeles, but certainly not unheard of. I stand on the roof of post modern hotel, at a bar with decor that can best described as "ridonkulous". I stand, knowing that a few blocks away, down below in the streets of Los Angeles (Grand St. between 5th and 6th, to be precise), Sue Storm herself, Ms. Jessica Alba, is trying to emerge from a taxi cab in the rain. For a brief second, I wonder if Ms. Alba has enough pull in Hollywood to actually have caused this overcast day to accommodate the filming schedule.  (Or maybe Budha/Zues/Odin/God, etc is just a REALLY big Dark Angel fan). All I know is, it must be really difficult for an actress to get out of a cab in the rain, holding an umbrella, a violin, and a cane all at once. Right, I probably should have mentioned that Alba is playing a blind woman. For this scene, anyway.

I'm on (well, technically ABOVE) the set of The Eye, munching on an assortment of random food that someone felt "resembled a single guy's attempt to cook dinner for his girlfriend". Sure it's tasty, but what a strange selection. I'm waiting for Ms. Alba, and the directors to arrive, so that we may grill them about this new film, and hopefully ascertain some new insight onto a film that some hardcore fans feel should not be made, as it could be "just another Hollywood remake."

The Eye is a remake of the Pang brothers hit Honk Kong thriller. Jessica Alba stars as Sydney Wells, a very talented and very blind concert violinist.. That is until she undergoes a transplant to restore her sight. No doubt, there will be some unforeseen consequences to this operation, some that will result in psychological horror. For those who have seen the original film, you already know the results. Also along for the ride is Alessandro Nivola (who I will always remember as Pollux Troy in Face/Off) as a psychologist who will eventually jeopardize his career (and possibly his heart) to help this girl.

And when you see Jessica Alba, you realize you would probably jeopardize your own career to help her out. Hell, some might even jeopardize everything you could possibly imagine to catch a glimpse of her walking down the street. But would one jeopardize hunger for Jessica Alba? That's a question only a man such as myself is truly prepared to answer, but I shall get to that in a moment.

Under the guidance of French co-directors, David Moreau and Xavier Palud (the team responsible for "Them", and not the one with the giant ants), this remake is attempting to be more than meets the proverbial..., well you can see where that sentence is headed. "They have this confidence about them that they can hold the camera a little longer - that's crucial to the fear factor of these movies" Nivola speaks of his directors.  "If you're able to disassociate too easily with the world of the film, the more real it becomes and the scarier it becomes - and they certainly have a knack for that." When asked what it's like working for two directors, Nivola dryly responds "Oh, it's all the rage these days!"

"We basically do everything together. When we're on the set, maybe one that speaks more than the other, but it's pretty similar to working with one director." Xavier says between puffs of a cigarette. "We can concentrate on the story," added David "When you're alone, you wish you could have someone else for the story; we follow the same line."

Alba also feels strongly about her directors. "They're excellent, they really compliment each other. They're like a great married couple, an ideal marriage; they're each other's yin and yang." Despite the fact that David wears a New York Yankees cap, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. These two men seem focused on the task at hand, even if Xavier chain smokes at about the level of Constantine.

But Jessica Alba is hoping these two can provide her with a greater opportunity, as she is eager to shed herself from the comic book heroines from Sin City and Sue Storm she's come to embody. "I wanted to do something that transcended into the genre, " she says while taking a large bite of a tiny burger. "In this, it's really intelligent and it's a beautiful story of this girl's journey. Dealing with never having it (her sight), gaining it, and then losing her sanity. It just happens to be wrapped up in a horror movie, and I think that's just much more interesting than just playing something like running around in a white t-shirt assaulting people. I totally appreciate that stuff, I really do; but, it's a lot more interesting for me to play someone who's blind and a classical violin player than..."

Her voice trails off, but director Xavier is quick to finish her sentence. His answer? "A  girl running around the streets in her t-shirt in the rain." Which is precisely what I witness being filmed shortly thereafter.

To her credit, she was wearing a coat and some nice slacks, not exactly fare that sets off alarms at fetish clubs and comic book conventions. But I must say, she looked good in it. Too good, actually. So good, in fact,  that I decide to do something I'm willing to bet many men have dared try, but few have succeeded.

I asked Jessica Alba if I could have some of her fries. They were really quite tasty, some still having a bit of the russet skin left on. Then they were seasoned with a plethora of spices the likes of which I have never seen. They were magnificent fries. And they sat there, staring me in the eye the entire time.  You must understand, I had to do it.

"Absolutely!", she was quick to respond. This provided me with a brief moment of shock as I naturally assumed she would think me creepy. Alas, she seemed genuinely happy that I had asked her for her fries, as if this was the moment of the entire day she was waiting for. (I knew wearing the shirt that boldly proclaims "I Am Mighty" would come in handy this day). "But to be honest, they're kind of cold, and not that great."Though not exactly a ringing endorsement, I proceed anyway. And I'll be damned, she's right. They were rather luke.

Regardless, if I go by the Lloyd Dobler sanctioned meaning of the word, I have now successfully had a date with Jessica Alba. (We shared a meal! That's eating!) Just try and deny me my claim on that one.

However, a perfect moment in the end always turns out to be just that: a moment. Jessica (or Jess, as I have now decided to call her in my mind, and solely in my mind, seeing as how we're so close already) must quickly return to the set where she is to film more of the scene in the rain. I didn't care, though, for I was on cloud 9. (Well, technically, I was on this chair that was a waterbed. Refer to my "ridonkulous" description of the decor).

Shortly thereafter, it's time to visit the set. A closed off street is the locale, and high above our heads is a giant sprinkler system. A crowd of curious onlookers try to catch a glimpse of my latest lunch date. And everybody waits while the directors try to get everything perfect. There's quiet on the set. The fake rain begins to pour down in ways I haven't seen since I left New Jersey. A PA is positioned inside the taxi to assist Jessica out of the cab. Another PA informs me that the closer I stand, the more soaked I will get from the rain machines. The director calls "Ac...

Dude! I totally asked Jessica Alba for her fries! I got the nerve to say something directly to her, and I got the greatest response I could have possibly gotten. Holy crap, I am such the man! For as proud as I was (and still am) at that moment, I'm afraid that watching Jessica Alba get out of a taxi is an activity that can only be done so many times before it gets tedious, even when there's no restraining order presented to myself at the end. Granted, that's the nature of moviemaking. But my time was running out, and I had to bid adieu to Jessica Alba. From across the set. While she was in a cab. Playing a blind person. Most likely wearing glasses that provide her with darkness and allow her to get deeper into her role.

(While rehearsing for the part, Jess mentioned that she wore sleep shades around her apartment, which gave her a claustrophobic feel. In a strange twist of wordplay, this opened her eyes to what it was like to be blind. On top of which she had to train for hours each day on the violin, to play these difficult pieces of music Xavier had picked. See Jess? I'm a great listener!)

So I departed the raining street, and turned the corner to find sunny skies, an occurrence all too common in LA. (And from what I hear Miami in the summertime). I left secure in the knowledge that I set out to achieve something grand and I accomplished it. And damn, am I proud. so proud in fact that I shall proclaim it from rooftops. Or in crowded groups of people. So when The Eye is released this October, keep your ear out in the theater. Because there might be some crazy bearded viking-looking guy shouting with pride: I had some of her fries!